So, today's the day Nathan and I are travelling to London to look at flats. The thought of moving out of Gloucester is scary, but I know it needs to be done at the same time. I don't want to raise this baby all on my own and that's what will happen if I don't move. Okay, maybe I won't be completely all on my own, I'll have help from my family and his but still.
Currently, I'm downstairs in the living room waiting for Nathan to finish. Leave it to Nathan to be running late. He honestly has no sense of time, I swear he'll still be late whenever our baby gets here. Ah, Nathan Nathan. As much as he irritates me, I love him with all of my heart. I grabbed my phone out of my jacket pocket and went onto Twitter.
@TaylorSykes: Waiting on @NathanTheWanted to finish getting ready. Leave it to him to be late!
As soon as it sent, Nathan came running down the stairs.
Me: "Finally done? What's it, Christmas now?"
He just stuck his tongue at me. I laughed and got up off the couch and went over to Nathan. We headed outside, me walking behind to lock up the flat. We got into the back of my mom's car and headed for the train station.
Mom: "You two have fun. Taylor, don't overdue it. If you get tired, take a break. Nathan, don't let her overdue it like you know she'll do."
Nathan: "I won't, I promise."
Karen: "And don't settle on the first flat you find. Take your time, consider all your options. You guys are going to have a family now, really think about what you are going to need in a place."
Mom: "Make sure it has enough space and isn't too close to a main road."
Me: "Alright guys, we get it. You're stressing me out and we've not even made it to the station."
Karen: "Right sorry. Gosh, I can't believe our babies are going to have a baby soon! "
Mom: "I know. It's like just yesterday you two were in diapers, running around the house."
Nathan: "Ahh, no sap stories!"
Luckily, we pulled into the train station. We jumped out and said goodbye to our mom's before heading to the platforms. Our train was already there, so we gave our tickets to the man and got on. I grabbed the window seat before Nathan could, causing him to pout and whine. I smiled and pecked his lips which made him reicprocate the smile. He wrapped his arm over my shoulder and brought me into his side.
Nathan: "Excited to look at flats?"
Me: "Eh, kinda."
Nathan: "Babe, you'll love London."
Me: "I don't know, Nath. I'm such a home girl. Gloucester is my home and I feel that's where I should be and where I should raise my child."
Nathan: "But this baby isn't just yours, it's mine too. I would love to be able to stay in Gloucester but I can't and I hate that. We have to sacrifice things in life and now that we're having a baby, the sacrificing starts now."
Me: "Nathan, you think I don't understand that? Do you understand how much I'm sacrificing? I'M the one moving to a new place, I'M the one giving up everything, and I'M the one whose future is ruined. How do you think I feel? All you have to sacrifice is living in a house with your best mates. Look at what I'm sacrificing. I'm giving up my whole life because of this. Don't sit here and give me this sacrifice bullshit when you are barely giving up anything."
After that, I pulled away from him and out of his arms. I grabbed my headphones out of my bag and plugged them into my phone before sticking them in my ears. I just put my music on shuffle and let my mind wander.
Why me, of all people, why was it me who had to fall pregnant at 19? I just don't get it. Yeah, I've always wanted kids, but not this early in life. I love Nathan, I really do, but we're too young to be parents. He can barely get himself ready and out the door on time, having a baby around is only going to make it worse. Shut, we're honestly just kids ourselves; we don't need a baby right now. God, why did a baby have to happen? I had my life mapped out. I was going to finish at uni for dancing and then I'd either be a dance teacher or a dancer. Never did a baby come into this equation, now I have no equation.
My phone vibrated in my hand and I looked down to see Carly texting me.
Hey sis! Enjoy London Town ... Jess and I are crazy jealous! :D
Don't be, it's already started off bad. The train barely left the station before Nath and I got into it.
What happened? :(
He gave me the sacrifice bull shit speech. I told him how I'm the one sacrificing everything and to shut it.
I swear sometimes there's more dick in his personality then in his pants.
I don't know, Carls. It's pretty big both ways. ;)
TMI ! We did NOT want to know that. -_-
Jess and I.
Ohh! Hi Jess! I'm gonna take a nap, being pregnant makes you tired. I'll text you lot later! XOXO
Bye, have fun in London! We love you two!! :D
I closed out my texts and logged into Twitter.
@NathanTheWanted: I really need to learn when to shut my mouth...
@MaxTheWanted: @NathanTheWanted that you do.. What did you do this time mate?
@NathanTheWanted: @MaxTheWanted long story. Will tell you when we get to London.
I just sighed and closed out of Twitter. Since there isn't much to do and it's not like Nathan will be talking to me for a bit, I started to doze off.
Nathan: "You know what, Taylor? I don't want anything to do with you or the baby."
Me: "No Nathan, you can't leave me to raise a baby all by myself."
Nathan: "Really? Watch me."
And he walked out.
I woke up in someone's arms, crying. By the scent, I could tell instantly that it was Nathan and right now, I didn't care that I was mad at him. I needed someone and he was that someone.
Nathan: "What's the matter, Tay-Tay? Why are you crying?"
Me: "I had a dream that you walked out on the baby and I and left me to raise it by myself with no help."
Nathan: "I would never do that and you know that?"
Me: "But do I, Nath? There's going to be times where you have to leave to tour or to record and I'll be here, all by myself and in a town that I know nobody in."
Nathan: "Don't worry about that now, babe. We'll worry about that when the time comes."
Me: "No, Nathan. We need to be worrying about it now. I don't think you're grasping what I'm telling you. I have no friends, no family, no support system in London outside of you, the lads, and their girlfriends. When you guys are out at gigs or when you all go to America, I'm stuck home by myself with a baby. I won't be able to call my family or your family to come over and help."
Nathan: "Then don't move to London. Stay in Gloucester."
I just looked at him, shocked he actually said that to me. I moved off his lap and back into my seat.
Me: "Fine, I won't move to London. I'll stay in Gloucester and you can just come see your child whenever you get the chance. I'll raise it by myself. Why am I even here with you right now? You're such an inconsiderate little fuck, Nathan."
I could tell by his eyes that he was both mad and upset, but I don't care. All he thinks about is himself sometimes. I mean, he basically expects me to drop my whole life and move to London. Okay, I'm pregnant with his child and I should move for our baby but at the same time, I won't have really any support system as we're going to be 2 hours away. I'll just stay in Gloucester and he can travel 2 hours whenever he finds time to see his child.
After a few long minutes of staring out the window, I noticed the Waterloo Train Station move closer to us as we made our way into it. The train stopped once inside and I could see Nathan stand up beside me. I got up and pulled on my bag before following Nathan off the train. He was busy texting away on his phone while I searched the area for the tickets booth. I finally caught sight of it and headed that way, only to be stopped by Nathan.
Nathan: "What are you doing?"
Me: "Going to buy a ticket back to Gloucester. I don't want to be here with you."
Nathan: "Wow, so you're just going to leave like that?"
I nodded. He rolled his eyes and walked off. I continued towards the booth and got in the long line to buy a ticket. I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket, so I pulled it out and noticed it was my mom calling.
Mom: "Honey, what's going on between you and Nathan? Why are you buying a ticket home when you've just got there?"
Me: "Because, all he cares about is himself. I'm not going to just leave my whole life behind for someone who only cares for himself. I'll just stay in Gloucester and he can see his child whenever he has time."
Mom: "Taylor, that's not right and you know that."
Me: "Oh well, he wants to act the way he is, then I'll just come home and he can figure it out."
Mom: "Taylor, never in your life have I been this disappointed in you."
Me: "Why are you disappointed in me? What have I done?"
Mom: "Listen to yourself right now. Nathan is doing all of this so he can be in his babies life and instead of embracing that, you're finding every reason to make him out to be the bad guy and make life complicated for you. You can't raise a baby on your own, you know this, we all know this. Just stop fighting with Nathan and go back to him. Go look at flats in London and work it out. This is for your baby, not for the two of you."
I hung up and put my phone back in my pocket. I got out of the line and walked around the station in search of Nathan. I just sighed frustratedly and headed towards the little restaurant in the station. Once inside, I noticed someone in the back corner at a booth with his head planted inside of a menu; Nathan. I made my way over to him and sat across from him in the opposite booth. I noticed Nathan put the menu down and look up at me.
Nathan: "Decide to stay?"
Me: "Yes but only because we're having a baby. Trust me, I really don't want to be here with you right now."
Nathan: "Taylor, can we just stop fighting? I love you so much, you know that. I know it's probably all your hormones talking while we're fighting, but it still hurts. I don't want to fight with you."
I just nodded and smiled over at him. He smiled back before a waiter brought over 2 cups of tea. I looked over at Nathan who just smiled.
Nathan: "I knew you wouldn't leave."
Nathan: "Because, I know you inside and out...literally."
Me: "Hahaha Nathan, you naughty boy."
He just did his good boy smile, which is honestly quite creepy but funny at the same time!
Nathan: "Yeah, but you love me."
Nathan: "Shit, we gotta go."
He jumped up and quickly put the money on the table and he pulled me out of the restaurant and out of the train station. Outside, Big Kev was waiting with the van. Nathan went over and opened the door and we got in. I was expecting to see the other lads inside but they weren't there.
Big Kev: "Ah Taylor, you're still with this loser?"
Me: "Sadly so. He'll forever be my loser now, though."
Big Kev: "Oh yeah, the lads told me your news. Congrats!"
I looked over at Nathan who had a concentrated look on his face.
Me: "Nathan, stop thinking so hard. You're brain can't handle too much.
Nathan: "I'm just trying to figure out how I'm a loser.
Me: "Cause you are, but you're my loser.
He just smiled and pecked my lips. I took out my phone and opened up Twitter.
@TaylorSykes: I love my boyfriend. <3
Nathan: "I love myself too."
Me: "NATHAN! Why are you reading over my shoulder?"
Nathan: "Cause I can."
Big Kev: "Nath, rule number 1 about girls, don't read over their shoulders. Taylor, you may now leave him."
Nathan just pouted and I laughed. I leaned over and kissed him.
Me: "Mm, about an hour ago, I would've but now, I love him too much to do that."
Nathan: "Women and their hormones."
Big Kev: "Get used to it, mate. You've got a few more months of bitchy Taylor."
Me: "Just a few more months? It's only going to get worse once the baby gets here."
Big Kev laughed and Nathan just pouted again. I leaned over and whispered into his ear.
Me: "But, I did hear sex with a pregnant woman is like heaven."
Nathan: "Sex with you anytime is like heaven."
We both laughed and pulled away. I looked out the window only to be met by a lady standing outside a flat, on the phone.
Nathan: "And, there's Joyce."
Nathan opened the van door and we got out. He closed it and waved goodbye to Big Kev as we walked up to the lady.
Joyce: "Oh, hello Nathan. This must be your fiance?"
Me: "Nope, just his girlfriend. Hi, I'm Taylor."
Joyce: "Alright, let's go take a look inside."
Nathan took hold of my hand as she unlocked the front door and went inside. It was pretty good sized. You open up the door to a long hallway with an archway leading to the living room and the kitchen at the end. There's a dining room, 4 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, a garage and garden.
Me: "I don't think this is it, Nath. It just doesn't seem like the one."
Nathan: "I agree."
Joyce: "Well, on to the next one."
We exited the house and Nathan and I got back into the van. Big Kev followed Joyce for about 10 minutes before stopping. We got out and headed into this house. When you opened the door, you were right in the living room. The living room and dining room were big and open with a closed off kitchen. There was 3 bedrooms, 2 1/2 bathrooms, a garage and garden.
Nathan: "This one doesn't really fit either."
Me: "Yeah, I agree."
Joyce just smiled before we walked out of the house and back into the van. Poor Kevin, he was probably tired of driving. But, we had him stop and go get himself some food and a drink or two, non alcoholic of course, before we went and did more house hunting.
After about 5 more houses, Nathan and I were about to give up. We've been to 7 total and none fit what we want. We're going to the last one now and Nathan and I are basically expecting us to not like it as that's how it's been all day.
We arrived at the last house and went inside. There was a very spacious living room, nice sized dining room, and rather large, modern kitchen. There was 5 bedrooms, 2 garages, a garden, a pool and a sound proofed studio room on the 3rd floor. Nathan came over to me, smiling like an idiot.
Nathan: "I think this is the one."
Me: "Don't you think it's a bit big and expensive?"
Nathan: "Babe, it's fine."
Me: "I don't know, Nath. It seems expensive."
Nathan: "It's not, Taylor."
Me: "Are you just saying that because you want it? Nathan, we need to be adults here. I don't want to jump into something and later on lose it because we couldn't afford it."
Nathan: "That won't happen."
Me: "How about we call and talk to our parents? They'll know what to do."
He just groaned while I took out my phone. I rung my mom and she picked up on the second ring.
Mom: "Taylor, sweetie. How's the flat viewings going?"
Me: "Not to well. Are you will Karen by any chance?"
Mom: "Yes, why?"
Me: "Nathan and I need the opinion of you guys."
Karen: "Hello, darlings."
Me: "Hey, so Nathan and I are at this flat now. It's nice, big, and Nathan loves it. I mean, I like it too but I'm worried it's going to be too much."
Mom: "How much is it?"
Nathan: "The payments are about 1254.33 a month."
Karen: "Can you two afford that with all the doctor payments and all the money needed to furnish and to buy the baby stuff?"
Nathan: "Yeah, I make enough."
Mom: "What about you, Taylor? What are you going to do out there?"
Me: "I know I'm going to have to get a job since I obviously can't dance anymore. I don't know."
Karen: "I think you two need to sit down and figure out your finances. Don't jump into something simply because you like it."
Me: "Alright. Thanks you guys. We love you, bye!"
I hung up and put my phone in my pocket.
Me: "Nathan and I are going to go to dinner and then we'll discuss it and let you know."
Joyce: "Okay. Goodbye, have fun!"
We waved and headed out. We slid into the van and Nathan told Big Kev where to take us. We were only in the car for about 15 minutes before the van stopped. Nathan got out and helped me out and into the restaurant. I noticed we were at Nandos by the way it looked. We took a seat at a table in the back and got comfortable before our waitress came over. She hit on Nathan a bit, but it didn't really phase me. We ordered tea and both got fish n' chips. Once we had our tea, I looked over at Nathan seriously.
Me: "Nathan, I don't think we should get that house."
Me: "Because, I don't want to be tight for money and have to worry about losing my house."
Nathan: "We won't be tight for money."
Me: "Nathan, I love you and I know you think we won't, but we will. A baby is expensive and I won't have a job right away."
Nathan: "Baby, you don't need a job."
Me: "Nathan, yes I do. I'm not going to let you make all the money while I sit at home and live off of you. You may be my boyfriend and baby daddy, but I couldn't live like that."
Nathan: "Yeah, but later in the pregnancy you're going to have to relax, and you can't do that with a job."
Me: "Alright, fine. But, if you aren't going to let me work, we need a smaller house. That payment is too much for my liking."
Nathan: "I guess you're right. I'll go ahead and call Joyce and tell her."
I smiled over at him as he pulled out his phone. I took out mine as well and opened up Twitter.
@TomTheWanted: Get to see @TaylorSykes in a bit. Let the games begin!
@TaylorSykes: @TomTheWanted what games? Mess with me and Nathan will kill you! :P
@TomTheWanted: @TaylorSykes sticking Lil Nath on me now? I'm so scared. ;)
@TaylorSykes: @TomTheWanted you should be, you bully!
@KelseyBelle90: @TaylorSykes @TomTheWanted you tell him, Tay! You're such a bully Tommy. xx
I just laughed and closed out Twitter. I noticed Nathan was just hanging up, I missed that whole conversation; whoops!
Nathan: "So, Joyce thinks she found the ideal place for us. We have 20 minutes to meet her and it's 10 minutes away. Are you okay with just getting our food to go and eating at my place?"
I nodded. He smiled at me as our waitress came over. After Nathan asked for her to just box our food, she seemed a little upset but oh well. She soon came back with a bag containing our food. Nathan gave her the money and told her to keep the change. He pulled me outside and into the van. Big Kev sped off down the road toward the house we were about to view. I snuggled into Nathan as he wrapped his arm around me.
Nathan: "I'm so happy we aren't fighting anymore."
Me: "I agree."
Nathan: "Do you take back telling me you don't want to be with me?"
Me: "Yes. It was just the hormones talking, I love you and you know that."
Nathan: "MM, I love you too."
I looked up at him as his lips came crashing down onto mine. I smiled into the kiss before he pulled away and kissed my forehead. Right as I snuggled into Nath, the van stopped. We got out and went up to the front door of the house. We knocked and Joice answered, inviting us in.
Inside, there was a hallway connecting the front door, living room, and kitchen area. The living room was quite bit with a medium sized dining room and modern kitchen. There was also a 2 car garage attached. Upstairs, there was 3 bedrooms and a master bedroom. There were 2 1/2 bathrooms and an attic. Outside, there was a pool fenced off behind the garage, a deck, garden, and nice amount of space for a child to play in. I smiled and looked over at Nathan.
Me: "I love it."
Nathan: "I do to. Joyce, how much is it?"
Joyce: "It was a foreclosure, so it's only 776.49 a month."
Nathan and I looked at each other.
Me: "We'll take it."
Her face lit up and she pulled out a stack of papers from her bag. She led Nathan and I into the kitchen and over to the large island. We signed and did everything else needed. Joyce told us we could move in anytime after tomorrow before we thanked her and said goodbye. We headed out of our soon-to-be house and back into the van.
Big Kev: "Please say you've picked a house."
Nathan: "Yupp, that one."
Big Kev: "Nice choice, it obviously wasn't yours though, Nathan. You're not that good."
Me: "Hahahaha, I love you Kev."
He just smiled from the front. I looked over at Nathan and kissed his pouted lips. He kissed back but we soon had to part as we were at the lads flat. We said goodnight to Kev as we got out and he drove off. Nathan pulled me up and inside of their house. The lads were all sat in the living room watching something on the television.
Max: "TAY! YOU CAME TO VISIT ME!"
Me: "Haha, no! I came to look at houses but we kinda missed our train back."
Tom: "So, we're stuck with you all night?"
I nodded and smiled. Kelsey soon walked in and came straight to me.
Kelsey: "AWWWWWE! Tay, you're showing!"
I smiled and looked down at my bump. Kelsey placed her hands on my belly and rubbed it.
Nathan: "Babe, I'm gonna go put our food on plates and we can eat."
Me: "Alright, love you."
Nathan: "Love you too!"
Kelsey: "Come on, sit down babe. I know you're probably tired."
Me: "Actually, not really. I've grown out of that."
Siva: "How does it feel to be pregnant?"
Me: "Scary, absolutely terrifying if I do say so myself. Kels, you should have a baby."
Kelsey: "I'll pass, we have one Tom; that's enough!"
Me: "But don't you want a little person to play dress up with?"
Kelsey: "I can just do that with your baby."
She smiled wickedly over at me. I laughed as Nathan came into the room carrying two plates. He gave me mine and sat on the other side of me. I began eating my food, teh conversation dying down as we watched the TV.
After eating, Nathan took our plates and put them in the kitchen before we both went upstairs and to his room. I went over and laid down on his bed, him soon coming over to join me.
Nathan: "So, we can move in the day after tomorrow. What if we pack up my stuff tonight and then tomorrow, we'll catch the earliest train to Gloucester and pack up your place?"
He smiled and leaned over and kissed me. It started to get heated, but I pulled away before anything else happened.
Me: "We have packing to do, let's go."
We got up and I went over to his dresser. I took out all of his clothes and managed to pack them tightly into two suitcases. I had to use another two suitcases to pack all of his hands and one suitcase to tightly pack all of his shoes. Nathan packed up all of his pictures, books, movies, magazines, laptop, iHome, and other knick knacks left over. We put all of the boxes and suitcases over by the door and I went into the bathroom. I quickly stripped down and took a quick shower. Once out, I wrapped a towel around my body and went back into Nathan's bedroom. He was busy doing something on his phone while I went over to his clothes suitcase and opened it. I grabbed a pair of boxers and a tee shirt and pulled them on. I noticed he was already down to boxers before I went over to the bed. I set my phone on the charger and laid in bed. Nathan soon plugged his phone in and turned to look at me.
Nathan: "You look sexy in my clothes."
Me: "Awe, thank you."
He kissed me before turning off the light and cuddling up to me. I kissed his chest before soon falling asleep.