40. Forgive me
I think I was dying. I wasn't sure, but I realized that I wouldn't come back. I would never again feel the fresh air or feel the grass under my feet. I wouldn't celebrate a single birthday and on Christmas Eve, Santa Claus would miss me. I realized that this was the end.
I made myself ready. I prayed earnestly that Niall wouldn't kidnap a new girl after me. Then I asked my parents to apologize for everything I had done to them. I wished my friends good luck and I hoped that everyone would one day find out what happened to me.
"You're talking?" I heard Niall say. I don't know if he was in the room or if he was in my head. I have no idea what he was doing.
"I know!" I whispered and smiled to myself. "I pray to god that you don't do this against a single living human being."
I smiled anyway
"You will be punished."
More pills, more drugs and more sleep. But I liked to sleep. I loved not having anything to do with the life anymore and I wished I could fall asleep forever.
I was about to go crazy or was I going to die?
I saw a meadow in front of me. A large meadow with lots of grass. I feel the grass under my feet and I could feel the breeze caressing through my hair. I watched the clouds drift over my head and a big sun.