Expectations: explicit content

She had amazing ideas. Smart beautiful but not to her own eyes. She needed others to think it in order for her to believe it. She has a bad idea. And she realizes that she's an idiot. But she's too far gone. No one can help her but herself


1. Where it starts

December 19th 2013

I quickly look around as I walk down a path to my old school. My elementary school. I graduated last year but I usually like to go back to see my favourite teachers. But that's not the reason today. I'm supposed to go to my guy friends house. We were something, but not anymore. He's a year younger than me, but he's really mature.

I see him as I walk through the school doors and smile. He just nods and we are walking to his house. He cheers me up because he knows I'm nervous to go to his house for the first time. He always made me very nervous. We walked there and basically chilled in his room for almost the entire time. This is where everything changed. We were laying beside each other in his bland beige room. He turns and looks at me. I'm supposed to leave soon. He then says.

"Damia, I like you a lot. Like a lot a lot." I nod as his face gets closer to mine.

"I like you too Damien."

"Yeah?" He whispers, then his lips are on mine. First time I've ever kissed a guy. And I'm making out with him on his bed. I hook my leg around his waist and his hands trail down my ass. Next thing I know his fingers are getting ready to slide into me. He hesitates.

"Do you want this?" He asks as he kisses my neck. Idk do I want this? His fingers start to rub around my pussy entrance.

"Idk" I whisper as I try to catch my breath.

"Do you?"

"Idk..idk" I start to shake my head and he plunges his fingers into me I gasp, it hurts but as he moves it feels so good. We start to kiss more and I loose my breathing. I moan as we kiss and he starts to kiss my neck. I close my eyes and moan loud. He stops after a while and flips me so I'm straddling him. we make it for 10-20 min ties straight until I realize I need to get home. He gets up to get my coat. I just stand in his small room. Looking at myself in his mirror, and I wonder, 'am I the same?' He comes in with my coat and the rest is a blur. He thinks we are dating. He loves me. He's holding my hand as he walks me towards where I need to be picked up. I'm dizzy. But trying to reassure him I'm okay. He's freaking out because I'm hyperventilating. But I just keep reassuring him. He leaves and I get in my moms car. We drive home and I'm silent. I get home. And there's blood in my underwear, my cherry was popped. I start to cry. And I call the only people I can trust. My best friends, Hilary and Valery.

The worst part. My mom doesn't notice anything is amiss

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