I was running down to sit in the bushes and snapped some pictures of Niall, but he was fast to find the flashes and where they came from and he walked in my direction. I was scared of what was going to happen. I didn’t want to hurt him so when he looked straight into my camera I snapped a few more pictures but then it all went as wrong is almost could.
I was sitting on the ground resting my left knee and my right foot. It was scary and he came up closer.
I heard him yell and it was clearly me he was talking to.
“Can’t a guy have some privacy?”
I kept snapping pictures of him and then quickly got up from the ground when he got way too close to me.
I let my camera hang around my neck and I was sure that he saw my face.
He was coming after me, and I ran longer into the bushes and out on the other side to the trail and kept running. He was following me for a long time but he eventually stopped and so did I when I made my way down to the rented car and was sitting behind the wheel. I couldn’t catch my breath and I was looking down and made sure all of my camera stuff was hidden properly in the car before I took off my cap and let my hair hang lose. I held my hands on the wheel before hitting it in anger and then drove off back to the apartment.
It was about 2.30 when I stopped outside and took all of my stuff with me in. I checked my phone for the first time since I had left the house. Niall had texted and called me a few times. I didn’t read the text I just called him back.
“Hey, you alright?”
He spoke as soon as he had answered the phone.
“No, we have something to talk about. Can you come by?”
“Sure, what’s up?”
“Nothing, it’s better if we speak about it in person.”
“Are you sure? You seem really upset Diana.”
“Just promise me you won’t hate me when you see.”
“I promised you last night.”
“Fine, meet me here as soon as possible then.”
I hung up and walked around the living room. I didn’t know if I actually wanted to tell him, but I had to. He had almost caught me today and I needed to tell him that it was me. I was running around till he got to the apartment and I went outside to let him in.
“So what’s the rush?”
“We better take it inside. Just please don’t hate me.”
“Why do you keep saying that?”
“Because I know you will.”
We went inside only to find the living room cleaned for everything that would give him the hint what I was working with and who I was working for.
“You better sit down.”
Whilst he did what I said still looking around the room I went out into the kitchen and got some sodas. I placed them on the table and then sat down on the sofa beside him. I hadn’t changed my clothes and I was surprised that he didn’t comment on it. He must have noticed the clothes on me earlier when I was running.
“What is it Diana?”
“The reason I can meet the people I can is because I sometimes have to do some other things that I’m not proud of Niall.”
“What do you mean?”
“The reason I can make money is because I sometimes do really stupid things.”
“What are you saying, are you dealing drugs?!”
“No, but sometimes I wish it was that easy.”
“What are you saying then?”
“It’s much easier to show you, but as I told you, you will hate me when I show you this.”
“Just tell me Diana, I can’t possibly hate you.”
“Why is that? Is it because I’m special? Because I can do the things I can do? You don’t know half of the shit I’ve done. Just today, just before I called you I had done something stupid.”
“Who’s forcing you to do these horrible things?”
“They aren’t that horrible and no one is forcing me, but if I want to keep meeting people I have to do something else as well. It’s all about work Niall and about getting the right… shot.”
I got up from the sofa and took my cap on the chair under the table and put my hair up the way it had been in Primrose Hill just an hour earlier. I walked back and stood before him before having tears streaming down my face.
“I’m so sorry, I told them I didn’t want to do this.”
“It was you?”
“I’m so sorry Niall.”
“But why would you do this?”
“Because I have no other choice.”
“You always have a choice.”
He spoke louder and I was scared of how angry he was going to be.
“It’s just not that simple…”
“The day we met? What were you really doing in Camden?”
“Let me show you.”
I opened my laptop and found my 128GB memory card with some of my pictures for the past few days. I found the map I had called “Niall Horan, Harry Styles – Camden Town 2/11-14” and showed him the pictures.
“That was you as well. I saw you! I defended you when all you really are is one of them! I let you into the biggest party of the year and you’re one of them. All the inside pictures are taken by you and your friend! You used me!”
“Niall I was never using you to get those pictures. It’s my job.”
“Your job? You really call this a job? After what I did for you? Does anyone even know? Liam? Andy?”
“No and they can’t okay.”
“Andy saw you today.”
“I know he did.”
“He was sure he knew you and you just ignored it and tried to cover it up to save yourself.”
“I told you, I said you would hate me if I told you who I really am.”
“Is this some game for you Diana?”
“It’s my job, it’s been for years.”
“The premiere of our movie.”
“Me and my team.”
“LAX arrivals for the tour.”
“That was my team as well.”
I looked down the ground and put my laptop back on the coffee table. I was ashamed of who I was and what it had done to me.
“I never meant to hurt you Niall. I’m so sorry.”
I knew how much he hated me right now, but not as much as he hated himself.
“I trusted you.”
“I know… I’m so sorry.”
“What are we gonna do about this Diana? I can’t have you running around taking pictures of me and my mates not to mention your friends.”
“Liam is the only one who’s my friend.”
“But you can’t keep yourself going on this. You need to get another job.”
“Don’t you think I’ve been trying? Do you really think I wanna keep doing this? Don’t you think I’ve tried getting out of it and back with my other team and just meeting everyone, but I need the paparazzi, they know much more.”
“And what do you get out of it?”
“I’m the only one know by face. I do this because I’ve made something of myself. I’ve made a name for myself.”
“But don’t make yourself live of that. Make something of yourself. Not the person everyone else wants you to be.”
“It’s more complicated than that.”
“No it’s not. I’ll help you.”
“But you can’t. There are rumours already. I think Ian told them about the club last night or that guy I was dancing with at some point.”
“Let them speak. Let them wonder why we’re suddenly hanging out together. Come out on the other side of the camera with me and live in the flashlight for a second. It so different when you’ve tried it and I’m sure we can find you something to do.”
“But why me?”
“Because you’re a sweetheart Diana, and people will love you for you if you let them, and not for those stupid pictures you take. I can help you meet the rest of the ones you want if you just please stop following me and my mates around with that stupid camera.”