As I stared blankly at the letter in my hands, reading it over and over again, but it always says the same thing.
I regret to Inform you that your cancer has spread, we will do as much as we can to save you but there is a large chance we won't.
I buried my face in my hands and started to cry, not realizing Andrea had walked in and started tugging on my shirt, I lifted her up and put her in my lap facing me.
"Why mommy cry?" She asked while wiping away my tears.
"Mommy just has something in her eyes" I lied pretending to get something out of them. "Mommy's fine go play" I said while shooing her away.
What am I going to do with her? My mom and dad can support her and I don't want to dump her with a friend… I guess we're doing something I swore I would never do. She's going to her dads.
I went to her room and packed all her essentials, pictures, teddies, clothes, bathroom stuff and her papers and documents. I wrote a note saying why I was leaving her with him and just some important stuff.
After I loaded everything into the car I grabbed Andrea, saying we were just going out for ice cream. We pulled up to our favourite ice cream parlour, and ordered. I got cookie dough and she got super kid.
We sat down at our favourite booth and we ate our ice cream in silence, when we were done she was just covered in it, I giggled and cleaned her up, I'm really going to miss being a mom.
"Mommy, we go home?" She asked yawning.
"You're not going home baby" I muttered.
"Huh" she said confused.
"Yes baby, we can go home" I said feeling a bit guilty, because I was really dropping her off at her dads, I got her strapped into her car seat and made my way to his house.
"Mommy, where are we??" Andrea asked stirring awake, I finished unpacking the car and put it on the front steps.
"You're going to visit daddy" I said, her face lit up like a Christmas tree. I feel bad for keeping her from him but I knew it was what was best for him and her at the time.
I grabbed her and sat her down on one of her bags, I crouched in front of her and looked her in the eye. "Remember mommy loves you no matter what, and I'm always with you wherever I am" I said tearing up a bit.
"I love you too mommy, when you come back?" She said looking at me so innocently
"I don't know baby, I don't know, I'll try my best to come back to you though" I said tears streaming down my face. "Bye baby I have to go, I love you so so much"
"Bye mommy" she said giving me a big hug, knowing this maybe our last I hugged her hard.
I stood up and rang the door bell and walked to my car and drove away when I saw him open the door.
"I'm sorry Niall" I whisper to myself, hoping he would love her the way I love her.