7. Thestrals Are My Very Best Friends (by Ray Grayglory)
WHEW! Man, Ray! I can't WAIT to see where this story goes. It was- let me tell you- INCREDIBLE! I have never read a cooler sounding story. It was actually HARD to come up with bad things to say about it, it was that good.
Only one thing I have to say- you sound like a Harry Potter copycat at times. Don't get me wrong- J. K. Rowling is one of the GREATEST fantasy novelists since C. S. Lewis. But you sound like you took her ideas- mainly when you say "I watched my parents die..." and stuff- and wrote them down, flatly.
So, just add some of your own flair! Give Myra a bit of flair! Give her a personality, a consciousness, a play-by-play thought-and-emotion process! Add your own touch.
Also... leave the personal notes out of it. Personally, I HATE it when authors do that. Because I read a book to be able to escape reality, and believe, even just for a moment, that I am that character, that it is real and that I'm there. But when you put in your own notes... it makes it feel like you shatter that image, you break character, you destroy the fantastical world, by bringing reality into it. So if you have something to say, mumble it or comment it. Don't put it in the books.
All this to say- wow. You are amazing. I can't wait to see where this goes!
Now! The fun part- I get to unveil my MASTERPIECE! -The covers! Yay! I made two different types, with a variation of one type. So there's three to choose from. Have fun!
I hope you like them! I worked hard on them. (So don't forget to credit me!)