Goodnight, Love by JuliAugust
Well, you’ve been gone for exactly a year now. It’s crazy, as I sit here, on the side of your bed, to think that you’re not right next to me, hugging me and rubbing small circles into my back as I cry, because I really need to cry right now.
Word count: 1129
Well, you’ve been gone for exactly a year now. It’s crazy, as I sit here, on the side of your bed, to think that you’re not right next to me, hugging me and rubbing small circles into my back as I cry, because I really need to cry right now. Except for, I don’t have any tears left in my body. You were taken too early, Lou. Only 24. It’s insane to think that a drunk driver could take your life just like that. I was gonna finally tell you I loved you that night. I know that you told me you loved me way before I was ready. You were perfectly fine with it though. I wouldn’t have been though, I would have gone crazy on myself. (The thought makes me laugh.) Thank you for not going crazy on my arse, Louis.
In the past year, I really haven’t done much. The boys tried to get me back in public, that sort of backfired. The band broke up a couple months ago. Don’t feel bad though, Lou. It’s my fault, not yours. I still see Zayn sometimes, but Liam and Niall were in a fight right after they started going out, so they haven’t talked in almost a year. Wow, that’s crazy, Lou. You missed their first date. We bombarded the Irish lad with questions. Right after your death wasn’t a good time to start a relationship. We were all in kind of a suckish mood. I’m still in a suckish mood. I never really stopped being in a suckish mood kinda. The boys are proud of me for surviving 365 days without you here, but unfortunately for them, I won’t live to see the 366 day without you, Louis
Tonight, I need you to not look over me. Don’t keep me safe, like I know you’ve been doing this entire time. Tonight, let me get hurt. Bring me up to you, Louis. Let me be with you. I’m at your grave, Lou. There used to be all these flowers but people come to clean them up every day, so now there’s just a single rose. (It shouldn’t be a problem figuring out who that one’s from.) When I go home, which won’t be until dark because I want to sing you to sleep, I’m going to take an entire bottle of pills. Sure I’ll write the boys a note, Niall’s telling him to keep being irish, Liam’s asking him what the hell he’s doing and telling him to apologize to the blonde boy, and Zayn’s to congratulate him on the wedding. Did I tell you he was getting married, Louis? To Perrie, it’s going to be a beautiful wedding, maybe we can go together? We’ll work it out when I rejoin you. I’m gonna die tonight, Lou, and the boys will check up on me in the morning, like they always do. The only difference will be that instead of lies about me being fine and them forcing me to eat, they’ll find me dead. Sure they will be sad, but don’t worry about them. They’ll recover and move on with their lives. And I will move onto my life with you.
It’s getting darker, Lou. I can hear your wonderful sweet voice in my head, singing along to our favorite songs with me. I know it’s time, Lou. It must be. I’m going home now, but don’t be sad. I wish I never had to leave you, but after tonight, I’ll never have to again. I’ll be with you forever in Heaven, Lou. Singing with the angels, because I know you have the voice for it. You would have blushed at that. God, I miss your blush. Well I should probably end this really long letter. Just know that I’ll be there for you always. Whenever you need me, from this day on, I’ll be right by your side, whenever I need you.
I’m coming for you.
In the morning, when the boys went to check on Harry, they found him cold and lifeless on the bed, clutching a picture of Louis tightly around his chest. Zayn called the ambulance and Niall began to cry, so Liam took him in his own arms and rocked the Irish lad to try to comfort him. Even though they had barely touched each other in a year, it felt so right to be doing so. Finally, the paramedics arrived and checked over Harry. They did everything they could, but they couldn’t bring Harry back to life. He was proclaimed officially dead and given a death certificate and everything. For the other boys, it was kind of surreal. As Harry looked down at the situation, he almost felt the same way, until he felt his hand squeezed and he turned around and smiled because -fuck- Louis hasn’t aged a day.
“My death day was a lot sadder, Styles.” Louis says, sticking out his tongue and hitting Harry in the side somewhat. Harry just smiles.
“Nuh uh!” He retaliates, and then stops because he’s missed this witty banter that he used to have with Louis. His Louis. “I didn’t even cry this much.”
Now it’s Louis turn to smile and just as he’s about to reply, a horn sounds, but it’s not really an angry a sound. It’s more of a light fluttery sound, and that’s how everything sounds in Heaven. “Common, Haz. That’s us.”
“What’s that horn for?”
“Dinner.” Louis said. His eyes light up with excitement suddenly, and Harry’s breath sort of hitches in his throat because, yep, he’s definitely missed that sparkle that Louis has in his eyes when he gets really excited about something. “Imagine your mum’s best Sunday dinner and multiply it by ten. That’s how food tastes up here.”
“Wow. I’m gonna have to take cooking lessons.” Harry teases, to which Louis gives a toothy grin and shakes his head no.
“To me, your cooking has always tasted like that.” Louis said, and this time it’s Harry’s turn to reply when the second horn sounds, which Louis later tells Harry is the late bell, kind of like in highschool when you were late for classes. Louis squeezes Harry’s hand before dropping it and with a toothy grin, announcing, “Catch me if you can!”
Harry almost thinks he’s kidding before Louis breaks into a full on sprint and Harry starts chasing after him with a laugh and a call of, “Wait up!”
And so they run off into the start of forever, to eat mum’s Sunday dinner times ten, chase each other to supper, watch Zayn’s wedding and Niall and Liam’s second first date, and to sing with the angels.
After all, Harry’s always thought Louis’ had a voice like an angel.
Short but sweet aw:')