We sat there discussing for a long time but suddenly it all just ended up with me crying and Niall almost crying and both of us being really angry with each other.
We sat there on the sofa all cuddled up to each other not saying anything. I was resting my head on his chest and he was holding his arms around me and softly running his hand up and down my arm.
“Do you hate me?”
My voice was a weak whisper out in the room and I didn’t want to say anything, but I needed to know if he did because I didn’t want him here if he did.
“I could never hate you, I was just a little disappointed, but it’s your job and you’re a big part of my job.”
“I’m glad you don’t.”
He sat a bit up and made me do the same. I turned around to look into his eyes and at him in general.
“Just promise me one thing.”
“Never let it hurt you or anyone close to you.”
“I’ve already done that. But I’ll never let it happen again. I promise.”
He took my hand and looked into my eyes.
“You’re a beautiful, talented and amazing girl, don’t let them take that away from you. Keep meeting everyone, but don’t let it turn into something ugly. Stay as a paparazzi for longer if that’s what you want, but just don’t hurt anyone around you.”
I smiled shyly at him and so did he at me, before he turned his head a little and then moved it closer to mine before he placed his lips softly over mine. I knew he wanted to do this, that’s why he had tried it last night at the club. It felt amazing and I knew he was moving fast but I couldn’t help but want to do this. I wanted him to kiss me, I had always dreamt of it. That’s how it was, that’s why I wanted to befriend Andy in the first place, and that’s why I even spoke to him. It seems strange that I’ve spent my entire adult life using people to get closer to other people but if you want to make a name of yourself in 2014 that’s how you do it. It’s the bitchy way but it’s that or some crappy TV program and I’m just not that lame. We leaned out after a while and I could help but pull him back into a hug. I knew he didn’t hate me now. He had proved his point to me as well as he had proven he wasn’t just another jerk.
He took his hand to my hair and held my head in his hands.
“Take care of yourself my girl.”
I was teasing him and testing him. I wasn’t anyone’s girl not now and hadn’t been for a while. My heart might have belonged to him for now but he would have to work to get me to be his, prove to me that he was worth it and I meant all of it.
“If you want to.”
“Let’s just take it one step at the time, but for now this is what I want to do.”
I leaned in and kissed him again, but this time it was more passionate and vulnerable. It was love and it was something I hadn’t felt since Ian and I had just started dating. It was back when I stayed in London for three months. I wasn’t going to stay that long this time but I had the car which only cost me about £10 a day and then gas, and the apartment was basically free because I knew the owners but I couldn’t leave my home for that long. Not this time, my parents were broken last time I did it and I wasn’t going to be able see them like that again.
Niall pulled me up on top of him and held me tight so he could keep the kisses coming. That was how we spend most of the afternoon, but around 6pm my phone started ringing again. This time it was Kendra. I guess she wanted an explanation.
“What’s up girl?”
“You have some explaining to do missy.”
“I know I do. What’ve you heard?”
“Everything! The rumour about you and Niall, the party last night, the party the day before that not to mention Niall have been seen by your apartment.”
“Yeah people have noticed the car alright. They know he’s there.”
“He’s not I swear.”
“What is going on with you Diana?”
“I can explain it all okay.”
“Where were you today?”
I got up from the sofa and signalled to Niall that he should stay there and then walked out into the kitchen where I lit up a cigarette while I was explaining everything to my friend.
“I was on a mission but Niall caught me, I’ve never been caught and he remembered me from the other day.”
“What’s going on, is he the reason you’re back?”
“I couldn’t stay in Sweden any longer, you know that. I didn’t know him when I first got here, but I do now. The challenge is complete. I got 5/5, but I don’t know if I can keep this game up Kendra. It’s all too much.”
“I was with the paparazzi last Wednesday when I got here, I was out snapping pictures of Niall and Harry, and Ian have been by and everything. And then we went to Ozzy Osbourne’s party because Niall snuck us in after we had met the first time because he had found my Swedish phone in Camden and had given it back to me. Liam asked me to come party with him and Andy at Funky Buddha so I did that as well and then Primrose Hill today and uggggggggggh! So much drama and everyone is acting up because I spent one night with Niall, and now he came by to talk about what happened last night okay. That’s everything.”
“And you got 5/5?”
“Liam made sure of that at Ozzy’s party. Gonna put the pictures up later.”
“And the rumours about you and Mr Horan?”
“Not true, we barely know each other.”
“So? It’s Niall.”
“I know but still.”
“It’s crazy coming to this point huh?”
“Tell me about it, how do people live with it? It’s so fucking annoying. The paparazzi are the worst. I told Craig not to post that story anywhere yet Adam texted me about it already. Everyone I know knows it’s me they are talking about which is pissing me off.”
“Just take it slow.”
“I will. Let’s hang out sometime next week, I need to figure this out.”
“Yeah let’s have a team meeting, just like back in the days.”
“Yeah sounds fun. I’ll see you around.”
She hung up and I put my cigarette out and threw it in the ashtray on the table before I took a cup of water and then went back into Niall.
“What was that about?”
“My friend Kendra, she’s asked me to meet up ever since I came over, but I haven’t been able to.”
“Basically, you and my ex-boyfriend Ian.”
I sat back down and rested my head on his shoulder.
“But it’s okay, because I like spending time with you. You’re different from what I thought.”
“Oh my Diana, if I wasn’t mistaken I would think you’re flirting with me.”
He smirked at me and I could help but to smile back at him.
I looked up at him and begged him with my eyes to kiss me again, it was like I couldn’t get enough, not now not ever. I just wanted to feel him close to me all the time that was how I liked it best. That was how it felt like it was meant to be. Just me and him, close to each other.