38. Funeral Day.
Today was the day. I put on a black dress and didn't even care if I didn't have makeup on. I dressed the Lil and Lisa the same way. "Where are we going?" Lil asked. "To see mommy." I said. They were so happy. But, little kids like Lilianna and Lisa would never understand. "Ready to go?" I asked Jamie. Jamie hugged me. "Yeah." I took Lilianna's and Lisa's hand. "We see mowwa?" Lisa asked while skipping around. I sighed and kissed her on the head. "Yes Lisa."
I got out of the car and picked up Lisa and held Lilianna's hand. I walked slowly down the path of flowers, still wishing this was a dream. Lilianna didn't look confused anymore, she ran up to a woman, it looked like Arianna. She was definitely Arianna's sister. I went through the crowd and into the front of the crowd. I couldn't breath again. She was really gone. I had a bunch of flowers in my hand and I whispered to Lilianna, "Go put this on the top of the box, mommy likes flowers." She wouldn't understand what the real name for it was so I said 'box'.
She walked slowly holding the flowers. She placed them on the top and stared at the picture of her, Lisa, and Arianna and turned to me. "Mommy's in here?" She asked. "Yes." I cried. "Why is she hiding?" She giggled trying to open the lock. "Sweetie, Mommy's not hiding." I put my head on Jamie's shoulder. "Mommy, come out. It's me. Lilybear." She knocked on it. "Lil." I cried. "Mommy. Come out. I miss you." She cried. "Lil come here." I whispered. She didn't listen. "Mommy. You promised you would take me to the park." She knocked again. I started to bawl. I went up to her and went on my knee. "Look at me." I said crying. She ignored me and tried to break the lock. "Lilanna." I said. The crowd got emotional. Arianna's sister helped me out. "Hey. Hey." She whispered. Tears rushing down her face. "Mommy is gone." She cried. "No. Mommy is just joking." Lilianna tried to break free. "No. She's really gone. She's with the angels." I said. Lilianna looked up at the sky. "Up there?" She cried. I smiled. "Yes baby. Up there." She calmed down. She kissed the coffin. "I love you Mommy. We will play in the park together someday else. Get your rest." She cried and hugged me. Lisa came running and she hugged the coffin.
The crowd was crying. "Anyone want to say goodbye speech?" The priest asked. I walked up. "I do." I wiped my tears. I looked at the coffin and took a deep breath. "Arianna was the sweetest person anyone can ever meet. Some people may of not liked the way she liked her own gender. But I understood that because I'm just like her. She was a great mom. Arianna was that type of person that you would never stay mad at. She would always leave me good morning videos and video diaries on my phone. And I will never ever delete those. If I was down she would always bring me back up. One day we split for a while. I still liked her a lot. I saw her two years later and she kissed me and she told me to enjoy it because it will be the last one forever... She was leaving somewhere. She always made me her special brownies. She was never mad. She was so sweet and caring about everyone." I grabbed a tissue. I couldn't stop crying but I went on anyway, "At the end you never say goodbye to anyone. You say see you soon." I looked at the coffin. "See you soon baby girl. I love you. Arianna Pires." It started to rain. I kissed the coffin. I placed a picture of us on top of the flowers. "Forever." I whispered. Everyone started to leave. "If you hear me Arianna, I will never forget you. I promise. I love you." I whispered to the coffin. Jamie hugged me tight. I fell on my knees and Jamie kept hugging me. "Why did this happen to me?" I cried. "Don't cry Anna. She's always with you, remember that."