Ode to Sinead

My valentine's message to Sinead. I do mean every word.

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1. Sinead

Sinead, I never meant to fall for you. I knew we could never be together but hey I couldn't help falling for you. You filled my life with a purpose, made me ecstatically happy. All I ever wanted was friendship, nothing more. I enjoyed your company, enjoyed talking to you and laughing with you. You came to me when I was low and gave me hope and something to live for. I've probably never said this but you are beautiful. You don't think you are I know, but trust me on this one. I love your enthusiasm, the way your eyes light up when you talk about your passions in life. I even loved your grumpy moods. In the middle of all this I missed all the signs that something was wrong, so caught up in the friendship. You were for a few precious weeks my reason for living. I knew it couldn't last, but didn't expect the brakes to go on so fast. 

Then you hurt me, whether you realised that you did or not. I'm sure you never meant to but it was the worst agony I've experienced. However I didn't hate you for it, you obviously had a reason for doing it, and I respect you for this.You cast me adrift in the sea of life, alone and afraid, it took me a long time to get over the fact that you were no longer there. I missed your voice, I missed your sense of humour. I'd think something and have no one to share it with, no one who understands me. The music that we listened to took on new meanings, the lyrics turned on their head. 

Slowly it's got better but you've left a huge hole in my life. I still miss you like crazy, miss those chats and talking about writing, books, movellas and everything. I miss those times we had, the journey back from York, Maccydees, Starbucks and many more. Luckily I have my mental photos to remind me of those days. 

All I really want to say is that I miss your friendship. Over those halcyon days I came to respect you and even probably fall in love with you. So here on valentine's day, I just wanted to tell you how much I miss you and how much I admire you.  

Love 

Tom 

She's lost in the darkness fading away 
I'm still around here 
Screaming her name 
She's haunting my dreamworld 
Trying to survive 
My heart is frozen 
I'm losing my mind 
 
Help me, I'm buried alive 
Buried alive

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