It was almost time for the boys to leave on their tour, and no one was more saddened by it than Irina and I. But the boys had worked so hard for this tour, and we had been working things out with Simon to see if we could come along on tour with them. He promised we could keep it a surprise until Irina and I were willing to tell the boys ourselves. It was Saturday and the boys got weekends off due to the fact that they had been wrapping down tour details extremely quick lately.
Zayn and I were going to have a day in, binge watching Netflix and eating our weight if not more, in food. I grabbed the drinks from downstairs and a couple of glasses, as well as a few sodas. Zayn left to go to 7-11 for cheap junk food. I quickly pulled my hair up into a bun and threw on a pair of sleep shorts and a loose fitting tank top; there was a loud noise from downstairs and sat up.
Grabbing the bat that Zayn keeps by the side of the bed I walked slowly downstairs only to see Zayn digging into the liquor cabinet, “What are you doing Zayn?” I asked.
He turned around quickly his eyes looked bloodshot, and the smell of cigs wafted over to me, “I’m looking for the liquor what do you think I’m doing?” he said gruffly.
“Are you smoking again Zayn? I thought we were working through that” I asked stepping towards him.
“Why would it matter if I’m smoking again, there is nothing wrong with me smoking once in a while. I miss it, before you were here I could smoke how much I wanted and wherever I wanted. Now this,” he gestured to me.
“What are you talking about Zayn?” I asked again, “What happened while you were out there?”
“I ran into an old friend of yours,” Zayn said pushing past me and walking angrily upstairs.
I followed quickly behind him, “An old friend?” my mind searched through every possible name of someone who I had known from the past. My heartbeat stopped, it couldn’t be.
He looked at me sensing how nervous I had become, “you know exactly who I am talking about don’t you.”
I shook my head quickly and looked down at the ground, while Zayn walked over to the dresser and grabbed the whiskey. I’ve never seen him like this before but after realizing who he saw I would be the exact same way.
I had no idea that he was here in London right now, I haven’t seen him in so long, it’s been years in fact. I haven’t heard from him in so long either, Irina told me it was just easier to forget about him, but he kept showing up, and he was going to my school so there was nothing I could do. My friends cut off ties with him too towards the end, and as his lies continued to unfold in front of him. I never told Zayn about him because I didn’t think they would ever meet, and I didn’t want anything to do with him.
Zayn took a rather large swig of the whiskey in his hand completely ignoring the cups that were on the dresser. His eyes tightened quickly as the whiskey went down his throat, “I’m going to go shower. I’ll need another bottle when I get back,” then he left. Just like that, without another word.
I stood in our room holding my sides. I felt my anxiety rise and called Irina, “Hey can we talk?” I asked into the phone.
“Yeah, what’s up? ... It’s Mere… I don’t know… In a minute… Hush babe, sorry mere what’s up?”
“Zayn ran into him, is drinking again and icing me out,” I said quickly, sitting down onto the kitchen floor.
“No. I thought he wasn’t here, when in the hell did he decide to be in London? How did he get… What does he want?” she asked.
“I’m not sure honestly. I don’t even know what happened. I can’t deal with this right now, my anxiety isn’t helping much either,” I replied back.
“Okay well remember, talking about it always- Just screw him, it gets everyone to shut up,” Niall took the phone from Irina but I knew it was handed back to her when she said, “Damn Niall get off of there, I’m trying to help Mere… Okay Meredith Grace you listen to me, you need to talk to Zayn and tell him how you feel. I know you don’t like talking about the past but at this point he needs to hear it from you. If you feel like your anxiety is getting worse while you talk you can always do the hand pinching thing, or you can try steady breathing, drinking water so your breathing also becomes steadier works as well. But call me after okay?”
I hung up the phone after that. It’s time to tell Zayn the truth. Taking a deep breath I got up and walked back into our room. Pulling our blankets up around me I sat there and waited for Zayn to get out of the shower. He came out of the bathroom with wet hair, glazed eyes, and wearing nothing but his boxers. He looked and me and then looked away again, and grabbed the other bottle of whiskey from the dresser.
Sighing I took the bottle back from Zayn and sat him down. “I’m sorry I never told you about him, he is the one giant mistake I made in my life. He constantly lied to me and tried things to push his luck, I’m 80% sure he cheated on me and he was the one person who never seemed to really be truthful to me, I always had a little voice in the back of my head, but I never wanted to listen. Then he broke up with me and just left. But he was always rude to me in the relationship and kept trying to talk to me after we ended things for god knows why. He makes me sick, and I promised myself I would never date anyone like him again. I haven’t, I’ve only dated two other people besides you, he was the bad one, and the other was okay and the third well that’s you Zayn. You’re the only one who I’ve ever truly loved; I’ve given everything to you and asked very little in return. I know that when I look back on my life you’ll be the best part. He shouldn’t even be on your radar of problems because he is so insignificant to me now. I never told you because I was supposed to forget about him. It made everything easier,” I finished my story and sat down next to Zayn.
He grabbed my hands and looked at me, “I understand that this was hard for you to tell me. But I do need to tell you what he talked to me about…” sighing he put the bottle on the nightstand and looked at me again, “he told me that…”