3. Free Falling (by MadGirlinWonderland)
Okay, MadGirl. I made the cover, but the minute I checked you Movella, I saw that you'd had one made before me! I am going to show you the cover anyway, and you can keep it or change it out, either way I am fine. The one you had is nice, but this one at least has the TARDIS and the galaxy background. Let me know what you think! I also used the same green-haired girl in mine. Sorry, but it was the best one there was! So take it or leave it, I don't care. I worked hard and all I want is your opinion.
Before I show you it, though, I'd like to say some things about your Movella. You only have a prologue so far. And I can see your talent shining through. However, I can also see that you are jumping right into an action scene. That's okay, but especially in first person, the characters need to be a bit more into it. Instead of saying flatly, "I heard someone falling," say something a bit more mysterious and dramatic, like "I heard the sounds of screaming and rushed to the window to see what was going on. Unfortunately, the lights went black before I could." (Go ahead, make it mysterious!) Don't tell your audience what's happening, show them! Also, give your character feelings. Right now she's as emotionless as a brick, or better yet, Bella from Twilight! Use detailed descriptions. Use words that pull your audience in (like "frigid" instead of "cold," or "loquacious" instead of "wordy." Also, find someone (like me) that is good at grammar to edit your work. That pulls in not only a more mature crowd but the attention of a publisher and contests, as well. Poor grammar is a sign of lack of care.
Now, the boring part is over, time to get the goods! Let me know what you think. Be honest! The more constructive criticism, the better!
I couldn't find enough good pictures to make more than one. Sorry... but I hope you like it! I worked hard on it. I hope you come again for your next Movella. I can't wait to read more!