13. To do.................
Niall lay on the couch and I saw that he hadn't bothered about his appearance in a long time. He had stubble, dirty shirt and he generally looked bad. I sat down on the couch at his feet and looked at him. I didn't want him to see me and I wanted to collect myself. I think I sat there for an hour before he got up. He went into the kitchen and retrieved a beer. Then he came back and the lad down on the sofa again. He opened the beer can and drank. I saw how he really didn't care about anything or anyone.
In the evening, he would go to bed. I saw him take off his clothes and he crawled naked under the covers. He lay down under the covers and I felt his sorrow, who it just ran away from him and in him. I was just leaving when I heard his voice. He whispered and he was hoarse.
"Good Night Hope!" he whispered. "I still don't know if you're here or if you hear me, but you can come back? Sorry I didn't tell the truth that day. I wanted to say that you may be the angel, if that's what you want to be, but don't disappearance out from my life. I love you so much and I want you to come back. I promise to be quiet and not to tell anything to the other, just you come back."
I stood at the waters edge and looked out over the lake. It was black and dark. I felt with the toes that it was cold, but I was determined to do it. I did it for my sake and for the Nialls sake. I walked slowly into the water and felt the cold took hold of me. I went out until the water reached my shoulders. Then I stopped and swallowed. I realized that now came the hard part and I wanted to die. I closed my eyes and took the last few steps into the water. The chill surrounded me totally and I could no longer breathe. I opened my mouth and let the water in to my lungs.