1. dreams and reality
"One day our dreams and reality will collide." Harry whispers to me "one day razors will be used for shaving again." I whisper back "one day cutting will be arts and crafts again." "One day."
Harry and i lie in bed dreaming. Soon he will go on tour leaving me behind to deal with my demons that he has helped me get rid of. "What are you thinking of my love." "Having to deal with my demons again." He frowns "your not gonna cut while I'm gone are you." I ponder for a moment. I don't want to lie to him so what should i say. "I don't make promises."
We get to the airport the next morning and i say good bye to the boys. Harry stays last and it seems like were frozen. "Don't fall in love with any fans while your gone." He laughs. "Don't fall in love with any boys while I'm gone." I snort "its not likely anyone will fall in love with me." "Don't say that love. You are the most beautiful creature i have ever laid eyes on." I just look down not wanting to believe a single word "its time for you to go Harry." "Okay love, ill see you in ten months." I grin "i'll see you in ten months."
Its been rough since harry has been gone. My bullies are still going strong and my heart is just hanging by a thread. Ive only cut four times in a time span of six months. I talk to harry every night and that helps. "Hey bitch hows Harry doing." The school jock sneers at me with the ret of his crew behind him like a fucking mean girl group.
"He's doing just fine." I reply. "I thought he was like fucking A Jenner or was it like a Kardashian." A fake blonde says while twirling her hair.Wow there so stupid i just wish that i wasn't so scared of people. "Im not sure aren't you like fucking like a football player or was it like a soccer player." I say acting the same way as she did. I earned a few chuckles from the crowd. "You slut go fucking kill yourself like Jason." "Don't talk about him." I reply bitterly. "Aww do u miss him. He was just as retarded and emo as you are." The blonde bitch was towering over me now. "Your just a retarded bitch." Without thinking i pull out the blade i had in my pocket and cut her across the face. "IF YOU EVER. TALK ABOUT HIM AGAIN I WILL BLIND YOU AND YOUR FAKE ASS FRIENDS." "Oh my god you emo bitch." I walk down the hallway and away from the cluster of pops. I hate them. There the ones that drove Jason to take his life. As i walk into my home. Old memories collide into me all at once making me fall onto my knees. Why. Thats my question for lots of things. Whats keeping me on this earth. My parents send me money once a month to live on my own and buy things but they don't care about me. I obviously don't have any friends. So whats keeping me here. The curly headed cheeky boy that has those bright green eyes is. He gives me hope and thats what i need most. Stay here Lana. For him if not for anyone else. I drop the blade that was in my hand and walk over to my living room. I watch old movies of me and Jason. Times were so much easier than.
Its finally time for harry to come home. I don't really need to impress harry so i just sit on my couch in a pair of Jason's pyjama shorts. Im watching home videos of me and Jason in ocean city. I find myself laughing at us getting caught under the waves and slipping on the sand. Im so wrapped up in the video i don't notice harry standing behind me. I stand up to go get something to drink and nearly die when i see him. "OH MY GOD I DIDNT SEE YOU THERE." He chuckles but soon after his face turns serious. Who is that Lana and why are you wearing boys pajamas." I breath heavily and begin the story.
"Wow i never knew." "Hey most people don't know." "You loved him didn't you." "Like a brother." I reply. "Do u love me like a brother." I have to think for moment about his question but ultimately its a no. "harry you gave me hope when i needed if most. You loved me when i thought no one else did. You protect me endlessly. I need you in brotherly way but i want you in a lover way. If that makes sense." I smile up at him and whisper "so no i don't love you like a brother. I love you." He crashes his lips on to mine and our lips move in sync together. "I love you lana and one day our world will be perfect together."