The Great Walrus Heist

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  • Published: 11 Feb 2014
  • Updated: 11 Feb 2014
  • Status: Complete
The story of an epic adventure of a Scientist which saves all walruses from death to protect the earth.


1. My time on the boat

1st Day on the boat


Walruses, I love Walruses. I was heading for a walrus discovery trip with this crew I hired. They didn’t seem very trustworthy but they were very cheap to hire. We were heading to Greenland to find some walruses and record them reproducing. We will then analyze the growth of the baby within the Walrus and then we will help with the birth by cutting open the walruses belly and analyzing it’s insides.  My dear friend, John Smith, Manager of the Animal Bones museum, funded this project. 


2nd Day on the boat


We’ve finally reached some icy islands off the western coast of Greenland.  These tribesmen that worship the Walrus Gods occupy the islands. At night I left the island to go sleep on the ship and I heard some screams from outside, thinking it was nothing I went back to sleep.


3rd Day on the boat


This morning the food tasted kind of weird. Reminded me of monkey meat. None of the crew was eating with me. They said they weren’t hungry which astonished me because they usually are very greedy with food. By the end of the day we had reached one the big islands between Canada and Greenland and we were hoping to prove the theory of a rare species of Walruses on the island. The ‘Walrooses’ apparently had penises in the face. And ate through the rectum. This was very strange and required a lot of studying. This may have been the effect of a test Canadian nuke on an island close to this walroos island. Maybe the radiation affected their way of being. Me and crew are going to be wearing armor because the walrooses are very carnivorous and tend to reproduce with their dead prey.  

Later that day,


We found the walrooses, we fed them some meat that the crew had. The walrrooses loved it. We injected horse hormones inside the walrooses. After that they repdroduced non-stop.



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