Act I, Scene III
Robert is showing Jacque around the first class deck [even though he shouldn't]
[big facial expressions and arm movements]
This is the Promenade deck. First class and only first class passengers are only allowed on this deck, unless you are a steward. And that's what I meant to tell you. Even though no one has spotted you yet, I am worried that if you get caught, I get caught. So I signed you up as a steward when we get to Ireland.
[shocked and angry]
What?! I came on here to rest from working so hard to earn my ticket!
[gives puppy dog eyes]
Yep, you worked real hard for the ticket I never saw!
Come on! It'll be fun! You'll get to hang with me as long as I supervise you.
[begging on knees]
No if's, and's, or but's! You are officially a steward tomorrow! Better enjoy freedom while it lasts. Work begins in a few hours.
[they exit while Jacque cries with his head in the air. Rosanne and her father enter]
But daddy! I don't want to go to dinner! That sleazy man you want me to date will be there! I hate his guts and his fancy fourteen karate gold rings with the A+ diamonds on them!
But honey! His family is almost as rich as ours and the Astors and Jacobs could merge our money together and become the richest families in the world!
[Laughs maniacally and organ music blasts as he holds out his hands out]
Cough. Excuse me. A little tickle in my throat.
[Rosanne walks off disgusted]
Honey! Baby Boo! My Money Maker!
[the lights dim and the audience is still on the same deck but only Rosanne is on. She is on the other side of the railings]
[stumbles over words]
If I can't live a simple life then I won't live at all!
[turns to jump but Jacque, wearing a stewards uniform, walks across the stage and catches her eye. Romantic music starts to play but is cut short when he shrugs and continues on his way. Rosanne turns to the crowd.]
Boy! Do they hire the cutest stewards! Ooh!
[Rosanne runs off the stage toward Jacque. Pan and Clyde enter]
Do ya see what goin' on between those two, Panny?
[elbows his side]
[holds up little soaps]
Yeah! There's a fairy that keeps leaving stuff on a cart in the middle of the hallways! Isn't it cool?
You didn't hear a word I said? Huh.
[holds his hand up to his ear like he is hard of hearing]
You're getting there lil' bro. At least you're stealing, kinda. No. She like him! We could do something to someone to make someone pay up to someone we know, see?
[counts his fingers, pulls out a calculator, scratches his head. Starts to shake his head yes then no]
No. We get the gal and offer a ransom the same amount that boy owes us. We ask him to give us the money and we get him alone to splat him! Genius Clyde! You are such a genius! I should give myself a kiss!
[starts to kiss his hand as Pan watches]
Clyde? Whatcha doin?
[looks up slowly]
Nothing. Come lil' bro. We plan a kidnapping tonight!
[Clyde starts to laugh maniacally as the same organ music as before. Pan joins in but chokes on his laugh. They walk off and the scene ends with Jacque]
[runs to opposite side of the stage]
[music from the show Emergency! turns on and Jacque pops his head back on stage]
No! What the heck is that? Never mind. Robert!