Chapter 12-- Everything Is Made To Be Broken
I can't believe I said I loved her, I guess it was a kinda moment thing. I was embarrassed as hell though.
I pull the sharp objects back out when I see Angel wake up.
I wet a rag and I walk back into the room, she was sore. I told her standing up wasn't something needed to do. If she laid in bed I'd make sure she was fine.
I walk into the bedroom.
"Aaron, I'll be fine." She tries to force herself up but she doesn't have much energy, from the shock and he did hurt her a lot.
I take the rag and I wipe off the dry blood on her cheek.
"Aaron, you don't have to take care of me." She mumbles.
"I know... I want to." I respond.
She sighs, "Are you thirsty?" I ask.
"Angel.. I want to help you."
She doesn't say anything. I roll my eyes and I walk over to my dresser and I grab a shirt and I take off my shirt. Before I put on my other one I feel a hand on my shoulder.
"Aaron your back." Angel says.
"It's fine." I mumble.
I put on my shirt and walk out of the room.
I stumble out of the room. I hold myself up on the wall.
"No you're not fine!" I yell.
"Yes I am." He says. He sits down. I stumble over to him and I sit down.
"No you're not!" I yell.
"Yes I am Angel!" He yells.
"No you're not fine! Nothing's fine! Not after what happened with John, nothing will be okay! Nothing will be fine. You're not fine-"
"Neither are you!"
Tears start rushing down my face.
"I know I'm not fine! But what the hell am I expected to do huh?! Sit back and wait!?"
"Wait for what?!" He yells.
"Wait for you to hurt me too!" I finally yell.
Shock fills his eyes.
"I'm not going to-"
"Don't say it!" I yell, "Goddamn it, goddamn it, goddamn it! Why does it have to be like this!? Why can't everything be the way it should!? Why is everything made to be broken!? And why the hell can it never be fixed!? And why the hell does it hurt so much when you're left!? Why is there pain!? I don't understand anymore!"
"I don't know..." Aaron mumbles.
I sob into a pillow. He sits there biting his lip speechless, I guess I sorta caught him off guard.
"Why is it so hard!? Everything and everyone always ends up hurting me!? Everything is made to be broken! Why does it have to be like that!" I yell.
"What brought this on...?" He asks.
"I'm sick of being hurt..." I whisper, "I'm sick of it, I'm sick of it, I'm sick of it, I'm done with it!" I say my voice getting louder.
Aaron hugs me. I cry into his shoulder and he runs his fingers through my hair in attempt to calm me down.
"Did... Derek ever tell you?" I whisper.
"Tell me what?" He asks releasing the hug.
"... We need to talk." I whisper.
He looks at me confused.
I feel a sweat come on.
"Derek and I kissed.." I mumble.
"Is that all?" He asks shocked.
"And... My past..." I mumble.
He looks at me confused, "Angel you don't have to tell me anything about your past. I know you've had a hard life you don't have to-"
"I know..." I whisper, "I want to..."
"I'm sure you heard of when Cam and I hooked up." I mumble.
He nods, "Yeah... He's one to kiss and tell."
"Well... I didn't want to." I say.
"Wait did he rape you?!"
"No! Nothing like that... He... Paid me." I mumble.
"Paid?" He gets confused.
"... Aaron... At that time... I needed money. I needed it bad. I was lucky to get a full meal a day." I say.
"Wait did you... Um... I don't know how to quite say this..."
"I know... Me neither.." I mumble.
"When did you stop, like are you-"
"No I'm not still doing it... I stopped about four months ago."
"We met about three and a half..." He mumbles.
I stand up and walk into the kitchen and I pull out the wine.
"What are you doing?" He asks.
"I need a drink." I answer.
He takes the wine from me.
"No stop acting like this." He says.
"Like what?" I ask.
"Like this! You're crying, you're stressed, you're telling me nasty things from your past-"
"Did you want me to just keep it from you forever!?" I yell.
"That would've been better! I'm sorry I just don't want to hear about your days that you were just a whore!" He yells.
I slap him.
He looks at me shocked, "You think I'm proud of that shit! I'm embarrassed as hell! I thought you'd accept me!" I yell.
He doesn't say anything.
I take a deep breath.
I walk into the bedroom and I grab a suitcase.
"What are you doing?!" He yells.
"I'm leaving! Okay?! You won't have to slutty whore here anymore!" I scream.
"Where are you going to go!? Huh!? You don't have anywhere to go! You don't have friends, you don't have family, you have nothing besides me and my family! I know that's hard to take in and accept but that's the cold hard facts! You don't have anything Angelica Harris besides me and my family!" He yells.
I clench my jaw and I turn around.
"I know that! You think I don't know that! Like I said today, everything is made to be broken! Like us!" I scream.
I can't believe I actually said that.. Sadness fills his eyes.
I take a deep breath and I grab my suitcase. I start to walk out but he grabs my arm.
"Angelica... Please..." He mumbles, "I can't be without you..."
I can't be without him either...
"Yeah.. I can't be without you either... But I guess we'll have to learn huh McLaughlin?" I storm out and slam the door behind me.