Chapter 37 (I Love You, Goodbye)
"Um..... I....." I started off. I didn't know what to do but most importantly, how to explain. Why didn't I taken those sticky notes down. Damn Crap Harry! She wasn't supposed to know about this nor my plan. I looked at her then at my feet.
"Well." She said harshly. I never seen Selena so mad, maybe Los Angeles has change her. I didn't really like the new Selena. Having problems like these, she would just talk it out or cry.
"I um......" I said. I couldn't think of anything. I am lost with my words. I looked over at Selena, she looked upset. She stood up from her bed and started to walk out the door, I quickly grabbed her wrist making her stop at her tracks. I pulled her in and she turned her head to me.
"Let go of me Harry." She begged. I could feel her heart beat fast. I didn't want her to leave. Her eyes were bloodshot from crying. By me. I am the reason why.
"No I won't let you go until I explain myself." I explained. She looked so egar to leave and I don't want to happen.
"Then go then. explain yourself." She spat. She removed my hand from her and stood up straight with her hands crossed. I walked backwards ruffling my hair.
"Well I went to to XFactor to audition." I started off. She then mumbled something under her breath but I couldn't make it clear.
"What?" I asked. She looked really mad but I couldn't blame her.
"You lied to me, why didn't you tell me that you auditioned to XFactor. I thought best friends don't keep secrets from each other." She yelled. I began to scratched my arm and my blood boils.
"I didn't lie to you. I wanted to keep it a surprise for you. Plus and told Demi about it so she kept it a secret too." I half shouted. she began to smirk as she walked up to me. I felt more and more in tensed with this conversation.
"You Told Demi! She didn't lie to me, she told me about it this morning that is why I came here!" She screamed. What?
"She did?" I quietly whispered.
"You know, I knew having a relationship is this hard. I should have never been with you, we shouldn't have stayed best friends and stayed that way. Do you even care about me?" She asked. Our voices were low and quiet.
"I do care about you, don't think that way." I begged. She scoffed at my words. I couldn't control myelf as I grabbed a pillow from her bed and squeezed it. I needed something to put my anger on.
"Really? You don't act like it. Every since I had left home, you have been acting really weird. Now that I am here, I now know the truth. You were cheating on me." She retorted.
"I did not!" I yelled. I squeezed Selena's pillow even tighter.
"What else did you do while I was gone? Did you give her a new phone like me and said that you love her." She reminded me. I threw the pillow out the hallway, I could feel my veins pop out. She took her phone out and threw it on her bed. Hard.
"Why did you do that! You know how much it costed!" I fought back. She then softened up and went back into a little innocent Selena.
"I'm sorry I didn't mean to too." She whispered shyly as her eyes watered. I went up to her but she placed her hand on my chest, pushing me away.
"What else have you been hiding from me." She said looking at me in the eyes. I could see her lips quiver as her lips parted leaving a gap.
"Nothing else. I promise." I responded back. She then closed her mouth fully and looked at the ground.
"Selena please understand that I didn't cheat. It was a mistake." I honestly said. I began to walk slowly up to her, I could feel her eyes lay on me. I watched as her eyes widen as if this was my first move on her. I wrapped my arms around her waist and placed my forehead on hers. I could feel her breath brush my lips. I felt like she was frozen as she stared into my eyes. I began to lean in getting ready for a kiss. I watched her eyes close as I gave in, I felt her warm soft lips against mine. It felt ages since I kissed her. I began to go in sync with the kiss as our tongues fought but either time, sometimes danced. I placed my hand on her small back pushing her in, deepening the kiss gently. She then pulled away and placed her hand on my chest, looking lost.
"I can't..." she mumbled under her breath but I could hear it. I removed my hand off her back and lifted her chin up looking into those big chocolate pupils, seeing my reflection.
"What do you mean." I asked. She then used her hand to push me away from her. I grasped her waist again trying to stay close to her.
"I just.... can't. I can't do this relationship anymore." She began to cry softly. No please no, Selena.
"No Selena. We can do this together. I don't want to let you go, please stay with me." I breathed. I could feel her tears fall onto my pale skin.
"I can't do this because were distance apart Harry." She mentioned. She has nevered called me Haz anymore, its always Harry.
"I know we are but we can still do this." I said. She then pushed me away slight harder. I removed my grip from her as I stumbled backwards ending up onto her bed.
"Harry, you know long distance relationships don't work." She explained as she paced back and forth in the room. I just watched her as I hoped this relationship won't die.
" I know but..... I love you too much to be with another." I softly say. I could feel my eyes water but not too much. She walked up to me and pulled me up causing me to stand. She then pushed me to the wall, hovering over me. I stared at her eyes as she brought her hand up to my cheek, caressing it.
"I know. I love you too, so much. But I think we should have a break before we could just sort things up. We can still be best friends as usually. You are free to go out and meet the girl of your dreams, have a relationship that is better than ours, create a family, and live happily ever after." She explained hesitantly. No I don't want to meet another girl, I already found mine.
"I know. I love you too, so much. But I think we should have a break before we could just sort things up. We can still be best friends as usually. You are free to go out and meet the girl of your dreams, have a relationship that is better than ours, create a family, and live happily ever after." I said. I didn't want Harry to meet another girl. I wanted him to be mine, forever eternity. But I knew I had to let this go even though its hard.
"I don't want to find another person, I already found mine and I want to spend my whole life with her." He said. I could see the tears in his eyes build up. I hate to see Harry cry like this.
" We can't Harry. Not like this. I live in Los Angeles and you live her in Vancouver. How can we keep up this relationship when we are half across the world." I reminded him. He began to look at the ground as I still examined his face.
"I don't know........" He mumbled. I blinked a few times letting my tears fall.
"I'm going back to Los Angeles tonight." I made up my decision, I'm going back. I moved my hand up to my head feeling the bandage from my accident. How am I going to explain this to Demi and to management? Even worse, how am I going to do the photo shoot this Friday. Harry lifted his eyes and looked at me with his eyes wide open.
"No." he whispered.
"No! Please not again. I am lost without you, you understand. I can't bare to live my life properly. Please don't go." He begged. Harry broke down into tears making me cry also. I knew how hard it is to leave Harry but I couldn't imagine what it was like to him. I am denying my mom's promise, I hate that but I needed a break from this.
"Harry please...... I need to go back, I need to explain to Demi and deal with management." I explained. He then removed himself off the wall leaving me alone in the corner. I turned around finding him grab his keys and coat.
"Then I am coming with you." He said as he placed both his arms through the sleaves of the jacket. What? He can't come with me, who is going to take car of Aunt Anne.
"No. You stay here, with Aunt Anne." I mentioned as I walked out of the room to pick up the pillow that Harry threw. I walked back into my room and placed it gently onto my old bed.
"At least stay for one night." He begged. I slowly wiped my eyes as the tears kept falling. I looked over to Harry, all ready to leave home to come with me to Los Angeles.
"I can't. Today is Wednesday. I need to go back home and tell management to cancel it." I said. He walked up to me and placed his arms around my waist one last time.
"but this is your home." He reminded me. He was right, this was my home. The home I had grew up in. He placed his forehead onto mine making me wince in pain a bit. He mumbled sorry as he caressed my cheek. I didn't say anything, I stood there silent.
"Say Something." He said softly. I missed Harry's comfort, is this the right path I want to take. No I can't, I need to think first. I don't want to make a mistake on this relationship again.
"I'm going to miss you when I get back. I just have nobody around to talk to when Demi is gone." I said. I looked down onto the ground and stared at my feet.
"Then I'll be the one, if you want me too." He said. I felt as this is real. He gave me a small smile showing a bit of his dimples. I returned the smile as I frowned at the end.
"What if I feel lonely, and I needed someone to hold." I said. He stared into my eyes and began to lean closer with a smile on his lips.
"Anywhere, I would follow you to make sure you are alright when you need me." He calmed me down. I began to smile a bit but let it go. I could feel his breath, his minty breath on my skin. I began to create goosebumps from the distance between us.
"Harry I....." Before I could say anything else. I glanced at the clock behind him, my eyes widen.
"Harry I have to go, my plane leaves in one hour." I reminded him. He looked at the clock behind him and then looked back at me. He had a worried expression on his face again.
"Selena..... Please don't end this please. i promise to be better." I went closer to him and this time it was my turn to place my head on his forehead. I placed my hand on his cheek, letting our nose brush against each other.
"Its already been done." I whispered softly letting a tear from my eye drop. I could feel him getting closer to me. Our lips then brushed against each other, I felt the intention between us as I felt his tongue swift along his bot tome lip.
"I Love You, Goodbye." I mumbled as I crashed my lips onto his. He began to hungrily kiss me as he roughened it up a bit. I never felt so alive with Harry but all I know this is our last kiss and maybe the last time we will be seeing or communicating with each other. I could feel his hand go under my shirt slightly but only on my waist, his cold hands made me shiver as I continued to dance with him. I then pulled away and tried to catch my breath. He placed his forehead onto mine and joined me. I gave him a hug absorbing all of his love towards me. I pulled away and heading out for the door. it was silence surrounding us all over again. I waved goodbye to Harry as I watched him break down to tears but didn't make a sound. before I knew it, I was walking out the door of my old and lost house. I continues to walk to the bus stop as I wiped a tear from my eyes.
When I got to the bus stop, I was the only one waiting. I could feel the cold breeze past by me. The sun was beautiful right now. I could hear the birds squawking, trying to communicate with the other birds. I began to watch them past by me, but this one bird was left at the back of the group. It was different from the others, it had white feathers and a yellow beak that I have never before seen. Thats when I realize when it landed beside me, looking at me with its big eyes.
It was my mothers spirit right beside me.
As I heard the door close. Selena just left, left me. Forever. I closed her room door and turned around imagining Selena still here beside me. The kiss we just shared was not like our other kissed, it was pure love and intensity. I had never felt so miserable. ever. The love of my life just life me here, telling me that we should have a break. A Break is like your relationship is gone, dead. I walked over to Selena's bed and sat on it when I heard a crumpling sound. I reached into my pocket and grabbed a piece of paper. I scanned it as I realized it was my form to be in One Direction. One Direction, XFactor, Selena. I just noticed that I broke Aunt Mandy's wish. I felt my face heaten up and tears flooding my eye sockets.
I Began to grip the piece of paper in my hands tightly as I shredded it apart. I left it on the carpet as I stumbled to Selena's bedroom window, as I flopped down to the ground. I opened to window really wide for the room was quite hot. I watched the bus leave the bus stop, Selena really left. What have I done. I am such an idiot. Why would you kiss Quezyly Harry?! Bastard!!
"Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Arrrrgg!." I yelled to myself, never caring if the neighbours could hear. I just broke up with the love of my life because of this stupid mistake and this offer. I placed my hand into my hands as I tried not to cry but I just couldn't hold it. As I heard a fluttering sound nearby, I lifted my head up to see a dove on my window sill. Its black eyes is what made me feel as if it wasn't a normal dove but I could just see a soul in there burning. That's when I realized what was going on.
I have Aunt Mandy here with me.
Hey Girls and maybe boys! I hope you like this chapter. I made it interesting so yeah. Oh and I am so sorry for updating late, I had alot of homework and this second term is getting harder for me. SO MUCH HOMEWORK!! But hey, I m not leaving you guys hanging. At least I made this chapter but yeah. Hope you all enjoyed it till it last. Love you all forever eternity.