Reading Your Own Life

Harry has just been attacked by Dementors, he wants to know what is going on and why people are ignoring him. When he gets a letter though, it isn't what he expects. It seems to be from the future! Not only that, but Harry now has to read the Harry Potter books where all his secrets will be revealed.


7. The Letters From No One

“THE LETTERS FROM NO ONE”, read Luna is her usual dreamy voice.

“The escape of the Brazilian boa constrictor earned Harry his

longest-ever punishment.”


Remus frowned and turned to Harry. “How long does that mean?”, he asked

Harry shrugged and thought for a moment before replying, “About a month. I think.” He then glared slightly at his shoes. If there was one thing Harry hated, it was pity.


 By the time he was allowed out of his cupboard”


Sirius and Remus exchanged a glance then glared slightly and Dumbledore who was avoiding everyone’s gaze.


“again, the summer holidays had started and Dudley had already broken his

new video camera, crashed his remote control airplane, and, first time

out on his racing bike, knocked down old Mrs. Figg as she crossed Privet

Drive on her crutches.”


Dudly flushed slightly and narrowed his eyes at the judgemental looks he was receiving. It wasn’t his fault that the author of this book made him out to be spoilt and a bully. He wasn’t like that really! Was he?


“Harry was glad school was over, but there was no escaping Dudley's gang,

who visited the house every single day. Piers, Dennis, Malcolm, and

Gordon were all big and stupid, but as Dudley was the biggest and

stupidest of the lot, he was the leader.”


Most people laughed at this, even Luna paused her reading to smile.

“Oh Harry”, said Hermione, “Only you could come up with that sort or logic”

Harry wasn’t sure if this was a compliment or not, so decided to nod vaguely and smile. The Dursleys on the other hand, where sitting upright and had indignant expressions on their faces. Dudley wasn’t stupid!


 “The rest of them were all quite

happy to join in Dudley's favorite sport: Harry Hunting.”


Sirius leaned forward at this, “Harry? What do you mean ‘Harry hunting?”

Harry looked up at him and shrugged. He didn’t really want to talk about his childhood; it was none of their business anyway. Sirius didn’t look satisfied, but he leaned back anyway and gestured for Luna to keep on reading.


“This was why Harry spent as much time as possible out of the house,

wandering around and thinking about the end of the holidays, where he

could see a tiny ray of hope. When September came he would be going off

to secondary school and, for the first time in his life, he wouldn't be

with Dudley. Dudley had been accepted at Uncle Vernon's old private

school, Smeltings. Piers Polkiss was going there too. Harry, on the

other hand, was going to Stonewall High, the local public school. Dudley

thought this was very funny.”


The twins shook their heads and said mournfully, “Oh Harry. If only you knew…”


"They stuff people's heads down the toilet the first day at Stonewall,"

he told Harry. "Want to come upstairs and practice?"

"No, thanks," said Harry. "The poor toilet's never had anything as

horrible as your head down it -- it might be sick." Then he ran, before

Dudley could work out what he'd said.


Luna had to stop reading there as everyone burst into laughter; even Draco had to smile at that. Once people had calmed down a little, Sirius spoke up, “Oh Harry, I didn’t know you had it in you! We’ll make you into a marauder yet”

Ron raised an eyebrow and asked, “Blimey Harry, why aren’t you this funny at school?”

Harry didn’t bother to point out that he usually had to run away from murderers at school and settles for just shrugging again, not noticing the worried glance Remus gave him as he did so.


“One day in July, Aunt Petunia took Dudley to London to buy his Smeltings

uniform, leaving Harry at Mrs. Figg's. Mrs. Figg wasn 't as bad as

usual. It turned out she'd broken her leg tripping over one of her cats,24

and she didn't seem quite as fond of them as before. She let Harry watch

television and gave him a bit of chocolate cake that tasted as though

she'd had it for several years.”


Tonks pulled a face at this, “Well that was… nice of her!?” Whilst Remus looked appalled at the waste of chocolate.


“That evening, Dudley paraded around the living room for the family in

his brand-new uniform. Smeltings' boys wore maroon tailcoats, orange

knickerbockers, and flat straw hats called boaters.”


Surprising it was Bill who spoke up this time, “If I had to wear that, I think I’d leave!”

Even Harry had to snigger at the memory of the uniform, whilst Dudley slouched down slightly and tried to make himself seem smaller.


 “They also carried

knobbly sticks, used for hitting each other while the teachers weren't

looking. This was supposed to be good training for later life.

As he looked at Dudley in his new knickerbockers, Uncle Vernon said

gruffly that it was the proudest moment of his life. Aunt Petunia burst

into tears and said she couldn't believe it was her Ickle Dudleykins, he

looked so handsome and grown-up.”


There was a moment of silence before someone started sniggering which set everyone off. Petunia sat oblivious and was tearing up again, obviously thinking about the moment. Seeing as Harry hadn’t been allowed to laugh in the past, he now let it out and started laughing hysterically.


“Harry didn't trust himself to speak. He

thought two of his ribs might already have cracked from trying not to



Harry quietly chuckled to himself again.


“There was a horrible smell in the kitchen the next morning when Harry

went in for breakfast. It seemed to be coming from a large metal tub in

the sink. He went to have a look. The tub was full of what looked like

dirty rags swimming in gray water.”


Draco wrinckled his nose, ‘stupid muggles with their weird traditions’, he thought savagely.


"What's this?" he asked Aunt Petunia. Her lips tightened as they always

did if he dared to ask a question.”


Hermione huffed loudly, “If he can’t ask questions how on earth is he suppose to learn?”


"Your new school uniform," she said.

Harry looked in the bowl again.

"Oh," he said, "I didn't realize it had to be so wet."


Snape raised an eyebrow at this, the nearest expression to amusement that he could make.


"Don’t be stupid," snapped Aunt Petunia.”


“I don’t think they understand sarcasm”, Harry commented.


"I'm dyeing some of Dudley's old

things gray for you. It'll look just like everyone else's when I've



A few people chose this moment to glare angrily at Dumbledore. Molly shook her head sadly, even though she didn’t have much money, she wouldn’t do something like this, “Oh Harry”

Harry chose to look at the floor again as he could feel his cheeks heating up. He really did hate sympathy he decided to himself.


“Harry seriously doubted this, but thought it best not to argue. He sat

down at the table and tried not to think about how he was going to look

on his first day at Stonewall High -- like he was wearing bits of old

elephant skin, probably.”


Hermione chuckled slightly, “Really Harry?”


Dudley and Uncle Vernon came in, both with wrinkled noses because of the

smell from Harry's new uniform.”


All four residents did this now as they remembered the awful smell. It had lingered for ages.

 Uncle Vernon opened his newspaper as

usual and Dudley banged his Smelting stick, which he carried everywhere,

on the table.

They heard the click of the mail slot and flop of letters on the



Everyone sat up a little straighter here apart from Harry.

“Oh”, said Ginny, “You get your Hogwarts letter?!”

Harry slowly shook his head, “Sort of Ginny”, but didn’t explain any more.

Ginny opened her mouth to ask more, but was cut across by Remus, “Luna, would you mind if I read for a bit?”

Luna dreamily nodded and passed the book over, “It was getting a bit depressing to read anyway.”

She got a few funny looks for saying this, but the attention was soon on Remus as he had found the right page and had started reading.



A.N: Well, there you go! An update at last. Sorry it's so short, I've completely lost motivation for this story, but thought I was force myself to update as a few people have been waiting. I wouldn't mind co-authoring it was someone if anyone is interested. If not, then you might just have to wait for another year or so for an update.... I'll try my best okay!

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