Mom came straight down to the hall and I saw that she was angry at me.
"Where have you been and how do you look? Whose's that jacket?"
I swallowed and looked down at the floor.
"I hung out with a friend and happened to fall asleep in his room.It's his jacket and I'll return it."
Mom sighed and I realized that there would be retribution. She hugged me, but didn't know if it was the right thing.
"Why didn't you call? We were worried and I went up half the night looking for you."
I wanted to cry, because I felt hopeless. I hadn't won anything on the weekend and the only thing I had learned was that not everything become as I fantasized.
She released me and looked at me closely. She tried to stay calm, but I saw that she had to fight.
"Most importantly is that you're back home and you're alive."
I nodded dull.
I threw myself on the bed and looked up at the ceiling. It felt so remote that I had been touching Sandra. She had taken my virginity and I didn't dare tell her that. I loved her more than ever and I pondered how I would now go ahead. She would be mine. She would one day say that she loved me and she would leave Jeff for good. That was my plan.
Jeff wasn't home. I looked everywhere in his neighborhood, but he was nowhere. In the end, I went home to his best friend Charlie and asked.
"I didn't see him yesterday." I got in response. "The police surrounded the whole area, but I doubt that they found him. He sat with a bunch guys deep in the woods."
"Where shall I look?"
Charlie sighed and looked down over my body. I knew what Jeff's buddies were thinking about me. They thought that I loved having sex with guys and that I wanted to have them all at the same time. Therefore, I chose to back away from him and went to the door.
"Can't you stay?"
I shook my head.
"I have to find Jeff and I need to know how it is with him."
I walked along the street and realized that it was useless to look around. Therefore, I went home to my home and quickly noted that my parents weren't home. I showered and changed clothes. Then I sat down at the cell phone and hit his numbers. I hadn't brought my phone to the party, but he hadn't either tried to reach me. The answering machine was running and directly, I left a message.
I went to Jeff's apartment again and I sat on the stairs outside the door. I leaned against the wall and waited for him. I don't know how long I sat there, but my thoughts spun around Niall. He hadn't tried to exploit me and he didn't seem to be the guy who demanded something from me. His hands were so soft and his kisses were so perfect. How could a guy be so perfect?
"Are you here?"
Jeff came up the stairs and he had a girl behind him. I recognized her from the party and I understood that he had been with her. I was hurt but as always, I showed nothing.
"Yes, I was worried!"
He looked uncertainly at me and turned around to the girl.
"You have to go!"
She didn't like it and she gave me a dirty look, yet she left us alone, and disappeared down the stairs. Jeff looked at me again and I saw that he was ashamed. I stood up and didn't dropped him with my eyes.
"So you were with her?"
He cleared his throat lightly and picked up the keys.
"No, I just met her when we ran from police. You know, we took the company."
We got into his apartment and I felt just tired. I realized I was living a life that I didn't want. I was with a cheating boyfriend who took drugs and that only had me as a possession. He hugged me and gave me a quick kiss.
"You got away?"
"I ran the other way as soon as I heard they were coming."
Jeff nodded with satisfaction and looked at me.
"I was so far away that they couldn't find me."
I assumed that I had already understood it.
"I was worried."
He smiled and pulled up my dress and as soon as he started to pull down my panties, I backed away from him.
"Is it just about sex to you?"
He was surprised.
"What do you mean?"
I straightened my clothes and pulled a few more steps back.
"You fuck around with all the girls and you have me as a possession. Wouldn't you want more out of life than this? Yesterday was it all chaos and you didn't even have time to be worried about me, What would you have done I was sitting in prison now and in if they had got hold of me?"
I saw that he didn't like the subject. He never liked to talk it out, or talk about serious things. For him it was all a game and he didn't even take my word for it.
"But, darling?" he got out of it. "You know how I am and what's wrong with me? I had given way, looking you up and ..."
I shook my head.
"You had lied here and fucked with that girl. You weren't even worried about me. Damn you!"
I was about to leave his apartment, but he quickly came up to me and took his arms around my body.
"Don't leave me!" he got out himself and sounded genuinely sorry. "I'm sorry I don't always think about the right stuff, but I had been looking for you."
I felt his hands slip inside the dress and his hands was cupped over my breasts.
"Come on!" he got out himself and I knew he was excited. He was always such a guy after all the party and I hated it. I didn't mind when he pulled down my panties. I didn't mind when he forced me to stand on all fours. I didn't even receive when he penetrated.
"We belong together!" exclaimed Jeff when he was finished. He stood up and pulled up his pants. "Don't be so damn normal and stop thinking that everything is about you."
I put on my clothes and looked at him coldly.
"Do you love me?"
He looked coldly at me and grinned.
"I hate those words. Anyone can say they love a person, but what's love?"
I still remembered Nialls words, when he honestly said he loved me. I knew that he meant every word and I wished I could feel the same.
"But what am I to you?"
He came up to me and gave me a light kiss on the cheek.
"You're my woman, you're my everything and I will always be with you. Isn't that enough?"