16. His house
Maura took care of me. I stayed with her right up until the funeral. Niall got a white coffin and the whole church was filled with mourners. I sat at the front and I kept my gaze fixed on Nialls coffin. It was covered with flowers and at the casket was a picture of a happy Niall, a living Niall. The priest began to talk about God, angels, and that Niall had come home. I knew he was right, but I have felt only anger. Was this really the point?
I still went back to London and to Nialls house. I had inherited all that he owned and had, yet I didn't want to keep it. I put the key in the lock and went inside. It was so empty. It was completely silent and I heard how the silence enveloped me. Slowly I walked into the kitchen and saw the set table. The roses had drooped over the vase rim. I chose to leave the kitchen and went into the bedroom. I saw Nialls one shirt lying on the bed and I instantly felt panic again. I went to the bed and took it in my hands. I took the shirt against my nose and smelled the smells that were left. It smelled Niall. It smelled of love and it smelled security.
"Why?" I got out of me and hoped that Niall was there. I hoped with all my heart that he would come back. I wanted to see him again, touch him and hug him. I wanted to hear his calm voice and I wanted him to say that it would work out.
"Everything got a predetermined path..."
I turned my head and saw Gabriel. He came up to me and he smiled reassuring.
"His path crossed yours and it was intended."
I cried and shook my head.
"I would grow old with him, I would live with him and I would take care of him. Why?"
Gabriel reached out his hands and he had no answer.
"God's ways are unique, we don't know why and we don't know when."
I sat down on the bed and I hugged Nialls shirt.
"Has he left me?"
I got no answer. Gabriel came to me and squatted down in front of me.
"Hope, you know how it works?"
I nodded, but somewhere inside me, I didn't realize the truth.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"If you had known, had you given him the days he got? Hope, it was destined and you just follow your true path."
"Was it worth it?" asked Martin one day. I nodded.
"I have no regrets, I got to experience true love and I'd do it again, just to be with Niall one single day."