Hermione Granger and the It's-LeviOSa-not-Leviosaaa

Hermione Granger's perspective of Harry Potter and the Philosephers Stone. Made for laughs. :)
© 2014
Great inspiration from Draco Malfoy and the Rejected Handshake by Mirlotta, Nightstar13, Lunallamabrianappleshine and Mohogany Pumpkin.<------fan them and read their movellas! :D


15. A Game Of Chess

Wizards chess is soooo much different to muggle chess! Like seriously... wow! It's even more different in the life size version, and VERY DANGEROUS! I so hope my mum bought that kid insurance... whatever - it's their loss. But then I'll be leaving Alex and Lily behind! What will they do without TIO???

Anyway, the room is super freaky and all dark and dungeony... cobwebs are covering Alex ALL OVER!!! They wont come out!!! WHY??? I spotted that behind the chess set is a door, so very TIOishly, I pointed it out, "Look - there's the door." Both Ron and Harry looked at me like I was a genius... well, because I am... Ron's dreamy eyes looked at mine... SHUT UP!

So, yeah, we just walked over but these stupid short guys stopped us with their stupid swords! They think that they're waaaayyy better than us - I mean really? They think they're better than TIO? (And of course the Chosen One...)


Sorry, Ron just disturbed my writing time by saying that we need to play, and I've NEVER played before... oh bloody hell!!! Harry's taking the bishop square, I'm the Queen's side castle (only because the Queen wasn't free... obviously... I mean, I was BORN to be the Queen!), and my hero Ron is a KNIGHT!!! Wow... Maybe when we win (because Ronnie's AMAZING at chess, so we will) he'll take me on his stone horse and together we'll ride off into the distance... he'll take my hand, cup my face and... SHUT UP!!!

Curiously, I ask Ron if it's going to be like real wizards chess but rather rudely he BLANKS me! wtf? He just continues playing... Now there's dust all over my book as the other team killed our player! STUPID RON! But I love him... <3 And he's just answered my question, "I think it's going to be just like wizards chess."

Hopefully I won't die :)

There's sooo much more dust I mean I CANNOT see my pages anymore!!! It's super annoying - oh no!!!! PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAASSEEE! The Queen's just turned to Ron! NOOO! He's giving a speech - Ron's going to risk himself for me! (And Harry...)

"No you can't - there must be another way!" I say. He doesn't listen though... what a true knight he is! He's moved and the Queen's turned towards his new position - H3. She's stabbed the horse and Ron's fell off!!!!!!

I tried to run and help him but stupid Harry STOPPED ME! He's my potential future husband for goodness sake! He's moved to his position now though and we've won the game! YAY! But Ron... I've gone to help him whilst Harry's continuing so when Ron wakes up and knows what I've done he'll instantly fall in love with me :)

Who wouldn't?

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