Clara has always had social anxiety, but with every year it gets worse, until one year everything is too much for her. Everything she's been through has shaped her into someone she never would have imagined. Her wrists and thighs are stained, and people have begun to see through her disguise. They've made her into the monster she's become. Can she escape all the bullies and her thoughts, or will she give in to the pain?


3. The past

Clara's whole life truly blew up in grade eight, 2 years ago. 

She's dated a lot of boys, but that's because Clara's always believed in giving everyone a chance. The only problem she'd always had was that she did, and still does believe in true love. She was never good with her emotions, and she'd always fall for the boys who would take advantage of her, and knew how to do it so that she still felt like they did really love her. 

In grade eight, Clara met a boy who was not like any of the boys she'd ever dated before. He was a year younger, but they were still extremely close. His name was Nathan. 

Clara and Nathan were basically inseparable since they met. They were best friends, who fell in love with each other.

He was sweet and innocent, and kind. The two had so much in common, they knew everything about each other. And after a couple months, they started dating.

The only problem with their relationship was that Clara didn't know how to treat a boy like Nathan. She'd never had anyone care about her like that before. 

Because of her past, Clara didn't really believe that he loved her.... even though he did. 

They dated for around four months before Clara got scared. She spent two weeks terrified that he would betray her like all the others. She started to go insane over it, and even convinced herself that she didn't love him.

After two weeks of debating it, Clara broke up with Nathan, but it was bad. It crushed him, and she pretended not to notice.

It took her a couple months to realize how awful she had been, and how badly she had hurt him.

Clara's always had people hurt her, or she hurts them. No one has stayed with her. 

She doesn't talk to her mother. 

She hasn't for years, 9 years to be exact. Since her sister was born. They're Clara's family and she loves them, but they hurt her too. 

Clara's sister is the only reason she's still alive, the only reason she's put up with everything for so long after giving up. 

Since her sister arrived she'd been jealous of her, but she wants to be the best older sister she can be, she wants to help her sister, so that she doesn't make the mistakes that Clara has. Clara knows that her sister would be absolutely devastated and broken if anything happened to her. It's the only reason she's still enduring the pain of her everyday life.


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