“I SWEAR ON MY LIFE I’M GONNA KILL HIM!!!!!!”
I practically yelled while slamming my now empty glass on the table. After school Roxy took up the offer I gave her yesterday of taking her out to eat, we were currently at her favorite little cafe in the shopping district. Ever since this morning when Kia basically admitted his feelings to me, about me to the whole class I’ve been saying the same sentence. I do feel bad cause I don’t even know how many times I’ve said it to her, she most likely sick of hearing it. But I’m not in the wrong for wanting to kill him, who wouldn’t wanna.
“Come on you don’t think it wasn’t the least bit cute? Cause I thought it was adorable. And as much as I love you, I don’t wanna visit my best-friend in the Big House.”
“Fine then I’ll punch again, and give him another shiner. And no I didn’t think it was cute, I thought it was utterly mortifying!!"
Crossing my arms I placed my head in them and bopped my head on the table. “He truly is an idiot!!” I mumbled to Roxy, she just patted my head while agreeing with me. I don’t even know what to do, I don’t even know if I can reciprocate my feelings to him. My head and heart are so mixed up and confused. Why would he do something like that? I was supposed to mad at him for doing what he did, and now I’m even more confused about it all. While still equally pissed at him. Him and Rei make me so confused, do I like them as just friends or something more? And know knowing how he feels what am I gonna do when I see him now. I see everyday basically from the moment I leave my apartment and to the moment I get home. And then I have to figure out how Rei feels about Kia admitting his feelings to me… In front of him nonetheless.
“AGHH MY HEAD HURTS!!!!!”
“Well having to deal with all that, I’d be shocked if your head wasn’t hurting.”
I looked up to Roxy with a confused look on my face, holding up a finger she was sucking down the rest of her smoothie. “You basically said that whole dialogue out loud.” She told me. I didn’t say all of it, but she got the gist of it. I really need to stop doing that. She didn’t really know what to say too me except; “Just go with your heart.” If only if knew how it felt itself.
While leaving the cafe Roxy had leave quick to pick up her little brother from his after school program. But before she left she gave me a big hug and whispered in my hear: “You’ll figure it out, you’re a smart girl Avah.” I was wracking my brain to figure out where I heard that from. I just kept waking around the shopping district with no destination in particular, I suddenly stopped in my spot when I heard a loud deep manly voice yell out my name. Turning around made me wish I hadn’t when I saw who it was. Running through the minimal crowd making his way towards me I turned about and started walking, praying he would fall on his face an lose sight of me. But my dreams were scrapped when he grabbed my hand and engulfed me in a hug.
“Oh Avah I’m glad to have caught up to you. And see you!!!”
His silk tie was rubbing against my cheek, and it had a faint smell of a women's perfume and slight cigar smell to it. His had one hand placed on my head and the other rubbing up and down my back. I automatically thought back to when Yamato did that when I had my break down in his office. His soothing felt so much different then this mans. This man had no right to do this. He never did anything like this when I was a child, hell he was never really around when I was little.
“Let go of me!!”
I said pushing him away from me. He looked almost shocked that I did such a thing. Not only has he been trying to play the doting father role, but he also has the scent of a women's perfume on him. Just because he’s across the globe doesn’t mean he still isn’t married to my mom. Even when he was never home she never once cheated on him. I wondered how long he’s been cheating on my mom. I was pissed. I didn’t particularly care what he’d done.. or not done what he’s done to me. But cheating on my mom is a different story. Squinting my eyes closed, and clutching my hands digging my nails into my palms I wanted to hit this man that dare calls himself my father. For a while when I first came here I was almost hoping a bit to fix our relationship but it never happened. He would makes plans to bring me out to dinner or to the movies, even shopping but he never came through. Never called to apologize for not making it, or called or texted me saying he was gonna be late. I would be waiting in Grannys office for him looking like a fool waiting for him. But then one night he did call me to tell me he wasn’t gonna make it and I heard a women on his end of the line. She was giggling and telling him to “Come over here.” After I heard that I just hung up on him. I never answered his calls after that. Then he showed up one day last week and that's when I got into a huge fight with him.
“AVAH OPEN UP!!! It’s daddy!!!”
He yelled while banging on my door. He’d been out there for a few minutes already. I couldn’t even pretend to not be home cause my TV was on. I hated doing homework without something playing.
“Avah I know you’re home, just let me in. Please.”
He was pleading. Suddenly sounding sad. It was getting on my nerves.
“WHY SHOULD I?!?!”
“Cause I’m your dad and I need to talk to you!!”
That was it I was pissed getting up from my desk I stormed to the door and pulled it open. He was standing there his normally perfect suit was all haphazard, he had a faint mark or red lips placed on his cheek. When he stepped close to me I could smell the perfume as well.
“So you ditched your daughter, AGAIN, to play tonsil hockey with some broad?!”
“Let me explain Avah, please.”
I yelled at him. I was on the verge of tears from pure anger, and being a bit sad I’ll admit.
“You have no place to try to explain ANYTHING to me. Was it the same women as the OTHER time to said you couldn’t make it?”
He just stared at me with shock. Almost praying I hadn’t heard anything that time I bet.
“Oh yeah I heard her. Maybe I should call ma and tell her. You remember her don’t you?! The women who’s ALWAYS been faithful to you!! Don’t worry about me I’ll be fine. Just keep your promise to her that you’ll pay for my schooling and my apartment and I won’t tell her that the man she’s been with since high school is cheating on her!!”
Taking a step closer to me he faintly said my name while trying to reach his hand out to me. I put my hand up protested his advances.
“Do me a favor and just stop. Stop trying to play the doting father, stop trying to fix this. Cause it’ll never be fixed. Don’t call me anymore, and don’t come here anymore.”
As I closed the door I heard him say on the other side of the door ‘I’m sorry Avah.’ The sound of his shoes on the stairs soon followed.
After what happened last time he had the audacity to come up to me and hug me like nothing happened. And whats worse he smells like the perfume as well. I wanted to him him, punch him, yell at him. For every thing he’s done and haven’t done.
“Avah please listen to me!! That women, I’m through with her. We’re not together anymore!! I’ll be a better father to you, I’ll be a better husband to your mom. Just hear me out!!”
“NO!!!! I DON’T WANNA HEAR ANYTHING!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!!”
Not together anymore, yea right. Then why is your suit messed up, you smell like her perfume, you have kiss marks on your cheeks and neck. It’s like last week all over again. How could I ever trust a thing you’ve said!! Before I actually was about to hit him I was starting to turn around but he grabbed my hand. I was getting ready to pull my right arm back to hit him across his face when someone grabbed both of our hands and pulled them apart. I didn’t even have to look up to know who it was. The familiar cigarette some, the distinct cologne, with a slight smell of beer fused together. Looking up brown hair tossed over his shoulder, a cigarette hanging off his lips, an actual 5 o’clock shadow, his square glasses catching the evening sun off of them for just a moment, and his green eyes shining brightly.
“If I’m not mistaken I believe the little lady asked you to not touch her. But here you go grabbing onto her still blabbing on while she clearly doesn’t wanna hear what you have to say!! As a passerby, and an adult I don’t condone violence in front of children let alone girls. Especially a beautiful girl like this one. So before I do something BOTH of us will regret please evacuate the area NOW, sir.”
Although his words were respectful his tone was the exact opposite. He was clearly angry about the scene in front of him, his eye showed he was angry, his body language as well. He was standing in the middle of us and his left hand on my side was in the form of a fist. He wanted to punch him. Instead of smoking the cigarette in his mouth he was lightly biting down on the butt of it and rolling it between his teeth.
“If it’s any of your concern, which it isn’t, this little lady as you say is my daughter so I have every right to talk to her!! So as a passerby as you say you were, please continue on passing by!!”
“With all due respect SIR, I can’t do that. Especially when it involves someone I’m involved with. So with that SIR, we’ll be going now!! Avah let’s go.”
I was just stunned. He let my dads arm go and swung his left arm around my shoulder and started leading us past my dad who was just standing there not moving and silent for once. Did that just happen?! I was gonna turn my head around to see what he was doing but Yamato told me not to; “If you do, it’ll give him hope. And then everything I just did will be wasted.” I didn’t want that. He was really cool, and a bit attractive. But I couldn’t say that. And when he swung his arm around me I could have sworn my heart speed up a bit. I grabbed onto his hand that was hanging from my shoulder, he quickly turned to look at me. I smiled at him and said thanks. He closed his eyes and smiled back at me and laughed a bit. Am I falling for my teacher?!?! No, he’s the father figure I never had. Maybe that just made me a bit happier that normal. As we were walking up the street leaving the chiming of the bells of the shop doors follow after us, it was a bit calming.
A familiar voice calling me soon rang through my ears, turning around I was met with shining blue eyes starting back at me with confusion written on his. OH COME ON!! It’s official I have the worse luck. Yamato removed his arm from me, patted me on the shoulder “I leave this to you kid, good luck.” And just like that he left me to explain it all by myself. My life never ceases to amaze me, it’s always interesting.