There's no other person Holly loves more than Eli, even though at first she wants to hate him with every fiber in her being. Her teenage heart still lives inside her, sometimes when you're so in love you need to pause and just feel.


4. IV

Ribs by Lorde

The drink you spilt all over me
"Lover's Spit" left on repeat
My mum and dad let me stay home
It drives you crazy getting old

The drink you spilt all over me
"Lover's Spit" left on repeat
My mum and dad let me stay home
It drives you crazy getting old

This dream isn't feeling sweet
We're reeling through the midnight streets
And I've never felt more alone
It feels so scary getting old

We can talk it so good
We can make it so divine
We can talk it good, how you wish it would be all the time

This dream isn't feeling sweet
We're reeling through the midnight streets
And I've never felt more alone
Feels so scary getting old

This dream isn't feeling sweet
We're reeling through the midnight streets
And I've never felt more alone
Feels so scary getting old

I want them back (I want them back)
The minds we had (the minds we had)
How all the thoughts (how all the thoughts)
Moved round our heads (move round our heads)

I want them back (I want them back)
The minds we had (the minds we had)
It's not enough to feel the lack (I want them back, I want them back)
I want 'em

You're the only friend I need (you're the only friend I need)
Sharing beds like little kids (sharing beds like little kids)
And laughing 'til our ribs get tough (and laughing 'til our ribs get tough)
But that will never be enough (but that will never be enough)

You're the only friend I need (you're the only friend I need)
Sharing beds like little kids (sharing beds like little kids)
And laughing 'til our ribs get tough (and laughing 'til our ribs get tough)
But that will never be enough (but that will never be enough)

That will never be enough
That will never be enough
That will never be enough
That will never be enough
That will never be enough



“I can’t find my car keys,” I whined looking around under the bed.

“Here take mine,” Eric said throwing his keys at me.

“Thanks, you’re a lifesaver,” I said kissing him.

“You better get going unless you wanna be held back for awhile,” he said smirking against my mouth.

“When I get back,” I promised.

“I’ll be ready. How long do you think you’ll be gone?” he asked.

“Awhile, I was thinking I was going to visit Sam for a bit since she just had the baby,” I said smiling.

“Okay, take your time don’t worry,” he said smiling at me.

I rolled my eyes and went down the stairs and out the door unlocking the car in the process. It had been a little bit over a year since I had moved back and almost a year with Eric. I loved him dearly and had somewhat moved in awhile back. I still had most everything at Vic’s house, but slept here. I was thinking of moving in completely next month. I smiled as I parked in the grocery store parking lot. I locked the car and grabbed a shopping cart; he was in dire need of a pantry restocking. I went up and down the aisles looking for everything I needed. I was in the middle of filling up a plastic bag with apples when someone’s shopping cart bumped into my bum and sent my bag and apples flying.

“Hey watch it!” I scolded.

“We have to stop meeting like this,” he joked.

“Eli, what a nice surprise,” I said bending down to pick up my (or rather his) mess.

“Here I got it,” he said picking them up for me and handing them back.

“Thank you,” I said sincerely.

“Anytime, so how have you been?” he asked as he grabbed his own plastic bag and begun to fill it with Granny Smith apples.

“Really good, I might move in with Eric next month, what about you?” I said while wrinkling my nose at his choice of apples.

“That’s great! I’ve been good too. Stop making that face, they’re my favorite,” he said laughing and dropping them into his cart.

“Here are the green bell peppers,” an unfamiliar woman said dropping them into the cart as well.

“Oh, Sydney, this is my girlfriend Hannah,” he said wrapping his arm around her waist.

“Nice to meet you Hannah,” I said outstretching my hand.

“You too,” she said shaking my hand and giving me a warm smile.

“I’m a very old friend of Eli’s,” I said pretending to punch him in the arm.

“You guys were childhood friends right?” she asked.

“Yeah, he was such a little monster growing up,” I joked.

“I can believe that,” she said laughing.

“Well we have to get going, we have a dinner to cook,” Eli said taking the cart and wheeling away.

“He’s always in a hurry; well it was nice meeting you. You must come over sometime for dinner,” she offered.

“I will thanks so much. I’m actually headed to their parent’s old place to visit Sam,” I said.

“Her baby is just the cutest, but we won’t be having dinner there I’m afraid it’s going to be at Eli’s new place,” she said with an apologetic smile.

“No, its okay, maybe another day,” I said.

“Definitely,” she said before walking away.

I finished my shopping and drove to Sam’s house to see how see was doing. Her baby girl was the cutest I’d ever seen. She’d named her Lia; I thought her name was precious. We had some tea and she seemed so happy I was actually a little jealous. Soon enough I was on my way back home singing along to Charlie XCX’s new hit “Boom Clap”. I left the groceries in the car deciding to ask Eric for help unloading them.

“Eric?” I called out into what seemed like an empty house.

I looked around for a note which he usually left if he was gone. I went upstairs and heard movement in his or should I say our bedroom. I opened the door without thinking.

“Eric, I need help unloading the-“I froze.

Eric wasn’t in the bed, another woman was. I knew her from the hospital, she was his scrub nurse. Janette Roane. My breath was caught in my throat as he turned around and with wide eyes met my gaze. Eric came out of the bathroom wearing only a towel wrapped around his waist. He saw me in the doorframe and my heart stopped.

“Get out,” I said directing it towards Janette.

She hesitated and that only infuriated me more. I clenched my fists and pulled the cover to reveal her nude body; I picked up the pile of clothes and threw them at her.

“Get out of this house!” I screeched.

She finally got the message and ran out of the room and probably downstairs to change.

“I can’t believe the audacity you had to ask me how long I was going to be gone earlier. This is why you wanted to know, so you could fuck around with your scrub nurse?” I shouted.

“This isn’t how I wanted you to know,” he said.

“Then how? Over a lovely dinner with the three of us?” I yelled my heart wanting to leap from my chest.

“I didn’t want to hurt you,” he pleaded.

“Well too fucking bad, you just did. I came to what I thought was home to my loving boyfriend to find him in our bed with another woman and not just any woman his scrub nurse,” I said my voice cracking.

“I didn’t plan for you to be home so early,” he tried explaining.

That really showed me how stupid I was to trust him. I started packing and went into the bathroom to collect my things there. I threw it into the suitcase and closed it. I lifted the handle and pushed my way through the bedroom door and downstairs.

“At least let me help you,” he begged.

“I think you’ve done enough for today Eric,” I said his name sending a million little butterflies to flutter around in my stomach.

“Sydney,” he said.

I opened the front door and went to my car and put the suitcase in the trunk. I took a deep breath to keep myself from shattering into a million pieces there on his driveway.

I unlocked my door and was about to get in when he took me by the elbows and yanked me back to him.

“Can we still be friends?” he asked.

I knit my eyebrows together in anger. He yanked me back not to ask me if I was okay, or to say goodbye, but to ask if we could be friends. How ridiculous. I let out a sarcastic sounding laugh.

“No thanks,” I said pulling away from him and climbing into my car.

I drove out of his driveway the tears already blurring my vision. I pulled over a good couple miles from his house and let myself fall apart on the highway. I pounded at my chest, hating myself for being so weak. I shouldn’t cry for him, the time we spent was less than a year, why do I care so much? I didn’t want to ever care this much. I compromised the sanity of my emotions. I threw my head back and I so badly wanted to cut my heart out hoping that would give me some relief. He wanted to be friends? I lived with him for God’s sake. I had sex with him, we had thought ahead, thought about our future, sure not clearly but we did it anyway.

All our memories came rushing back. The first time I met him in school, when he was this awkward upperclassman, when he took me out on our first date to an ice-skating rink, when he first kissed me how it sort of sucked but I didn’t care because I liked him that much. How he would hold me and keep me from falling apart, or how he would show me off because he knew I secretly loved for him to let the world know I was his. He knew me or at least I thought he did. I wiped my eyes and sniffled before heading towards wherever my car took me. I ended up in Sam’s driveway.

I got out of the car and knocked on the door, tears falling more quickly knowing I could break apart here in safety. I tried to let out a deep breath but it only came out as a strangled cry. The door opened and I threw myself into the arms of who I thought was Sam.

“Hey, hey, whatever it is it’s okay now,” the voice said.

They took me inside and shut the door behind them softly. I sat on the couch continuing to be a blubbering mess.

“Hey,” he said.

“I-I’m sorry. I thought you were Sam,” I said not caring that my face was streaked with make-up and tears and probably snot.

“No, she’s not here,” he said sitting next to me.

“I thought you and Hannah were having dinner,” I said.

“Not anymore, she broke things off actually. She made me buy her groceries and then broke it off? It was really stupid, she said because I loved work more than I loved her, but really I don’t think I loved her at all,” he confessed.

“I’m sorry, did you tell Sam yet?” I asked forgetting my own relationship problems.

“No she’s off at a mommy and me class,” he said chuckling.

“The baby’s only like a month old,” I said letting out a forced laugh.

“Never too early for enrichment you know,” he said laughing.

“I’ll just come back when she’s home,” I said.

“No, please stay. You don’t look like you can drive right now,” he said honestly.

“No, I can’t, but I did drive myself here without getting into an accident didn’t I?” I retorted.

“Just stay. She’ll be back in an hour,” he said rubbing my back soothingly.

“Okay, just until she comes back,” I agreed my chest falling more rapidly with another pang of hurt.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked softly.

“I found Eric in our bed with his scrub nurse, and something tells me this wasn’t the first time,” I said bitterly.

“Oh,” he said.

“He said he that wasn’t the way he wanted to let me know, and he pulled me back literally to ask me only if we could be friends,” I said.

“I’m so sorry it happened to you darling,” he whispered.

“How could I have been so stupid, they were right in front of my face and I never knew until now,” I said leaning back against the couch.

“Sometimes things just don’t work out, and that’s no excuse for cheating but people drift apart and stop really talking and loving, and instead of becoming closer the more you talk you really grow farther apart,” he explained while leaning back with me.

“He meant a lot you know, and I don’t want to be weak and feel,” I confessed.

“You’re not weak for feeling the way you do, and he’s not weak for feeling the way he does. Sure that makes him an asshole, but not weak,” he tried.

I put a hand over my eyes in an attempt to stop crying. I shouldn’t feel this way; I shouldn’t have gotten so involved with him. I thought about this being my fault, was it something I did or said?

“It’s been a long day, and I’m sure you’re tired. Why don’t you spend the night, you can take the guest bedroom,” he said breaking the silence.

“Okay, thanks. Can you just get my suitcase out of my car?” I asked throwing him the keys.

He nodded and I sat there in silence. One night couldn’t hurt could it? I honestly didn’t care anymore. I slid out my phone and texted Victoria, my most trusted work friend explaining the situation. Her angry responses made me feel a little more lighthearted. Eli came back with suitcase and motioned for me to follow him upstairs.

“Here’s the guest room, settle in? I really don’t know what to say besides why don’t you join me for dinner?” he said giving me a small smile.

“Let me just clean up and compose myself,” I said stepping into the room.

“I’ll see you downstairs no later than 7 pm darling,” he said winking before shutting the door to his room next to mine.

I looked around the room. It wasn’t like when we were younger. The walls were now a light blue, and the wooden floors a dark rich brown. The French doors led to a small balcony that overlooked the city lights and the private beach we grew up on. I went into the shower and let myself fall into small pieces with no restrictions; I knew it was a step towards forgetting, but certainly not forgiving, not yet anyway.

Eli and I had a nice dinner and Sam texted him saying she was taking the baby to their mom’s and spending the night there with John. We spent our entire night watching old movies and reminiscing all the memories made in this house, always carefully avoiding our personal memories. I had tears running down my cheeks as I let myself crumble in Eli'r arms.

Growing up was getting old.

(Hey! Well this is a bummer for you who shipped Eric & Holly, what an asshole. This actually happened to me which sucks, and to any of you who were cheated on, it does get better with time. Just remember you will find your Eli! Or Holly whatever you’re in to (: But sorry I edited the last chapter I thought it sucked. Please vote, like, and comment! Your comments make my day so please do it! Much love. –Vic Xx)

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