I woke up only to sigh at the thought of school today. It would be my first day back since my self worth was destroyed. I couldn't help but feel gross and used. I felt dirty. I didn't want to see his face. That evil face that forced me against my will. My mother wanted to punish him but restrained and said it'd be to hard to go through with it. I would hopefully be able to transfer my classes soon but I had to deal with today. I pulled myself out of bed and felt absolutely empty. I wore sweats and put my hair up because I felt uncomfortable showing the curves or exposing my body. This feeling was complete hell. But worst of all, I kept blaming myself for it. I felt like a slut, disgusting. Why did this boy have to make me feel this way? I've never been this upset, ever. Even Justin couldn't make the pain go away. My mother drove me to school because I was always afraid to be alone. Afraid to be attacked. Afraid of the thoughts that might come across my mind if I were alone. She dropped me off and the sight of the school just made me feel worse. I wondered if anyone knew. If they did, today would be a living hell that I would hopefully walk out of alive. I took a deep breath and opened the doors to a 6-hour jail. People were staring. Whispering. What I feared most had happened, everybody knew. I could barely breath.
"Hey Brooke." -I was able to push out a small smile.
"Um, Spence, I love you but um. I think it's best if we take a break like if we come to close, we'll get sick of each other right? I knew you'd understand."
She flashed a smile and walked along with her other friends. Even my best friend had turned against me in fear people would start to whisper about her. No friends. No self confidence. No happiness. I was trapped in this cage I call my own skin. I continued down the hall looking past everyone's eyes on me. Half of these people staring used to be my friends. 800 people in this school. 1600 faces. Just a bunch of 2 faced people who I believed actually cared about me. Then it started. People started saying things to me.
"Slut" -I heard from behind me.
"Gross." -A group of girls said to each other.
"Why you wearing those sweats? Hiding your disgusting body?" -A senior managed to say to me.
I didn't cry until I reached the bathroom and locked myself in a stall. How could it be that I was attacked and Dylan still has all his friends and popularity and happiness. Mine was ripped away from me. I couldn't last in this school so I ran home the first chance I got.
It was now 6pm which means I had been crying on and off for over 6 hours. There was a knock at my bedroom door.
"Sweetie, the school called. You missed 3 periods. What Happened?"
I just wanted to scream at everyone in the world.
"Mom go away! I don't want to speak to anyone."
"Not even me..?" -A deep males voice traveled to my ears.
"Justin?" -I said desperately.
"Can I come in?"
He opened the door anyways. I just ran into his arms. It wasn't a flirty hug. It was a hold-me-for-dear-life hug. He said nothing just kept his arms tightly wrapped around me. He rested his chin on the top of my head and I couldn't help but burst into tears. He let go and pulled me towards the bed and sat me down.
"Spence, you'll get through this. We'll get through this. That jerk deserves to be locked up and you deserve to be happy." -he said looking me deep in the eyes with his gorgeous mocha eyes.
Gosh I loved him so much. I wanted him to be my friend forever. He just made me feel so comforted and I did forget a lot of the bad when I was with him. He stayed for a very long time just reading to me as I layed in bed, or playing with my hair while he sang different verses from songs he had wrote.
"I should go," -he said frowning while looking at the clock.
11:30. I feared I would have nightmares without him near.
"Can you stay with me Justin?" -he smiled.
"Of course. Always."
We did sleep in the same bed but it wasn't serious. He would just rub my back and sing when I couldn't sleep. Our relationship was complicated because anybody would think it was more than what it was. But truth is I just wanted him to protect me. Even if he was very attractive lying shirtless beside me right now as I felt his warm breath on my neck sending shivers down my spine. It was so comforting I fell asleep in seconds. It was the first time in days.
I opened my eyes only to see an empty spot beside me and I panicked.
"Justin?" -I said fairly loud and stressed.
"Don't worry I'm here. I just had to go to the bathroom."
He walked out of the bathroom and that's when I realized. He walked over with nothing but grey sweatpants on and he ran his fingers through his hair making a messy up do. He looked at me again with those perfect eyes and just laughed.
"Morning," -he said with a cute morning voice. It was that moment I realized. I loved him. Much more than a friend.