Now i'm a warrior

Angel is being bullied she feels alone and hurt. What will happen if your bully saves you from suicide. Will they fall in love ?

*warning contains abuse rape and selfharm*


5. from bad to worse

I looked around the room. Justin left a while ago. I still felt depressed. What if I made the wrong choice the world doesn’t need a girl like me. I’m ugly fat and worthless. I could go on for hours. I still had the pills I could just do it anyways.

I picked up the pills again but I stopped. Something made me stop a small but strong feeling inside. I put them down and cleaned up the ground. Cause it was still covered blood from the deep painful cuts I made. When I was done I cleaned my cuts and put a bandage around my arm. It did hurt but I was used to the pain. I needed something I could express myself in. I always used music to feel better. I put on my iPod and searched for the right song. I put it on and when I heard the meaningful lyrics I began to sing along.

This is a story that I have never told
I gotta get this off my chest to let it go
I need to take back the light inside you stole
You're a criminal
And you steal like you're a pro

All the pain and the truth
I wear like a battle wound
So ashamed, so confused
I was broken and bruised

Now I'm a warrior
Now I've got thicker skin
I'm a warrior
I'm stronger than I've ever been
And my armor, is made of steel, you can't get in
I'm a warrior
And you can never hurt me again

Out of the ashes, I'm burning like a fire
You can save your apologies, you're nothing but a liar
I've got shame, I've got scars
That I will never show
I'm a survivor
In more ways than you know

Cause all the pain and the truth
I wear like a battle wound
So ashamed, so confused
I'm not broken or bruised

'Cause now I'm a warrior
Now I've got thicker skin
I'm a warrior
I'm stronger than I've ever been
And my armor, is made of steel, you can't get in
I'm a warrior
And you can never hurt me

There's a part of me I can't get back
A little girl grew up too fast
All it took was once, I'll never be the same
Now I'm taking back my life today
Nothing left that you can say
Cause you were never gonna take the blame anyway

Now I'm a warrior
I've got thicker skin
I'm a warrior
I'm stronger than I've ever been
And my armor, is made of steel, you can't get in
I'm a warrior
And you can never hurt me again

No oh, yeah, yeah

You can never hurt me again


This song explained so much. It was like it was written just for me. I put on my pyjamas and I fell down on my. While thinking about the things that happened I fell asleep.

The weekend went by very fast it was mostly me going into the gym and drinking water. I only ate an apple for the whole weekend. I really wanted to lose a lot of weight. I also slept like shit because I was worried about today. But it was monday  again that meant school. My parents were coming home today.

I walked to school. I was really nervous cause what if they keep beating me. It would be just something for them stopping me from killing myself just so they could bully me again. I looked around the hallway and there they were justin and chaz i looked at the ground and tried to walk past them without them noticing me. But the saw.

“so you aren’t dead what a shame” chaz said.

I looked at justin but he just stood there looking anywhere but at me.

“stupid asshole I knew you wouldn’t care”

And with that I walked to the bathroom. When I arrived there I sat down against the wall my head in my hands. I could be dead right now and he stopped me just so the torturing could go on. Then I heard the door open and there stood Justin. A flashback came back in my head from Friday night.

“justin go away you don’t care about me I wish I just killed myself then I would be gone and everybody would be happy”

“angel I’m sorry but I can’t lose my popularity”

“you are a stupid asshole go away and leave me alone” i was angry by now.

“no” he walked closer to me.

“don’t come near me!” I stood up and wanted to run away. Then he grabbed me and looked me in the eyes.

I started to feel scared what if he would hurt me again. But then I felt his lips on mine. I lost it and started to cry. Then I ran as fast as I could out of the school not knowing where to go.



My feet started to hurt and I stopped running, I looked around me and realized I was in the woods. It was my favourite place to think. I walked further in the middle of the woods was a little river. I always sat there against atree when I was 14. I arrived at the spot and sat down. A lot of things were running through my head. Why did he kiss me? He can’t love me. He bullied me. Besides that I’m unlovable. If I could jus sit here forever and never go back I would. I looked around and saw my bag I picked my diary and a pencil out of it and started to write. It was a lyric I made up myself it wasn’t really good but it represented me.

I’m stronger but not fully healed I’m not fighting but I still wear a shield I build up walls around my heart trying to recover. But I’m still a messed up girl

I put my pen down. No this still didn’t fit but yeah I really don’t care. I looked over the water it was so peaceful and silent. As much as I loved it here I had to go back home. I stood up. Picked my bag and walked away. When I arrived home I hoped my parents would be there already but they weren’t home. Maybe they were late. I walked upstairs and showered when I was done I changed in sweatpants and a T shirt. I laid on my bed and plugged in my earphones. Before I could turn on the music I heard the doorbell ring. I walked downstairs and opened the door. In front of me stood a big police officer with a sad look.

“can I  talk to you miss?” he asked politely

“sure come in” I said not knowing what was happening and why he was here. We walked into the living room and we sat down.

“I’m sorry but I have to inform you that your parents died in a car crash I’m really sorry for your loss” he said looking at me. When I heard those words I couldn’t say anything I just sat there and let the tears slip.

“you are eighteen so you can live here by yourself I already have the papers and since your parents already bought the house it’s all yours” I took those words in but I didn’t really care about it all I wanted to do was die.

“I’m really sorry” he said again.

“do you have anyone who could come here to help you?”

“no I don’t have anybody” I said and my voice cracked as I let more tears fall.

They were dead. The only persons I had the only ones I loved were gone.

“I have to go” the policeman said. I stood up walking to the door and letting him out and as soon as he was gone I walked into the living room and fell down to the ground crying.

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