When school finally came around the next week, I don't think I was ever so terrified to go back. It was like my brain was trying to trick me into thinking that everyone instantly knew about me. I knew that wasn't true, but that’s what my brain thought. It was getting close to the three month mark and I was really getting scared. I knew that I wasn't going to be able to hide this much longer from anyone. I was already insanely skinny, people would be able to tell. My morning sickness has actually slowed down some, so I wasn’t puking up my guts.
I was really putting a lot of thought into this whole situation. It was Alex’s baby, I was torn whether I should tell him or just keep this whole thing to myself. I wasn't even sure how to tell my parents either. I'm going to need help eventually and I don't want that to be the day that the baby is born. Hell, I don't even know if I should keep the baby. Maybe I could put her- or him - up for adoption, give it to a family that would be able to take care of it. I'm only seventeen. I can't take care of a baby. I care barely take care of myself half of the time.
I stared ahead in my math class doodling on some notebook paper. Jenna wasn't here today so I didn't have anyone to talk actually talk to in this class. The teacher came up to me again asking if I was okay. I told her yes. In a way I really was just fine. I was just stuck in a really big hole that was slowly getting smaller. I sat my pencil down resting my hand on my stomach still thinking about this. You couldn't feel or see anything so early but I still knew that there was a baby growing in there. It was a really strange thought.
The bell rang and knocked me out of my daze and I got up shoving all my stuff into my bag. Everyone shoved past me in the hall pushing me around. Not that they were all really meaning to, the school was just really small and had a lot of kids. I made my way to my locker and put my stuff in it so I could go to lunch. A minute later, the devil himself showed up next to me.
“Hey, there.” Alex hummed using his charm as always. I do have to admit it, he was charming and attractive. But I knew that he was an asshole that cheated on his girlfriend. Not that it made me much better. I'm the person that he cheated with.
“Hi.” I mumbled and turned to him. I felt like he knew about the baby, but I knew that he couldn't.
“Hows it going?” he said biting his lip.
“Why are you talking to me?” I asked trying to not sound rude, but it probably came off that way anyway.
“Why wouldn't I talk to you?” He asked leaning against the locker.
“Because you've ignored me for the three years that we had classes together. Just because we slept together doesn't mean that we need to talk. Ever.” I said and shut my locker about to walk away. He grabbed my wrist pulling me back. He bent down pushing his lips to my.
I pulled back looking around quickly, looking to see if anyone saw, but the halls were empty. “Why did you do that?” I yelled in a hushed tone.
“Because I think that you’re cute.” I kept shaking my head trying to speak, but I didn't really know what to say at all.
“Why do you keep doing that?” he gave me a stupid look like he didn't know what I was talking about. “This.” I said “This kissing me and flirting with me. You have a girlfriend. You can't be that big of a douche to cheat on her, again, with the same person.” he just shrugged. He was the most confusing and unbelievable person ever. That's it. I'm not telling him at all about the baby. I walked away from him and sat down by Rian. I wasn't getting anything to eat, I was starting to feel sick again so I didn't wanna throw up everything.
Cassadee drove us all to Rian’s house. Almost the second I stepped in the house, I ran to the bathroom and emptied whatever contents were in my stomach into the toilet. Cassadee came up behind me with a towel to wipe my face. “How are you?” She asked and looked at me sympathetically.
“I'm good. I think I just ate some bad food.” I lied to her.
“Rian told me.. you know.. about the baby and stuff.” I let out a loud annoyed sigh and rolled my eyes. “Don't be made. He just needed someone to tell.”
“I'm not made. I just wish he would have told me that you knew.” She shrugged and we walked down the hall to Rian’s room.
“Do you know what you’re going to do with him or her yet?” Cassadee asked sitting by Rian on the bed. I shook my head. “I think you should keep it.” She said smiling. I laughed at he a little. asking why. “Well because I think it’d be cute. Like your own little family. I want a little family one day.” I nodded.
That's all we did. For high schoolers, we sure didn't do much. We forced Cassadee to sing and damn she was good. She kept trying to pick out names for the baby. She would definitely make a good mom, when she older I hope. When they started making out and left. I only lived down a street down. My mom made dinner as usual and I ate about four plates, now that I was eating for for. But I also had to pee constantly and it sucked, but there wasn't much I could actually do about it.
I was currently 15 weeks pregnant and… showing. Over the weekend I had to buy bigger waisted pants and get a couple extra baggy shirts. I was feeling a lot better too. Most of the nausea went away. I was scared that something happened at first so Cassadee drove me back to the doctor and she told me that that was perfectly normal and a good thing that it was going away. I was in my third hour with Rian goofing off as usually. Only I just didn't move much. I didn't wanna risk anyone noticing that belly.
I got to my fourth, and last, class off the day and sadly that was creative writing with Alex. We even sat next to each other. Usually we broke off into groups and we sat on complete opposite directions of the room but today we were working on independent poems. I was never much of a poem person. I was great with stories and ideas, but I wasn't the best at poems. My left hand was on my stomach some. The farther along the got, I couldn't stop touching my stomach. Like it was some kind of instinct to try and confront the growing baby. Maybe it was, I had no clue. I never paid attention in our human bio classes.
I saw Alex looking at me from the corner of his eye. I turned to look at him. “Can I help you?” I asked maybe being a little too rude. He lifted his eyes and shook his head going back to his work. I did the same till he started staring at me again. “Okay, really. What do you want, Alex?”
“What is that?” He asked. I gave him a questioning look and he nodded towards my belly where my hand was rubbing it. I stopped and pulled my shirt away making sure it was draped over the stomach lightly.
“Its nothing.” I mumbled and got up. I asked if I could use the restroom and took the pass.
I stood in the bathroom just looking at myself in the mirror. This was getting harder and harder to hide. I lifted my shirt and looked at the belly. From the from the front and it didn't look like much, but, from the side you can see the belly. It wasn’t way out there, but it wasn't unnoticeable. The door opened and I dropped my shirt down. Alex came from around the corner. “Did you really need to follow me in here?” I asked and he just walked closer looking at my stomach. I moved closer to the sink so I could splash some water on my face and I dried off acting like he wasn't here.
“Are you pregnant?” He asked and looked… I don't know, worried? Maybe? What ever it was I was feeling a little uncomfortable. I sighed and nodded. “Is.. Umm is it mine?” He hesitated to ask. I shook my head. “Are you sure?”
“Yes. I'm sure. Its not yours.” I said trying not to look him in the eye, otherwise he would know that I'm lying. I was never the best at lying.
“Who’s is it?” He pressed on trying to get it out of me.
“No ones. You don't know him.” I said gulping trying to hide shaky breath. He almost looked relieved that I said it wasn't his but he still didn't seem convinced. It was a long uncomfortable silence before I started to walked away.
“Jack.” Alex said stopping me from leaving. I turned and looked at him. It looked like he was trying to say something but he kept opening and closing his mouth. “You’re sure that its not mine? Because.. We didn't use a condom or anything...” I can tell that he looked really worried. I’d never seen him like that before. He looked really scared. I don't know if this was going to protect me, or him but I told him no still.
“Its not yours.” I said quietly. I don't think it was convincing but I turned and left leaving Alex in the bathroom. It actually hurt to lie to him like that. About something so serious, but, Its better him not knowing.
I decided to walk home today. It probably wasn't a good Idea considering I'm pregnant, But I just really needed some air and I hated constantly sitting. Rian came with me instead of getting a ride with Cass. It was like he was some strange trained circus monkey that followed me around. But he was just looking out for me I guess. “I saw you come out of the bathroom earlier and Alex a minute after? What was that about?” he asked bumping into my shoulder.
“He saw my stomach and followed me when I left the classroom. It was nothing.” I shrugged it off.
“Did you tell him that it was his?” I shook my head. “Hes going to find out eventually.”
“Not if no one tells him.” I told Rian and walked a little ahead of him. But I still knew he was right.
I laid down that night and pull my shirt above my stomach. I rested my hand on it feeling little butterflies. Not necessarily movements, but little butterflies that were fluttering around in there. I kind of made me smile to myself. Something about it, despite me being scared shitless over it, made me weirdly happy, too. I was thinking about Alex still. I feel like he knows that I was lying to me. He may not have paid much attention to me the past few years, but its not hard to notice that I am a very quiet person around people I don't know. So the chance of it being someone else's was slim. Its like he knew about the baby already. I rolled my head back sinking into the pillows groaning. Maybe I should tell him…
So here’s a late update. Well its late to me. But I actually kind of like this chapter. I don't know. I was in a weird daze while writing it. But let me know what you think. Thank you for reading <3
Also I uploaded a new Kellic smut and a new Jalex One-Shot, so it would be awesome if you checked them out.