It's late . Everyone's asleep, except for me. I can't stop thinking about Zayn and that kiss...and my feelings...and getting hurt...again. I can't do this. I can't. It's not just me and it's not an excuse. First Harry, then Niall, now Zayn. I do have feelings for Zayn, they're overwhelming. Frightening. I haven't had them in such a long time. They make me anxious. I can't let this happen. It'll only lead to disappointment and heart ache. I know it. Look at him, he could have anyone he wants, anyone at all... Any of them could. They're all sweet and good looking and young, with no baggage. And I'm me, I'm nothing. There's only one thing I'm good at and that's being Lexi's mom. That's it. I throw the last of my thing's in my bag and run into Lexi's room, frantically opening drawers and chucking her things into my bag as well. My heart aches, my tears flow, my hands shake. We have to leave. Tonight. Now.
"Alexis...", I whisper, giving her a shake.
"Mom?", she answers, me groggily.
"Sshh, c'mon honey. We need to leave", I say, picking her up in my arms.
"Why?", she whispers.
"Sshh!", I say, again. My bag in one hand and Lexi in my arms, I run downstairs and grab my purse. I push the button for the garage door from inside the house, wrap a blanket around Alexis and make a mad dash for my car.
"Mom it's cold...", Lexi says.
"I know it is baby...", I say, as I desperately search the garage for my keys. "Dammit Zayn, where are they?", I shout to myself.
"I don't want to go mom!", Lexi screams.
"We have to go Lexi!", I sob, setting her down on the trunk of my car to continue my search.
"Why are you doing this?", she screams.
"You'll understand when you're older..."
"No!", she screams jumping down off the trunk and running out into the cold night.
"Alexis! Come back!", I shout running after her. She darts into the woods that surround the property as I run to catch up. I don't see the patch of black ice in the middle of the driveway and before I know what's happening my feet fly out from underneath me. A resounding crack fills my ears as my head connects with the pavement beneath me. "Alexis...", is the only word I'm able to whisper before darkness swallows me whole, plummeting me into a world of nothingness.
I can't sleep. Try as I might, it's just not happening. I can't stop thinking about Faith and that kiss. It was incredible. I know she feels it. When we touch it's like a jolt of electricity passing between us. I don't know how to make her trust me though. She's so guarded. She's built up these huge walls around her heart and I don't know if I'll be able to tear them down. The expression on her face tonight after that kiss was so, torn and conflicted. I know she liked it, but she won't admit it. Not to me or to herself. I need a drink. I pull a pair of jeans on over my briefs and head for downstairs. As I'm passing by Lexi's room my heart aches as I remember the look on her face when her father walked out on her for the second time. She's to little to know this much pain. I crack open her door and step inside just to check on her. I squint my eyes trying to adjust my sight in the darkness. I run my hand along the blankets and realize the bed is completely empty. Running to the light on the wall by the door, I flip the switch on. "No! Faith!", I shout, bolting through the bathroom to her room. Empty. I open the dresser drawers...empty...except the clothes we bought her, they're still here. I quickly run across the hall to my room frantically looking for the keys I had hidden there. Her keys. "HARRY!", I shout running back out into the hall. "NIALL!", I shout again. Everyone emerges into the hall, rubbing very sleepy confused, eyes. "She's gone! She took Alexis and left!", I shout frantically.
"Good riddance, I say!", Louis snaps, and before I even process what I'm doing I throw a punch, which lands squarely against his jaw, sending him reeling back and into the wall. Harry and Niall are on me in seconds. Liam helps Louis to his feet. "What the hell, mate!", Lou shouts at me.
"Don't ever talk like that about them again!", I shout, my hands still balled up into fists.
"Calm down!", Liam shouts at both of us.
"I still have her keys, they couldn't have gone far..."
"It's freezing outside!", Harry says.
"Let us throw on some clothes, we'll meet you downstairs in a minute... A couple of us can go by foot and a couple of us can go in the car...", Liam says.
"Okay," I mutter, storming off downstairs. My heart is beating a mile a minute and horrible thoughts are running through my head. I did this. I pushed to far, to fast and she bolted. This is all my fault. I grab my jacket and pull on some sneakers. The lads are down within seconds.
"Sorry mate...I didn't mean it...", Louis mumbles. I nod without meeting his gaze. I can't. I'm still too pissed off. We make our way outside, and gasp at the chill in the air.
"The garage is open!", Niall shouts as we all run inside.
"She was looking for her keys. Her bag is here by the trunk. It has all her stuff in it and Lexi's too!", Harry says, kneeling down, unzippering the bag and having a look through. Now I'm really panicking, she wouldn't just leave her things behind. Where's Alexis. What if someone took them. What if Ben came back and took them. My pulse is racing as I run outside.
"FAITH! ALEXIS!", I shout loudly.
"Sshh, I think I hear something!", Harry snaps. I can hear it too. Crying.
"ALEXIS?!", we all shout together.
"Zayn!", Lexi cries from the woods. I run over and pick her up in my arms. She's trembling and near frozen.
"Where's your mom?", I ask.
"I don't know...She wanted to leave. I didn't, so I-I ran away from her... She was chasing me and then she wasn't...", Alexis cries.
"Get her inside and warm her up...", I say, handing her over to Liam. I scan the woods then back to the garage and over the driveway. I squint again as a shadow begins to take shape before my eyes. "No!", I gasp running towards her. I know it's her, before I even get to her. "Call an ambulance!", I shout, as I kneel down next to her. Gently I pull her up into my arms and hold her. Her arms are limp and cold and blood oozes from a gaping wound on the back of her head. Oh my god, what have I done...