“You know, there is something about you? I cannot put my finger on it. But one day I know I am going to marry you. One day you will be the mother of our fucking beautiful children. And one day we will look back at the mess we call childhood and we will laugh at how we thought it was going to affect us.”
Maybe, I should start from the beginning of the story. Then maybe you will actually understand everything.
Barely a teenager and you think you know everything. And trust me, when you grew up in the lifestyle I did, you are certain you know everything. Life didn’t come easy for you and you were always looking over your shoulder. You never were certain of anything. Home sucked and everywhere in between was a mess but you knew that there had to be something better out there.
“Hey, I’m Rico,” his tone was soft, his skin was dark, and he was just the prince you were looking for.
It was an October night with a warm bonfire and plenty of laughter. I wandered around looking for the potential customers to move product that I hadn’t long received when I bumped into him.
The whole world stopped when our eyes met and I swear to you, my heart stopped. I knew he was someone important but the way he held himself up. I knew he wasn’t one of the rich, white kids I needed to sell product to. His complexion proved he was like me, a Hispanic mixed up in a world of hurt.
“You don’t look like you belong here?” his eyes traveled my body.
“And I doubt your dark complexion places you here either?” I smirked, turning away from him.
The butterflies I was feeling in my stomach needed to go away along with the slight flush of my face. I was supposed to live by three rules in my line of work.
The first rule: don’t fall in love.
The second rule: don’t feel, become numb.
The third rule: don’t break the first two rules.
Selling drugs and moving them wasn’t always the plan. Maybe I should take you back a little bit further so you can better understand everything that is going on right now.
It’s 2000, and I am only six years old. I idolize my father and refuse to see any type of flaw within him. Until the night two detectives show up at the family door looking for my mother. They already have my father in custody and I guess lucky for me my mother wasn’t involved in his extracurricular activities.
It’s 2002 and I am waving goodbye to my father. Deportation was a word that would be burned into my memory forever.
A five letter word, something so small but it can ruin an entire family. Something that will tear you up inside and keep you up at night. They’ll take away everything you love in an instant and you don’t even have to be the user. None of us were the user. He, my father, just was a dealer. A dealer that had skill and probably never would have gotten caught if it hadn’t been for shady cops and injustice.
Now that you are somewhat caught up on the basics of the story let’s go back to the time of meeting Rico. October 2007 to be exact.
“Wait,” he grabbed my arm pulling me back and before I knew it I was face to face with him.
I could feel his warm breathe being released from in between his smooth lips. I could see the beads of sweat welling up on his forehead. I could feel every degree of warmth coming from his fingertips and being exerted onto the small of my back.
His hands had managed to go to my back and lock me away into his arms and I couldn’t move. Well, let me rephrase that. I could move but I was locked into his gaze. Staring into his soul as he stared into mine.
“What’s your name?” he asked, biting his lip.
I wanted to laugh but I couldn’t, mainly because I thought it would show a slight sign of weakness. Instead, I chose to shrug him off of me and just turn around.
It didn’t matter that I felt something from the second I looked into his eyes. It didn’t matter that I knew something beyond my control was going to happen once I felt his touch.
“Maria,” I smiled. “Enjoy the rest of your of your night Rico.”
I finally released myself from his grasp, pivoting on my right foot and walked away. I was expecting him to attempt to follow me but he did not. I walked all the way to the car I was illegally driving because of my age.
As I heard the engine roar signaling my ability to depart I looked up and saw Rico waving to me. He winked as I put the car into reverse and slowly left.