The Dark and Fallen

If I told you what I was, would you turn your back on me?
And if I seem dangerous, would you be scared?
I get the feeling just because everything I touch isn't dark enough,
That this problem lies in me.
I'm only a guy with a candle to guide me,
I'm taking a stand to escape what's inside me.
You're trying to save me, stop holding your breath.
Your eyes they shine so bright, I wanna save that light.

He was dark, the fallen- a fallen angel


3. Chapter 3



      Steel metal colored clouds consume the sky and come my way. The moon disappears behind them and the light turns out. A crack of lightning jumps in the sky and the sound pierces my ears. It is raining in New York. The rain falls heavily, straight down and creates a blur.  A sheet of rain cascades off the roof gutters, the loud sound of rain pinging is comforting. This daytime rain smells sweet. A smell so fragile I need to inhale deeply to guess its fragrance, clean and crisp like mountain air.  Childhood memories of searching for four-leaf clover, cartwheels, and skipping home to snack on Wonder bread, buttered and sugared permeate my mind.  Coolness surrounds my shoulders and I close my eyes to relish the moment and the smell of rain. I couldn't help but take a deep breath as I take in and slowly enjoyed the smell of fresh rain. 
        I was holding my beloved red umbrella over my head as I jumped in a small puddle with my cherry red rain-boots. I decided to take a late night stroll through Central Park to enjoy the wonderful weather. I remembered when I was little how my dad would sing: I’m singing in the rain, singing in the rain, what a glorious feeling…  Without realizing, I started singing the song as well. I sang it softly and delicately. Where as my father would have just sang his heart out, not noticing anyone else in the park but us. I always admired him for that. He was always so sure of what he wants to do, and he would be determined to finish it with a proud and happy spirit even without anyone's approval. Everything was so perfect when he was with me. But I knew someday he would have to leave me, I just didn't know that it would be so soon. Death took him away from my mom and I on a sad day when he was in a tragic accident. Now my mother got a new husband and hardly cares about me. She doesn't drink alcohol or beat me like I know some mothers would. But most of the time when she is alone she would mope around and feel depressed. When her husband. Robert, was around she would try to put all her attention on him only. But when she is with me, she would treat me like I wasn't the daughter who she used to adore and love. She would pick out every single flaw she can find on me, one flaw each day.

        Ever since I was young I loved climbing onto trees and sitting up there. It made me feel adventurous like I was a superhero. And once I got to the top I would feel a wave of achievement, like I was on top of the world! I was casually humming the melody to myself as I swung myself on to a tree. I sat on the thick tree branch and swung my legs back and forth as I just relaxed in the beautiful day. 
         Suddenly, I heard grunting and a few seconds later a yelp of pain. I couldn't see clearly in this foggy weather so I leaped from trees to trees till I was right above two people. One was lying beneath the tree with a battered up body. His clothes were stained with the red of his blood. His eyelids were closed tightly as his eyebrows scrunched up. His expression looked like he knows he deserved all of this. Coming out of his bruised purple lips was a quick fluent prayer. I felt sympathy for the guy but at the same time admiration. Even though he is in a state where he was getting the crap beat out of him, he still has the time and mind to pray to god.
        Revealing himself from the shadows was the other person. I couldn't see him properly because some leaves were blocking my view and he had his hoodie up. He was wearing dark clothes so it made it hard for me to make out his body but even from here I can tell he is a fit guy. My heart skipped a beat when he spoke. Maybe it was out of surprise, or it could be because his voice sounded husky and so tempting.
        “ You still have the dignity to pray to him?” he snarled. "You betrayed him and decided to stay in hell!"  The beaten up dude continued to ignore him and go on with his praying. "Well if you like the underworld so much I wouldn't mind the pleasure to send you there forever." He took out a long blade and muttered some spell or curse in a weird language. Instantly the blade lit up into a bright shining light, then it dimmed down again. The guy on the ground eye's widened slightly, yet it didn't show any fear nor surprise. The last words the poor man said was, "May god have mercy on you and be merciful enough to send an angel down to tame you wild monster." Then without any sign of hesitation the blade was struck down right through his chest. 
        I didn't make a single noise, not a single movement. I would have but I just couldn't. My mind couldn't quite register what just happened. There were a thousand questions running through my head. What on Earth were they talking about? Did that really man deserve to die like that? What if the hooded guy notices me right now?
         But then I noticed right when he had swished the blade down, his hoodie had fell off. It revealed a head of dark chocolate brown hair. He took off his leather jacket and carelessly bent down to use it to cover the dead man's face and quickly stood up and walked away. As he walked away he ran a hand through his hair, pulling a little to release some stress. I couldn't help but just stare as he yelled into the darkness punching the air as his muscles flexed. Woah, that’s one hottie...   I snapped myself out of it. I can't believe I am here on top of a tree drooling over a murderer's attractiveness. This is so not me. I jumped down the branch and carefully walked to the body thats lying dead on the ground. I started to feel goosebumps growing on my arms because of the fact of a dead man is right in front of me. The corpse's skin was turning very pale and he was very still. I noticed that the jacket wasn't covering the dead man's face. In fact the jacket was far from the body; the guy must have thrown it away too aimlessly.

The cold night air whipped at my face and my teeth started to chatter and the tips of my fingers started to turn color; not much of an attractive sight. Since I have a chance to wear a jacket I'll take the risk and borrow it, I don't want to freeze. I walked over and slipped on the jacket with shivering hands. As I stared back to find the owner of the jacket I felt a wave of deja vu.

        This guy seemed so familiar... As if sensing my gaze he turned around. A pair of toxic, poisonous, ivy green eyes squinted in my direction. For once I was thankful that there was fog in the air. He walked my way to get a better view of me. Unconsciously, I started to walk over too, step by step. Then realiziation hit me hard, I gasped out loudly. Wait a minute... Wasn't this... That was the same guy who sat by me in Science class! He was the one I was thinking about for the past 2 weeks! What was his name again? Right, he was so rude that he didn't give me a name. I started to turn around and bolted back to the tree I was previously hiding on. I debated wether or not to take his jacket off. I decided no since it was definitely cold now. 
        "Show yourself! I know someone's there! Come over and fight like a man, not a coward! Or else I will have no choice but to kill you just like I did with that man. Which might I say  you are quite rude for interrupting without my permission." the stranger yelled as his voice gradually got nearer and nearer. So I did what everybody else would have done as well. I ran. I ran as fast as I can to my house, the faster I can get away from this crazy lunatic the better. I felt a tiny bit better when I saw the many different colored city lights of New York calling for me. I felt tears streaking down my face, as if they were racing to see who can get down first. I don't even know why I'm crying. I guess I'm just overwhelmed and frightened. 
         I arrive to the front door of my apartment. I took off my boots and quietly tip toed through the house. As I passed the house I saw Robert sitting on the couch. Oh shoot. Let me get this straight. I don't hate Robert, in fact he treats me more like a person than mom does. But when he is with mom he acts as if what she is doing to me is alright and normal.
        "Hey, Emily" Robert calls me over. I take a deep breath, turn around, and brace myself for anything that is to come. "I'm really sorry about this morning. Lily had no right to call you a---"
         "Don't worry about it, Im over it already. It happens most of the time anyways. Besides, its not like you do anything to stop it." I shrugged my shoulders as I replied to him in monotone. I didn't want to listen to him anymore because I don't want to relive the horrible memory. So all I said was, "Goodnight Robert." And walked away. I used to say "Goodnight Robert, tell mom I love her." But now I just don't bother. Everyday will be the same; my mother will always find something to insult me about. Either its my clothes, body, grade, popularity, or any other thing that has to do with my life. Sometimes I wonder if Robert ever really tell mom I love her.

I still remember the morning this whole thing started:
        I walked into the kitchen wordlessly. My mother and Robert were to busy flirting and stealing kisses to notice me. I went straight to making my hot coco because I absolutely hate coffee. Me and mom made brief eye contact as she peaked over Robert’s shoulder. But she made no attempt to greet me so I continued to make my own breakfast. When I had just set my dish on the dining table, my “parents” decided to stop being all lovey-dovey. They turned around smiling at each other like idiots but then my mother’s smile turned into a frown. 

        She scoffs and glares at me, “Excuse me young lady but how can you just walk in here when me and Robert were obviously having a private moment? Or at least we were trying to.” Robert just stood aside awkwardly. “And even worse, you come in here but just make breakfast for yourself! How selfish can you be?” she raises her voice.

        “Well sorry for not being perfect!” I responded in a reasonable volume. “But how should I know what you want me to do when you were too busy making out with your husband like your life depends on it?” I tilt my head to the right slightly, then I narrowed my eyes. “Wait, you do depend on him. He is the one who is raising all the money and is actually working. He is the one who is able to bring you into the social world and actually give you a life! So why don’t you get your obnoxious ass over here   and do things yourself for once?!” I exclaimed in a firm and sharp tone.

        My mother stomped up to me and was about to do something with her hands. But something in her eyes changed. She put on a smug smile and poured my cup of hot cocoa on my uneaten breakfast. “Well, I guess you would have to make your breakfast again too.” She slammed my cup down against the table. “Bitch” she muttered and dragged Robert with her out the door. 
        For a second there I thought she was going to slap me. Although she isn’t the sweet loving mother she used to be, she still wouldn’t use violence on me. At least I know part of her is still there.
         That horrible memory was still fresh in my mind as I closed my eyes and wait for my dreams to take me away. Away to a peaceful world where everything is different.        

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