Chapter Seven-- Gone Like The Wind
I can basically feel my heart beat out of my chest. What have I done? How could this happen? How could I allow this to happen?
Derek looks at me… He’s sobering up. The more sober he becomes the more regret that fills his eyes.
His dark black hair that has a perfect quaff doesn’t match his skin at all. His skin is as white as paper and his hair was as dark as a never-ending hallway at night. The only color in his whole body was his eyes. He had very beautiful blue eyes. Even though his eyes were also pale they still looked amazing.
“Why the hell did we-“
“I have no idea…” I interrupt him.
We sit there, feeling awkward and somewhat embarrassed. At least we didn’t have sex… This would be even worse…
“Should we tell Aaron?” He asks.
“Why the heck would we do that?” I ask.
“I don’t know…” He mumbles.
“This didn’t happen; none of this happened.” I say.
“He wouldn’t be too upset; this isn’t the first time the girl chose me.” Derek mumbles.
“I’m not picking you! Do not over think this! This didn’t mean anything! Nothing at all! Let’s agree it never happened.” I snap.
“Never happened?” He asks.
“Never happened.” I repeat.
He slightly nods.
I do the dishes. Once I’m done I turn around to see him smoking a cigarette.
“Why do you do that?” I ask.
“Do what?” I hate when people answer my questions with more questions.
“Smoke, it has no benefits for your body.” He rolls his eyes and blows smoke of his mouth before answering.
“It helps with stress.” He simply says.
I didn’t like his answer but I strangely understood, damn what I’d do for stress relief.
“And I’m 18, you’re 17 why aren’t you in school?” He asks.
“I graduated when I was 16…” I mumble.
He flicks ashes into the bowl Aaron’s father uses to flick his ashes into.
I stare at the cigarette as it slowly shortens wondering how something so small and so dangerous could help with stress. Is it the feeling? It had to be.
Derek catches me staring at his cigarette and chuckles.
“You could’ve just asked.” He says through some coughs.
He pulls out a simple cigarette and hands it to me and a lime green lighter.
“I can’t….” I mumble, “I’m not 18….”
He walks over to me and stands next to me. He drops his cigarette into the draining water.
“I know you drink…” He mumbles, “And I know you do, or at least did, drugs, so I don’t want to hear you talk to me about the legal system because you’ve already broken it enough.” Derek says.
“How on earth-“
“I saw you at Jarrod’s party last year. I talked to you there. You probably wouldn’t remember you were so wasted I’m shocked if you even remember the party itself.”
“You saw me like that?”
“Hell yeah! You ended up going home with my boy Cam.”
I did stay the night with a boy that night… His name was Cam.
“That was me last year… I’ve changed.” I say.
“NO, you’re still the same girl.” He says.
He holds out the cigarette once again.
I feel like I’m under pounds of pressure… I give up.
I reach out and take it. I light it and take in a breath.
I sort of get a feeling of relief… It was only for a few moments though. Soon that feeling left my body and soon again I felt all the stress come back only making me want another puff.
I cough during my second puff.
He chuckles as he lights himself another.
“Sometimes one just is not enough.”
Then with a cigarette in one mouth he bends down and pulls a beer out of his bag. He hands me one.
I don’t want to drink, I don’t want to smoke, I don’t want any of this.
Oh where the hell is Aaron?
Where the hell am I?
I went out to walk, to think. Now I think I’m lost. I’ve never walked this far before…
I still keep walking.
I wasn’t like mad, sad, nor happy about this whole thing. I didn’t feel any emotion towards it.
But, one thing did upset me. I wasn’t necessarily “upset” but much regret fills me. I feel regretful because the fact I stayed in this town. Why did I stay here, I have nothing.
Then one name (once again) loomed its way into my mind.
“Angel…” I whisper to myself.
I chose for God to give me a sign if I should stay… Or go.
I call Angel, no answer. I call again but it was the same result.
Maybe this is the sign I’ve been asking for since I turned 18.
I wanted a reason to stay and Angel’s friendship was that reason. But Angel is gone… Everyone is gone. There’s no point in me staying… I’m leaving. I’m not gonna come back, there’s no point.
Where would I go?
Right now, I’m not going to think about that. Right now, I just need to get home.
I turn around and retrace my footsteps.
I look at the sky and see the sun setting.
The silhouette of the trees over me from head to toe and a shiver runs down my spine.
It’s getting cold. Lately the days have been cool, but the nights are freezing. Like at night it would snow but the rays of the morning sunlight would quickly melt them.
Soon, I found myself at my house, the last time I’d be here. I walk in to find Derek and Angel sitting on the couch, drunk and laughing.
“Derek and Angel?” I ask in pure confusion.
Angel sees me and her eyes light up like a Christmas tree.
“Aaron!” She yells.
She runs over to me and holds herself up with my shoulders.
“Angel… Have you been drinking?” I whisper.
“Aaron! I thought you were gone forever.” She says.
“Um nope, I haven’t left.”
“Thank God!” She yells, “Hey, Aaron, when are your parents getting back from that trip thingy?” She asks through her giggles.
“Next week, why?” I ask.
“That means… I can keep drinking!”
She runs over to the refrigerator.
I stand in front of the refrigerator.
“NO I think you’ve had enough, too much actually.” I say.
“Just one more!” She begs.
“No, you should go to bed.” I say.
“Ye-yeah, you’re right.” She stutters.
“Okay, let’s go.” I start walking, but she doesn’t move.
“Come on.” I say.
“Can you carry me?” She asks. I roll my eyes.
“Fine, just… Ugh, don’t mess up my hair.” I say.
She jumps on my back. I carry her into my room and lay her down.
I cover her up.
“You really care about me.” She says poking the tip of my nose.
“Yep.” I mumble.
I pull up a chair and I sit next to her.
“I’m going to sit here until you fall asleep.” I say.
“Really? You’re not going to move?” She asks.
“Until you’re asleep I’m right here.’ I say.
She curls herself up into the blanket; it was quiet for a bit. Then right before she fell asleep I heard her whisper the words, “Thank you Aaron.”
Then she falls asleep.
I gentility kiss her forehead then I grab my suitcase that has sat in front of my front door for, I don’t even know how long, and pack my stuff up. I walk outside and get one last good look at the house then… I got in my car and drove away.