It's been over a week and I still haven't figured out how to tell Kyle. A part of me thought it could've worked if Justin wasn't involved but he is and he is the only one I want. I really don't want to lose Kyle as my friend but I have doubt we will remain friends. I didn't even know what it was like to be his friend considering that's not how we started out. I was trying to hangout with Kyle and act more of a friend so if I brought up the suggestion, it would seem more comfortable. I also didn't wanna hurt him. Kyle was honestly the second best guy I've met, first being Justin. If I keep stringing Kyle a long it will just cause more problems so I have to tell him as soon as possible.
Justin was coming over today and I was extremely excited. I haven't seen him since the morning after the hotel since he's been busy with a lot of school work considering his first university year was coming to end for him. We haven't had any bonding time as a couple yet and to be honest I just wanted to stay home and watch a movie with him rather than go on one of his expensive spontaneous dates. My phone started ringing and I was snapped out of my deep thought. "Uh..hello?" -I answered distractedly.
"Babe?" -Justin's voice gave me butterflies.
"Hey J," -I said. He paused.
"Well, are you coming?" -He asked me.
I was confused.
"Uh..where?" -He laughed.
"Downstairs, I have the car here."
I sighed. I walked over to the window to see him standing outside on the phone.
"Justin, can't we just stay home and cuddle or something?" -He paused and I saw him bite his lip. "Oh of course, I've been dying for that I just thought you wanted to take it slower as a couple."
I couldn't help but laugh.
"Justin, we've been through so much already that we're close enough to spend the whole day in the comfort of a bedroom together."
His voice got raspy for a second.
"Did you..just mean cuddling?" -He looked up at my window and winked at me.
He was such a goof. I hung up the phone and signaled him to come in. As I heard his footsteps come up the stairs to my apartment I got goosebumps. I got so happy around him now and I definitely have never been happier. I was checking my phone for any texts as I felt two hands slowly and lightly trace my hips to the front. I loved being hugged from behind. I starting smiling as he picked me up and spun me around throwing me on the bed. I looked up at him.
"Miss me?" -He stuck his tongue out.
He was literally the only person that could look adorable and sexy at the same time.
"Nope," -I winked at him.
He widened his eyes.
"Excuse me, you're gonna regret saying that."
He jumped on top of me pinning my hands while he tickled all up the sides of my body.
"JUSTIN! Stop!!!" -I screamed letting laughter pour out of me.
"Say it, say you missed me!" -He teased.
"NO!" -I replied.
He tickled harder making my stomach hurt with laughter.
"OKAY! I missed you!!"
He immediatly stopped.
He leaned down to kiss my lips gently, he only touched them for less than a second and pulled away. He left me wanting more.
"You're such a tease!" -I picked up a pillow and threw it at his head.
"Ouch!" -He yelled.
"Second round?" -He starting tingling his fingers.
"NO! I'm sorry." -He just laughed it off.
This is where I wanted to be. This is who I wanted to spend my life with. Justin and only Justin. He is my definition of happiness and the one I most certainly wanted to be with. But how could I tell this to Kyle?
"Babe, what's wrong?" -Justin asked me.
He got up from the edge of the bed and hovered over me. He kissed me gently but didn't pull away. He deepened the kiss and I never wanted to let go. He pulled away for a second.
"I love you Spencer," -he leaned back down for another kiss and I felt him smile during the kiss.
I absolutely loved that feeling. He pulled away again looking me in the eyes. It was dark in the room as the sun was setting but a ray of light was shimmering through the blinds going right across his eyes. It made them look so much brighter, so much browner, so much more mesmerizing. I saw confusion in his eyes as I hadn't replied to his 'I love you'. I wanted to say it but the words didn't come out. Kyle wouldn't escape my mind and I felt guilty saying that I loved someone else when Kyle still thought we were together. Justin's eyes then turned into sadness and I saw him twitch his lip, he does that when he doesn't know what to say.
"Oh is the problem...that you don't um..like me?"
The words sounded hard for him to get out.
"Oh my god no,"
I sat up and put both hands on either side of his face looking him directly in the eyes.
"I love you, to the moon and back. I love you more than words can say and I love you more than a white girl needs Starbucks,"
I saw him smirk with the corner of my eye and I looked at his lips. I kissed him, but not gently this time. It was a deep long kiss that lasted a while. Our tongues met and kissing him could make any bad thought disappear. He was so graceful and unsloppy. I loved it. He was the first guy I've kissed that had no flaws. Nothing was awkward between us. I knew that I was 100% in love with this boy.
Justin and I had picked a comedy movie but he was already asleep. He was lying down with one arm supporting his head and the other wrapped around me. I had my head rested on his chest. I looked up to see his eyes fluttering as he slept. I felt his chest rising and lowering with deep soft breaths. This moment was heaven. He was so perfect as he slept. Everything about him so delicate and beautiful, I could stare at him and just admire him for hours so surprised that this guy was mine. My amazing moment was disrupted when I heard a knock at my door. It made me jump at first and I tried my hardest not to wake Justin. I slowly slipped his arm off me and placing a pillow under it so he wouldn't know the difference. I tip toed to the door and my heart jumped. I was in shock but let one word slip out of my mouth,