I sigh while watching her smile. Her eyes lighting up, excited and nervous. This is her day. A day I will never experience for my self. That security, knowing someone will always love you and never leave your side. I sit here watching her moment. Not a single bit of jealousy...just pity for my self. All this work for nothing.
My parents were right. Writing for living? Thats just living fantasies and hoping others would live them with me. The thing is, people will never truly understand my purpose. It's just entertaining to them, an escape from reality. What am I doing? Yes I have a job but just a regular apartment and no one to share it with. My father was right. Why have everything you want when you have no one to share that with? They were right, I was a failure.
"Elizabeth" Emily waved her hand in front of my face. I flinch and meet her eyes. "Your on soon" She said fixing her diamond head piece that held her vail, avoiding eye contact. I nod and slowly get up. Coming back into reality. My head was always in the clouds. Imagining my dream, eyes wide open.
I walk out into the hallway entrance of the church to meet Harry. I made no eye contact with him. Neither did he. I bit my lip and kept putting my self down in my mind.
You deserve everything thats coming. You deserve this ignorance from your only friends that you took for granted.
The music started playing. I stood up straight and Harry and I hooked arms. Maid of disappointment. I shake my head and held a breath in as the doors opened and we began walking with smiles molded onto our faces.
I stood there watching their love only grow stronger seeing each other across the aisle to the alter. Jeremy's smile wasn't molded. It was brought upon him, a cause, created for one purpose...Emily. She had the same.
Once hand in hand. They stared lost into each others eyes. Their world, dream, cloud. Together. They were on the same cloud. I want that. I know that now. I want to expand my cloud for someone else.
I gasp in at the thought. Tears sting my eyes. I look up and release that breath. People were staring at me. They thought I was emotional over the newly weds to be. I was but I would cheer and smile a real one for my best friend. Not cry. I look down to avoid all eyes. The red carpet in the church seemed so interesting at the moment. Ignoring the heart break. The shattered pieces I would never gain back.
The crowd cheered and stood up. I look up. Every thing in slow motion. I look over to them. Happily ever after. I look across the alter. His eyes wondering about me. What my thoughts were. He knew I wasn't fully here. My attention. He knew and wanted to know what exactly but I could see his face change at the thought, what I did to him. I shut him out like always.
I smiled up at him. He was so nice. "I'm glad you asked for the day off. I feel special" He joked. I laugh with him lightly. He glanced down at me and sighed. The car slowed off to the side. I frown as the cars on the highway passed us at 70 miles per hour. The car slightly shook as they zoomed by. "Why did you stop?" I turn to him. "Whats wrong?" He asked. "Nothing why?" I shake my head. "Okay I'll try a different approach. Harrys mad and your dazed more than usual. What happened between you two?" He clarified. He was good I have to admit.
"Zayn I really don't want to ruin our day with drama" I sighed leaned my head back. "I want you to enjoy as well. Not just me. I know that everything we do today. Something else will be on your mind. So just tell me, it's not drama it's actual problems that have to be solved." He raised his brows at me. I bit my lip. Damn you for being right.
"I went off on Harry just because my appearance for work wasn't up to my expectations and he tried telling me it was fine and I snapped at him by saying only my friends could call me Liz and he just got annoyed and Emily just dropped the bomb at me saying I can't say sorry and I'm a bitch and she was only my friend our of pity in high school." I stopped looking out the window embarrassed at how childish I am.
"Hey" Zayn reached for me. "Can I just stay at your place" I say without thinking. "Oh...okay yea thats fine" He said surprised. "Sorry I meant just... I don't know maybe just hang out and I'll walk back home." I apologize. "No don't. I want you to stay. It was either chicken out each time I tried to ask or you take the lead." He winked at me. I let out a real smile. "Thank you Zayn, really" I say. "It's no problem doll" He smiled back.
I giggled uncontrollably. "I feel like I'm on cloud nine" I lay back on the wooden floor. "You look really cute" Zayn smirked lazily. We were both drunk after me saying no but Zayn mixed it with my water. Or so I thought..it was actually vodka.
"Wow that must suck" He mumbled. "What?" I close my eyes. "Your parents" He said. "I know" I sighed. "You know your not a failure. You followed your dreams. Your there" He scooted over to me and layed on his stomach. "Yea but whats the point? I'm alone and I'm living just for my job. I'm pretty sure if it weren't for this publishing company I would be dead" I look over at him. "Or we would have never met" He mumbled and put a hand on my waist. I blush looking down at the ground.
"Yea I also wouldn't be in a feud" I roll my eyes. "See thats the only thing wrong with you" I look up at him. "You always see negativity. Find light in everything. Your here with me and having a fun night" He spoke. "Your always right" I groan. He laughed and pulled me to his chest. I laugh at him now. "You really are smooth" I say listening to his heart beat. "I know, thank you" He smirks.
"Can I make a positive?" I ask him. "What do you mean? Like, a good situation?" I nod. "Yea" He answers. "Good" I smirk and look up at him. He frowns confused at me. I put my hand on his neck and connect our lips. He squeezed my waist as he we moved our heads in sync. "Your a fast learner" He mumbled as he dived for my neck. I giggle and enjoy his soft skin on mine. He pushed me back and got on top.
Soon we were just in our briefs lost in our own world. I wrap my legs around his waist as he grinded on me. I moan. He smirks against my stomach.
We stopped and looked at each other. "You expecting anyone?" I ask. He shook his head unwrapping my legs and helped me get up. "Here go to my room on the left" He gave me our pile of clothes. I nod and rush down the hall to the left. I pushed the door open with my foot and walked in amazed at how nice and organized it was. I set our clothes on the brown neat comforter. I look around at the royal blue walls. I rush to the door and peek my head to listen.
"Haz?" I see his tired eyes in sweats and no shirt. I look outside and see his car. "Why did you drive without a shirt?" I quirk a brow at him. He shrugs and chuckles inviting him inside. "Who are you fucking?" He lets him self fall to the couch. "I-I no one" I stutter. "I'm not stupid. I know your morals." He gave me a look. I narrowed my eyes at him. Blood shot eyes, bags, lazy attitude. "Haz, no your not-"
"It's not like you don't. I've just been stressed" He ran his hand through his hair. I look down the hall, her head peeking out. I chuckle and she looks at me and sheepishly smiles while closing the door. "Talk to me" I sit beside him. He looks at me. "What isn't wrong? I'm hated by a person that I was really starting to fancy" He muttered. "Who's the girl?" I ask. "I don't feel like having a chick moment so can I just crash here?" He asks. I hesitate but I can't leave my mate in a time of need. "Sure, the couch is yours.
We both look at the coffee table. Shit. "Why is Emily calling you?" He frowned, grabbing the phone. "Uh ehm thats-"
"Lizzy" He bit his lip. "Yeah she was here this morning to hang out" I say. "So she wasn't sick?" He looked at me. "She called in sick?" I ask. "Yeah she said she had a fever which is why Em's calling since she has never missed a day in here life" He explained. "Oh she told me she just called in and had someone take her shift." I said. "Nope it was chaotic today so rushed and everything and everyone was all over the place" He said.
"Oh" I say. "I'll go home and take this for her otherwise she'll freak out if she doesn't wake up on time like last time" He struggled to get up. "Last time?" I frown. "Yeah when she slept over. We woke up late falling asleep watching football" He smiled. "You guys slept on the couch?" I test. "Yup. You know her hair....smells so nice" He grins at the memory. It bothered me but this is Harry on drugs, he doesn't know what he's saying.
"It's fine, I'm going over her house in the morning. I'll wake her up." I grab the phone from him. "Okay" He sighs and falls back on the couch. I grab a couch pillow and place it under his head and threw a blanket over him. "Night mate" I say. He throws me a peace sign and falls into slumber.
I walk into my room and see her still in just her knickers laying on her stomach, looking at the painting on my wall. I smile at the sight and lay next to her startling her. She smiled once she saw me. I lean in and kiss her. I feel her smile. I wrap my arms around her as she layed down pecking my chest and tracing my tattoos. "Thank you for tonight. I felt free, happy and comfortable. I haven't felt that in years." She kissed me once more. I smile. "Anything for you" I kiss her head smelling the fresh scent of mango and we fell asleep like that.
I was really falling for this girl and she could already trust me. At least drunk. I got a wall down but I down know how many more left.
I really like this chapter guys. I hope you like it too. I re-writ it like 3 times trying to make it perfect. Who do you guys ship though? SUGGEST SOME SHIP NAMES FOR ELIZABETH AND ZAYN FOR THOSE WHO DO WITH A #. IF NOT THEN SIMPLY COMMENT #Hazzabeth
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