I woke up the next day and sat up, a little disoriented, but then I remembered yesterday. Zayn was leaving soon for the tour with the boys and was going to be gone for eight months. What was I supposed to do? I couldn’t let him go when we were fighting; I don’t know what he would do with that kind of freedom.
I called Irina, “Irina? When are the boys going on tour again?”
Irina: “In a month Mere, don’t you remember that it was postponed? We talked about this before Tobacco Caye, that’s why we stayed there for so long. Now will you go back to bed it’s ten in the morning, too early for this”
Me: “Oh right… I’m sorry for waking you, call me when you really get up we need to talk okay?”
I heard Irina mumble a yes before hanging up the phone. I sighed and sunk back down into my bed turning to the windows so that I could look out at the sun I grabbed my headphones again and put my music on shuffle, looking out at the water and the bits of sand that I could see on the beach from Zayn’s house. I remember the night Zayn and I met, I was only 18 then, we went to the beach and played in the water. It was so cold, but I remember how much fun we had then, chasing each other through the water. I remember pulling him in the water, his poor hair hung all around his face. Maybe I should forgive him, I know that he doesn’t love her the way he loves me. We’ve had so much history, Zayn wouldn’t trade that for anything in the world and I know that. I got up from my bed and fixed my hair quickly as I walked towards Zayn’s room. Then I heard voices coming from downstairs, it sounded like Zayn… and Perrie.
I had come over upon Zayn’s request; we had been talking for a while now, I was sitting outside with the patio doors open so we could walk into the kitchen if we needed more hot water. Zayn found the coffee cup that was mine when we were together; he had kept it this whole time. I looked at Zayn, stirring the tea with my spoon, “so, Zayn, do you buy into this idea of love? Or is it just another game, is it the game that no one really wants to play. Because it seems that we are dragged into love in this way, Love is the one thing that can never be truly fair. One person always gives more than the other; one person cares more or loves more. One person comes out knowing what they want and the other, well they come out broken and defeated. They come out thinking that nothing can go right, but do you want to know the beauty of this whole situation. It’s that the person who gets hurt the most will somehow pick themselves off their feet just to fall back in love with someone else. Love is a never ending game of chance, regret and light. There are times when you can’t see the downfalls; times when you think that this one will be the forever, that love is not in vain, but in the end you realize that if you had just opened your eyes and saw that you’d fallen again love wouldn’t have hurt you. I can promise you that loving you wasn’t me falling for a lie; it was me falling for hope. Hope that this love was different; that maybe you were different-”
Meredith looked at us from the entrance looking out onto the patio, “What is going on here?” she asked glaring at us. I didn’t know that Meredith was still here, from what Zayn told me it sounded like she had left, but here she was, standing with her fists clenched. Zayn looked at her, “Perrie and I were just talking doll, it was nothing” Zayn was implying that something was truly going on here; I could tell when she immediately tensed up. I shook my head and looked at Meredith, “Can I call you mere?” she shook her head quickly and glared at me again, “Okay, well Meredith, Zayn and I were honestly just talking. He asked me over here for advice on how to help with you. When Zayn and I were together and the tabloids were going crazy about our situation they made a story about us, much like the one written about you two. In fact it was written by the same person, Joana Smith, she’s a real bitch huh? I promise you that nothing happened between me and Zayn, some of those pictures are a few years old, the others well yes, we did meet for coffee once but that was when we talked about our different tours, I just wanted to catch up with Zayn. I can’t tell you why he didn’t tell you because I asked him to. There hasn’t been anything going on between me and Zayn since we were almost fiancées I promise you.”
Meredith relaxed a little, she believed me, that’s good. I don’t want her and Zayn to fight anymore. I was happy with my life without Zayn, I can’t lie sometimes something would happen that I knew he would love to hear about and I wanted to tell him but I knew that I couldn’t do that because I am no longer apart of Zayn’s life, he has created a new one, a great one at that. I picked myself up from the seat where I had been talking to Zayn and trying to talk to Meredith. “Zayn, it was nice to see you again, thank you for inviting me over but this isn’t my place, in your home or your life. Meredith is something you don’t want to throw away from someone like me; you have to make all of this up to her because it was beyond unfair of you to put her through this. I won’t be talking to you anymore or seeing you unless it’s on the street and even then I won’t say much. We will go back to how we were before, strangers. Your life with Meredith must get back on track and you must fix it, Meredith I want to stay in contact with you in case you need advice on how to deal with this troublemaker you call a husband. I’m not at all how everything else has made me to be and I don’t want ‘this’ Perrie to be the picture you have painted of me,” I walked over to Meredith and pulled off a slip of paper from their grocery list papers and wrote my number down, “I promise, I’m not who you think I am, just give me a chance,” she took the paper but with much hesitation, “Goodbye Zayn, this is just the beginning Meredith.”
Just like that Perrie was walking towards the door, but not before she got another sentence in, “thanks Zayn, for keeping my coffee mug all these years.” Perrie was gone now, and as the door closed with a click I looked at Zayn sitting in the chair that he hadn’t moved from this whole time. “So how did the not trust me thing go for you? I told you nothing was going on, and you didn’t believe me so I made it real, I left an anonymous tip for Joana to write that article, I was the close friend of us both, I sent Joana those pictures; it was all a big set up Meredith. I couldn’t think of any other way for you to understand that you need to trust me.”
I couldn’t move Zayn had set this entire thing up; it was all a big game to him. He was just testing me this whole time. I just looked at him shaking my head, “How could you do that to me Zayn, you saw Perrie once, but keep feeding me lie after lie every time you’d go out? Where did you even go? What would compel you to do this to me?” I sat down on the chair next to him.
“I was at the gym training; I have an old debt that needs repaying. I needed to find a way for you to trust me; I couldn’t think of anything else do to.” I couldn’t even look at Zayn. It takes so much for me to trust someone; Zayn was the only person, who I had let in without any kind of red flags. He was that same Zayn that I had met scouring the bars for a girl to go home with that night, nothing had changed about him. If anything the only real thing that seemed to have changed about him was the fact that he could string someone along for years without a second glance. I couldn’t believe any of this was real, I wanted to wake up, and I wanted this to be some kind of horrible nightmare. I looked at Zayn, “I can’t do this anymore,” I was once more faced with picking myself up from the mess Zayn had made. After packing my things I set my wedding ring on the table in front of him, “Good bye Zayn, have a good life.”
I walked towards the door, I was walking out on everything we had built, and I was walking out on the man I loved. This had to be the worst thing I’ve ever had to do, and I broke my femur for crying out loud. He grabbed my shoulder, “Meredith…”
I walked over to Meredith and Zayn’s cabin, this was only our third day on Tobacco Caye and they were sleeping the day away. I opened their door to see Zayn sleeping on the floor while Meredith was moving back and forth like she was in some kind of horrible nightmare. I grabbed her shoulder, “Meredith, wake up!” she sat bolt upright looking around the room franticly, “You were having a nightmare, and you promised we would go run around the island before the boys wake up.”
Meredith looked at me, “Zayn and I broke things off,” she looked as if she was beginning to cry.
“No you didn’t sweetie, we are still in Tobacco Caye, we went snorkeling last night and then had some drinks with the boys before going to bed, you promised we’d go running today, you were late so I came to check on you, Zayn is on the ground, see for yourself” I stepped off the bed and point down at Zayn who had his hand tucked under his head and was curled up in a ball. She looked down and saw him, her eyes lighting up. She jumped on him and began kissing his face, “ewww I’m just going to wait outside.”
I woke up to Meredith kissing me, “Good morning doll,” I managed to get out before she was kissing me again. I got her to sit up and looked at her, “What was that all about?”
“I love you Zayn, I love everything about you. I love that you make me see things in a whole new light and I love that you picked me to be your wife; you could have had any other girl in that bar Zayn and for some reason you picked me. That couldn’t have been a coincidence, it was fate. There are times when I couldn’t see the downfalls in our relationship; times when I knew that this we would will be the forever, and now I realize that our love was not in vain, I know that we will be each other’s forever Zayn, I know that our relationship is just getting started and that meeting you wasn’t me falling for a lie that you spun around your finger to get a girl to go home with you, it was me falling for hope. Hope that maybe this love was different, that maybe you were different and do you know what Zayn?”
She paused and I chuckled, “No Meredith Grace what is it?” I pushed a strand of her hair back.
“I was right, you are everything to me and more, I’m lucky enough that I get to spend the rest of my life with you,” she leaned down to kiss me again. I couldn’t help but beam at her, “Awe baby I love you too, and really it was me who got to be so lucky to call you mine, and I never thought that things would be like this for me. After everything I’m so happy that I get to call you mine, but I do have to ask you one thing,” she nodded at me smiling almost as much as I was, “how did I end up here on the floor?”
Her cheeks became a light shade of rose pink as she twisted her ring back and forth around her finger, “I may have something to do with that… But I’ll tell you about it later Irina and I are going to go run around, go back to bed and I’ll wake you up later I promise,” with that she was gone in a flash disappearing from my sight only to return wearing a bathing suit top and running shorts along with socks. I managed my way back up onto the bed and shut my eyes as she pulled on her sneakers. Before I fell asleep I heard her say, “I’ll always love you Zayn Malik,” and then she was gone again and everything went black.