Chapter Six-- The Kiss That Missed
I feel my heart skip a beat as I realize what I just happened, what I just did.
I look into her glimmering green eyes.
She bites her lip.
"Why'd you do that?" She asks.
"I don't know..." I mumble.
She shakes her head and tucks her hair behind her ear.
"Y-Yes you do, or you w-wouldn't have done that..." She stutters, if I've learned anything about her is that he stutters when she's shocked, I'm fairly shocked myself.
I do... She's right.
"You're right..." I mumble.
"Do you want to, I don't know, talk abou-"
"No this was a mistake. I mean, you and me as a-a couple? That's silly." I say nervously laughing.
"Yeah..." She whispers.
"Who are you talking to?" I hear a man ask.
"It's just Aaron." She says.
"Why are you talking to him?" The man asks.
"You should go..." She whispers to me.
"Is that your foster dad?" I ask.
I had recently figured out where the bruises came from, I wanted to talk to this man.
"Aaron, go." She demands.
"No, let me talk to the man." I say.
"Ugh." She let's out of her lungs annoyed.
She grabs my hand and runs pulling me along, she was strong for a small girl.
I didn't live too far away. So we were soon at my house.
"What they hell are you doing?!" She yells at me when we get to my house.
I almost yell back but I control myself.
"I just wanted to talk to him." I say calmly.
"Well you can't." She says.
"And why not?" I ask.
"He's violent." She mumbles.
"Yeah," I pull up her sleeves revealing the bruises not covered by makeup, "I can tell."
She rolls her eyes and pulls her sleeve down.
"I don't want you to get hurt, and I don't remember asking for your help!" She snaps at me.
"Why are you so snappy, and you keep yelling I'm just trying to help." I say clenching my fist trying my hardest not to yell.
"I didn't ask for your help!" She yells.
"Wow you two are loud!" I hear Derek say.
Our eyes shoot towards the living room and there's Derek, sitting on my couch drinking a glass of my mom's red wine.
"Great how long have you been here, and why are you drinking my mom's wine?" I ask.
"Don't worry, your mother won't mind the loss of wine." He says.
"Why are you here?" I ask
He ignores my question and walks over to me. He takes his thumb and wipes it across my bottom lip.
"What the heck I say confused."
He rubs his thumb and index finger together, that little creep. Why do I ever hang out with this guy?
His eyes widen.
"Okay either you and her kissed, or you're wearing lipgloss now. If it's lipgloss, purple lipgloss is not your color, maybe a shade of maroon." Derek says.
"I don't even know what the heck a maroon is." I say.
"Oh it's this really pretty shade of-" Angel starts to say but Derek stops her.
"Silence!" Derek yells.
He's drunk, it's so obvious.
"How much of my mom's wine did you drink?" I ask.
He threw me the empty wine bottle.
I go to say something but then he clears his throat, "Angel did you two kiss?" He asks.
Nervousness fills her eyes.
Her head faces the ground, "Yes..." She mumbles.
"Did it mean something?" Derek asks.
I wish I could make her say yes and lift all this stress off of her shoulders, but I can't.
I just wish she'll say yes.
I feel stress fill my body oh so quickly. This one simple answer could change everything, not just that if we'll be together or if we'll be friends at all.
Did it mean something, of course it did, I mean it was a damn kiss. The question is, did it it fill me with love
and joy. The answer to that could only be answered with do I love him? Does my heart speed up when his soft skin touches mine? Does my stomach fill with butterflies whenever I'm with him? Do I get a loss of words when I talk to him because I'm lost in his beautiful blue eyes?
The answer to all of those is yes.
I look at the clock to realize it's only been a few seconds and all those thoughts had already ran a marathon in my mind.
"Did the kiss between me and McLaughlin mean anything?" I mumble to myself.
I close my eyes as tears fill them as I realize what my answer will have to be.
"No, it didn't. I don't like McLaughlin in anyway more than a friend, which he's very good at. I don't want to be anything more then friends with him. He could make some girl very happy, but that girl could never be me. I'm sure he doesn't want to be friends with the bitch who gave this answer about her feelings the day he kissed her," I clench my fist as a tear rushes down my face, trying to hold anymore tears from escaping, "But if he does... That would make me very happy." I answer.
I look at Derek, shock fills his pale, almost white, face.
I look at Aaron, he looks emotionless. He doesn't look happy, mad, sad, no emotion at all.
I feel embarrassment fill me along with regret and anger that it lied.
I run into Aaron's room and I go onto his bed cry.
I don't know why I went into Aaron's room, but it feels like a safe spot, I have no idea why though.
I'm not quite sure the reason for all the tears running out of my green eyes and down my tan cheek, but they were flowing faster than water from a broken dam.
Derek comes in and sits next to me and places his pale hand on my shoulder.
"Where's Aaron?" I ask.
"He left…" Derek answers.
"Where to?" I ask.
"He said he had to do something important." Derek responds.
Tears still rushing down my face I nod slightly.
"Why are you crying so much?" Derek asks.
"Like you care." I mumble wiping my eyes and smearing my already screwed up mascara.
"You're right, I honestly don't care what your giant boring sob story is, but I care about you." Those words surprised me, he's drunk. He's only sounding like this because he was drunk.
I don't know what quite happened and why I did what I did in that exact moment in time, maybe I was desperate for some happiness, maybe I was confused, or maybe I just wasn't thinking.
Probably the last one, because at that moment, when he told me he cared about me... I kissed him.
When my lips fell onto his he didn't resist, I blame it on the alcohol. If he was sober he wouldn't be kissing me right now. If my emotions were stable I wouldn't be kissing him right now.
But him and I were both messed up at the moment. We both just made a huge mistake him and I would grow to regret.
But at this moment, him and I were kissing... Kissing like this wasn't the room where the man who had just kissed me four hours ago sleeps at night.