Expectations: explicit content

She had amazing ideas. Smart beautiful but not to her own eyes. She needed others to think it in order for her to believe it. She has a bad idea. And she realizes that she's an idiot. But she's too far gone. No one can help her but herself


2. The beginning

I felt so gross. Nothing ever felt like this ever. I say in the dark with my two best friends as I bawled my eyes out. I told them everything, they said I shouldn't ever see him again...I should've listened. But I didn't. They left and I figured that I would try again with Damien. I really liked him.. I went to see him for a second time. In a blizzard I walked to see him. We chilled at his house and he promised only just cuddles. So much for that. We did cuddle lots. We snuck up to his bedroom and cuddled and kissed.

"Baby your so fuckin hot" he says to me as he's over my my legs wrapped around his waist and he traces my neck. We go into heavy make out mode. I'm pushing my hips up grinding against him as he pushes down and grinds his boner against my pussy. We do this for who knows how long. He goes for my boobs and I let him. I pull my bra and shirt up so my d tits come loose and he sucks my nipples. It feels so good I wnna die. He then slips a hand in my pants and starts to circle my clit.

"Do you want this?" He asks again. His brown eyes staring into my hazel.

"Fuck it, yeah I want this" I moan at him and he brings my pants down and starts to eat me out while he fingers me. I moan and moan, he has to cover my mouth. He steps away and I realize he's looking in his top drawer. My minds spinning. Why is he doing that? I know I'm not going to like the answer.

"Damien no" I tell him firmly. Realizing he was looking for a condom. He chuckles

"Doesn't hurt to try." I pull up my pants and we cuddle for 10 minutes and then I go home. Disgusted at myself that I loved it so much.

2 days later

Why isn't he answering? He's never rlly texted me. It bothers me. I want to break up with him. I'm going to break up with him. For what the 6th time now? Goddammit. I break up with him and he doesn't even care. He doesn't care that he popped my cherry. That he was my first kiss...that I tried to believe his lies. He just doesn't care.

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