This agonizing yet somehow comforting moment of holding his coffee lasted for years of just ten seconds. But these ten seconds were drawn out in some way. Imagine a blob of play dough, someone had stretched it and squeezed every fiber out of it so it was a long strand, until it decided to snap. This snap is exactly when I broke the silence. I did not intend to be the one who made the first stride to talk, but my voice was literally forced from me.
The coffee had no sleeve on, it was a grande decaf soy latte and it was searing through my nerves. When I got lost in his eyes, my thoughts became blurry and my surroundings became meaningless. But the second I kicked back into reality, my hand was forced to let go. My hand had been underneath his so I had to shimmy his hand off as well.
"Ah!" I yelled in pain and nervousness as I waved my burning red hand. Our steady eye contact had broken for the first time as I moved my eyes down on the table. The cup had lost its lid and the coffee was in a splattered puddle, dripping off the sides onto the floor.
This hurt, not physically, but emotionally. When I first saw Harry coming towards the shop, it was like the light at the end of the tunnel had just appeared somehow. I craved this light but I suddenly blocked it out when I dropped the coffee. It was literally the only thing we had left and I watched it spill out onto the dirty floor. Our only bridge to each other had made itself into fine pieces now and it was unfixable.
Thinking of this pushed tears into my eyes. I tried to keep them away but my eyes were already red and puffy. I rubbed under my eyes but that just made them come out faster. "I'm sorry." I muttered quitely, probably unheard to Harry. Then my breathes became quick and staggery, I couldn't help the embarrassing cry I had while Harry just stood there.
I watched Harry out of the corner of my eye as his face turned from surprised to concerned, and then he moved closer. I felt the warm hands tightened around me, and his head rested on top of my shoulder. I wrapped my arms around him too, his hug made me feel safe and secure, something I had missed out on for months. Because of his embrace, I was able to bury my head in his warmth and cry in secret. No one could see my tears, but I was sure I had the attention of just about everyone in the shop.
I never wanted to let go, even though I knew I was about to be fired from the only job I had. I held onto him and laid my head across his chest. My sobs had stopped and he still was mute.
I heard clatter and people moving behind me, I had hoped people would just carry on with their business and ignore the awkward girl in the corner. Though the longer I held onto Harry, the less aware I became of my situation. Unfortunately this haziness came to an abrupt halt when I heard my bosses strict voice from behind me.
"Sara, are you alright?"
I jerked out of Harry's arms and I immediately felt the chilling air and her harsh eyes on me. She seemed upset more than angry. I looked around and saw the store had been closed up, customers were leaving, the milk and drink had been cleaned, and the only real mess here was... me I concluded. I continued searching for a reason to how this happened and I looked at Charlotte. When Charlotte saw I was staring, she gave me a wink which triggered instant joy within me.
Turning back to my boss, I said, "I'm sorry you had to see me like this, it won't happen again." I tried in my best obedient, innocent voice.
"Alright, get on home girls."
I knew I owed everything to Charlotte then, I just couldn't thank her enough. She had save me so many times in my depression moods and now my job. I made a mental note to thank her right before my attention turned back to the problem that had been gnawing away at me, little by little for months and had now grown to be a dangerous hole in my heart. Now was the only chance I would get to fill it back in.
I hung my apron and came back and dragged Harry outside by his hand. The door swung shut behind us and I was unmoving again, staring down at the deep crack in the sidewalk, separating our feet. The hot wind blew into the strands of my hair and I held both his hands close. Finally, after gathering the information in my head, I looked up at him and into his thoughts.
"I have always loved you, Harry. That will never change...and I want you to believe me when I say this. I really hope you feel the same way, because otherwise I am never going to find happiness and... my point is, I don't know what you think, but I love you. And I will never love anyone else like I love you." I wanted to continue but he interrupted.
"Then why did you ignore me, Sara? I tried to... I came to your house." His voice became shaky. "But you weren't there." He shook his head back and forth.
"It didn't happen like that. When we Facetimed in the car that day you hung up before I could explain." My feelings got to me and I trembled.
"Alright. Explain, explain it." He spoke with defiance.
I took a breathe and started, "My house went into foreclosure." Then I stopped and let out a cry, but I forced myself to continue. "We were forced to pack up immediately and get out. We went to a motel and I got a job at that coffee house. On the day we were packing up to leave I had no time for anything else. When I was in the car after we left I saw your texts so I pulled over to call you. When you hung up I felt like I amounted to nothing. I knew you assumed I was moving on and I couldn't do anything about it, because when I tried texting you, it said the message hadn't delivered. You completely blocked me out, Harry... nothing, I was nothing without you." I sobbed now and he wrapped his arms around me again. This time I pushed him away in frustration to understand.
"Sara look..." He pulled out his phone. It looked completely normal, nothing unusual about it. As he stared at me inspecting it with confusion he started.
"I'm sorry I hung up on you, I shouldn't have jumped to negative conclusions. But after I hung up I dropped my phone it was completely broken. I brought it to the store and my manager made me get a new number as well because some fan or paparazzi had leaked my number. I was receiving all kinds of texts and calls from death threats to asking for concert tickets."
"So... we both thought we were blocking each other?" When it was really just the opposite. I finished the sentence in my head.
"I moved away and you got a new phone number." I told him then I gasped at this realization and he quickly embraced me again, knowing I wouldn't push him away. I looked down again and saw the sidewalk. I was on top of the seemingly tiny crack that previously marked the distance between us.
We both pulled away to look at each other. I could feel the hot tears fill up my eyes, Harry took his gentle hand and rubbed them away, "No need for that, love...You know I wasn't doing so great either when we were apart." He admitted.
"It's because we complete each other, as cheesy as that sounds. It's true." I smiled up at him.
He laughed in agreement, "Come on." We grasped hands and he led me to the parking lot. "Follow me in your car." He told me, then he let go and went to his car. I went to mine and started it up.
I didn't care where we were going as long as we weren't separate. At last, our hearts were satisfied and it would stay like that forever. I never wanted to lose him like that again, the feeling of being alone was like having an allergic reaction. Except I couldn't do anything about it, my pain of longing for him just grew and grew like a thick balloon being filled up with distress and anxiousness.
But everything was okay now because I had him back, once again. Telling him what really happened felt like giving off a million pounds. The dark, weighted cloud had hovered around me for so long and finally it was gone. The cloud was gone and the other half of me was back.
I can't thank you enough for reading my story. It's so nice to see my reads climb. The next chapter will come soon so stick around a little longer. Thank you:)