I'm feeling... Meh ! I've made two friends :D. The joker look a like and the 'abnormal poetry' man. I went to see my doctor person thing today ! I'm telling her I'm pregnant -.- I'm just nervous. I think. I got escorted to the doctory room , where they do all their doctory thing :)! "Hello Ms Tomlinson!" The tallish dark haired woman says as I enter the room. "Hi!" I practically whisper. "So , I hear you're pregnant ! I've got a pregnancy test for you. Tell me the results ?" She was so kind !
A/N- You may hate me for this. SPOILER ALERT: She loses the baby :(
I ran into my cell thingy crying. I can't believe I lost the baby ! Maybe I'm just too young ! I got to make some phone calls. I rang Louis and mum first. "Hi Louis. I'm not pregnant. Tell mum ? Love you bye!" I quickly hung up. I then rang Harry. "Hey HazzyBoo ! I'm not pregnant anymore. Love you , miss you !" I hung up. I ran outside to get some fresh air. I don't think I'm supposed to be out here , but it's just... I'm a little claustrophobic. Yup ! I hate being claustrophobic. In Benchball at school , in PE, I'm always last on the bench. Why ? Cause I'm claustrophobic ! I have to wait in long queues. Unfair ! People treat me like a... A thing ! I'm not a thing I'm just a person with a phobia of small spaces. I hate elevators , tunnels and sometimes escalators -.- yup ! I hate this stupid fear ! I don't even know if it's possible for me to join the army , I wouldn't be able to do the training because you crawl through a tunnel ! There probably is someone in the army that's claustrophobic. When we go back to school an get mentors and stuff , I'll choose a claustrophobic army person. I really want to join the army. While I'm on the subject , footballers get paid millions for kicking a ball ! People in the army get thousands and they risk their lives ! Anyways , I've decided to start thinking about what I want to do with my life. Do I want to join the army , or do I want to start a family ? I would like kids. I'd want a boy and a girl. Also the perfect husband , also known as Harry Styles ;).
I got my first visitor :D. It's Louis !!!!! I hugged him for about three minutes. "Louis you're really skinny , are you ok ?" I asked him. We sat down. He started to cry. "I miss you too much !" He bawled. Right word ? Yea ! I hugged him. "Don't worry , I'll be out of here soon. I just know it!" I reassured him. He wiped his tears away. I kissed him on the head. "I love you!" I whispered loudly. I tried to hold back the tears. "I love you too!" He barely whispered.
I woke up and looked at my clock. 01:15. Really ? I can't sleep anymore. It's uncomfortable. I hate this bed ! I drank some water out my glass. I keep hallucinating. I see Harry , all the time. Sometimes I dream of Louis. But in my dream he's dead. He always commits suicide in my dreams. I don't know why. I grabbed a little razor from under my pillow. I started digging it into my wrists. I let out a little yelp with a tear. Every time I cut myself , I think of how anorexic Louis is. How he probably blames me for it. I've only been here about two days !
I don't even think I want to be alive anymore.
I woke up to find Louis in my room. "Lou ?" I whispered. He pulled out a gun and shot me. I screamed. Why am I still here ? Lots of doctors ran in. "Am I dead?" I asked. They shook their heads. I'm hallucinating again. I lay my head down on my pillow. Why is this happening to me ? I can't take this anymore. I pulled my blankets over me. I just need a nap. That's all. A long nap. I need sleep. Eternal sleep. Forever.
I've been home for about two hours. Well , Louis's home. I can't stop thinking about poor Tori. I'm dying on the inside and outside. I think I need help. Psychiatrist help. Desperately.
A/N- Long chapter. Like it ? :)