Imagine to @Selenatorbeliebing
Today it had been 2 weeks since Justin and I broke up, or not exactly broke up… I left Justin without letting him know, why I did it. But simply I left him because I wasn’t good enough for him. He deserved to be with a girl that was pretty and thin, not an average girl like me… So the only thing I left him with was a note that said “I’m sorry, I just can’t do this anymore… It’s not you, it’s me” that’s all…
Luckily my friend Emma had let me stay with her, even though she thought I was being stupid, because she apparently knew how much Justin loved, even though I didn’t know, because he never told me.
Today Justin and I could have been together for 2 years, but I ruined it all, and now that I did, I actually kinda regretted it.
I loved Justin with all my heart, but I didn’t deserve him, he was so much better than me, I don’t even know, why he stayed with me for this long?
Even though I wanted to stay in bed all day and watch sad love movies and eat ice cream, I couldn’t… I really wanted to go to the park, where Justin and I met, it was a special place for both of us, and we would always go there, whenever we felt down, sometimes alone, sometimes together. Today I had to do it alone…
I got out of bed and took a quick shower, then I got dressed in a pair of tights, a black, loose dress and a sweet cardigan in some red-ish colors.
For shoes I wore a pair of high heeled boots in black, my makeup was the usual, and my hair was just the waves I had made the day before.
I grabbed my bag and phone, then I went downstairs and said good morning to Emma.
She smiled at me and took a sip of her coffee.
“Good morning” she said back, then she turned her attention towards the TV again.
“Where are you going today?” she asked as I sat down beside me, I sighed and grabbed her coffee, then I also took a sip of it.
“Justin and I could have been together for 2 years today” I told her, Emma sighed and placed the coffee on the table.
“You now my opinion about this” she explained, I leaned back and in the couch and closed my eyes. I did know her opinion, she kept saying how it was my fault that I would never get to experience that day with Justin, which I totally understood, because it was.
“I know” I told her, then I stood up and grabbed my belongings. Today was a typical autumn day, but even though the sky was filled with clouds, it was actually pretty hot outside, so I decided not to grab my jacket.
I yelled goodbye to Emma, then I went out of the front door and over to my bike. I didn’t have a car, because I didn’t have a drivers license, because I didn’t want one, because Justin had a drivers license, and I never thought I would get to use it, but I regret it now.
It took me about 20 minutes to cycle to the park, which isn’t that long, if you consider my slow tempo, because I was really lazy and depressed today.
I found the bench Justin and I used to sit on and sat down. I sighed and closed my eyes, I tried imagine Justin being here.
“I’m sorry Justin, I’m just not good enough for you! You deserve someone else, someone who will love you and will look absolutely amazing, all the things that I’m not and will never be” I mumbled to myself as a tear ran down my red cheeks.
Did she really feel this way? Didn’t she think she was good enough for me? I had heard it all, because apparently Y/N and I had gotten the same idea…
How could she feel this way? Y/N was way too good for me, and she was the one that deserved better! I was just the guy that fucked up his whole life, and in order to get it back on track he got help from his beautiful and amazing girlfriend, well now ex-girlfriend…
I slowly walked over to Y/N and sat down beside her, luckily she hadn’t heard me. She still had her eyes closed, but tears were streaming down her beautiful and perfectly round cheeks, which made me all sad.
“Do you really feel this way?” I asked her, which made her jump and scream a little bit.
“Justin, what are you doing here?” she asked me as she stood up and grabbed her things.
“Seems like you already know, since you’re here, too” I told her as I stood up. Y/N cleared her throat and started walking away, but I quickly grabbed her hand and stopped her from walking away from me once more…
“Do you really feel this way?” I asked her once again, Y/N sighed and looked up at the sky as she nodded her head.
I couldn’t resist anymore, I need to feel her touch, so I pulled her close and embraced her in my arms. Y/N let out a big sob as she finally started hugging me back. I placed my chin on top of her head and closed my eyes. I had missed this feeling so much.
Y/N was my everything, and I never knew how to tell her. I had so much to say, but only a few words, I couldn’t even properly tell her that I love her, I was too weak!
“I’m sorry you feel this way” I lowly said, “I love you so much, Y/N! You are the most important person in my life, without you I’m nothing, I don’t even know how to live my own life, because you are my life, my everything” I continued. Y/N slightly pulled away from me, but she kept her arms around my waist.
“Are you serious?” she asked me as a small smiled played on her lips. I nodded my head and smiled widely.
“I know, I’m not the best at saying ‘I love you’ or ‘you look gorgeous’, but I really do love you and even, when you’re wearing sweatpants and a hoodie, you look absolutely amazing!” I told her, Y/N smiled widely and bit down in her lip.
“You have no idea how good it feel to finally hear you say those words” she told me. I grabbed her jaw and leaned down towards her.
“I missed you so much” I told her, then I placed my lips on her plumb and beautiful lips.
“Please come back home! The house is nothing without you, I really need you to be there with me! Our bed is empty” I told her, Y/N nodded her head and sat down on the bench. I sat down, too, and Y/N grabbed my hands.
“I’m sorry for not confront you with my problem, I just really didn’t think you loved me. I love you so much, Justin! And the fact that I had nothing to work with, you gave me nothing, you actually never told me that you loved me” she told me, guilt filled my body, I didn’t feel good at all! How could I not see, she was hurting?
I had just been too busy with my new album, I wanted it to be perfect, I wanted it to be perfect for Y/N, because music is the only way I can express myself!
“I’m so sorry, baby! The only way I can express myself is through my music! All the music I write is for you” I told her as I tightened my grip around her hands.
“Do you really mean that?” she asked me, and I eagerly nodded my head.
“I promise to be better at telling you how much I love you, because I really do! I promise to give you more compliments, because you do look absolutely amazing all the time” I told her, Y/N smiled widely and intertwined our fingers.
“You’re so cute, baby” she told me, GOSH just hearing her call me that made my whole body warm.
“Will you please move back home?” I asked her,
“There’s nothing I want more” she told me, then she placed her tasty lips on mine in a passionate kiss. Finally my baby was back in my arms, and I never intended to let her go, ever again!
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- Amalie xo