My stomach flipped seeing Justin holding my future in his hands. The contents of this letter would determine my future with him, where I live and my whole lives future. I did want to go to school in the states but I knew if I was accepted to TU, Justin would convince me to go there. I did want to be with him but it's not certain we'd last forever and if we ended I'd be stuck in a university I didn't initially choose wishing to be somewhere else. But how can I focus in a school miles and miles away missing him? It's not like we couldn't try long distance, but I'm not sure if I'd be able to do it.
"Are you gonna open it or just stare at me?" -Justin said holding out the envelope.
"Can we talk about it first?" -He replied with a confused look.
"Why would we have to do that? If you're in you're going. Isn't that what we decided?"
He had a sad look in his eyes and ran his fingers through his hair. I didn't want him to think I didn't want us to be together.
"Justin.. Please can we just talk?"
He licked his lips and gave me a slight nod sliding onto one of the two chairs at the kitchen table. I sat down across from him, straightening out my skirt. He still had a sad look lingering.
"Justin don't look at me like that, I just want to discus what's going to happen. I want to make sure we want the same things."
He shot right back with an answer, -"if you don't want to come to my school, I don't think we want the same things."
I really didn't like how he was handling this. All I wanted to make sure was there's a possibility I won't go there, and what the outcome will be.
"If I can't ask to talk without you getting upset, you can assume I will not be eager to keep this going."
My answer made him lighten up.
"I'm sorry," -he said sliding his hand across the table to hold mine.
"I just get upset thinking we might not work because it took so much for us to end up together and ever since that night, at the bar where you were reading under the influence, I wanted you to be mine. It's so cheesy, I know. But I've never drove 2 hours to serenade a girl who left town without even notifying me. You are much more than special."
I was looking into his eyes admiring the beautiful brown glow they had to them. And it pains me because he had the most alluring hazel eyes and he wasn't even able to see them. I don't mean in the mirror, or with a camera. I mean when he's doing something he adores, or the way he looks at me. It's quite amazing to see how the look of someone's eyes can change just because of the emotion inside them.
He noticed I was staring and his eyes moved to my lips. Ugh the best feeling. His eyes perked back up to meet mine and he started to lean over the table. He met my lips and immediately I was covered in goosebumps. I loved how something so simple could make me crazy. Realizing how much I just wanted to make out with him, he broke the kiss.
"Talk later?" -He asked.
"Most definitely." -I responded.
We both stood up and walked to the side of the table. His lips met my neck and he started softly but began to get rough. I was super turned on and I knew he was too. I pulled him off.
"Justin, kiss me."
Hearing my words he forced his lips to mine immediately adding tongue. He slid his hands to the back of my thighs and lifted me onto the table. I wrapped my legs around his waist and he pulled me in, he pulled away to speak with an out of breath deep voice,
"Spencer, I love you. You are so very perfect-"
I cut him off by sealing our lips again. This time I felt him smile and it was one of the best feelings in the world. I pulled away this time,
"I may be perfect, but perfect doesn't even begin to describe what you are."
I woke up with my head resting on Justin's bare chest, and I had remembered what last nights "talk" had ended in. I lifted my head to softly peck Justin's lips and his eyes fluttered open.
"Oh I thought you were sleeping." -I giggled.
"That's no excuse to stop." -He replied pulling me back in.
I just stared at him. His chiseled jaw line, and straight teeth, his full soft lips, his thick cut eyebrows and messed up morning hair. I adored this boy lying beside me in bed. This boy who showed me the correct way to live and how to deal with my problems. I don't know what I'd do without him and it was really hard to imagine. That's why this decision would be so hard. That's when I remembered I hadn't even open the letter after what happened last night.
"What's wrong?" -Justin questioned noticing my obvious facial change.
"The letter.." -I replied. His smile turned into a weak frown.
"We can't know or do anything until you open it Spence." -He said raising his eyebrows.
He was right. I leaned over the side of the bed grabbing a pair of sweatpants and a lose t-shirt. Sliding out of the covers, I walked towards the kitchen where we left the letter yesterday, it was on the floor now and I leaned over to pick it up.
"You, my darling are the key to everything my future holds." -I said kissing the envelope.
I slowly peeled it open scared for the turn out. I unfolded the paper to read the words;
We are sorry to inform you that your application for The University of Toronto has been declined.