Love, Loss, and Tattoos

(Note: This is my first FanFic and story that I'm posting on Wattpad so it might be crappy. Please be nice and bear with me here >~<) Sarah Bell has been through some really rough times, and she still does to this day. Her parents died when she was too young to remember and was put into many foster homes at a very young age. She ran away from her recent foster home at the age of 15. She is now 18 and lives in an old shabby apartment in New York City by herself where she struggles to survive and pay rent and can barley afford to take care of herself. But, on one fateful day, while roaming the streets of New York City, she meets a guy that will change the rest of her life forever. Good and bad. Nothing will ever be the same again for Sarah Bell. People will fall in love, hearts will be broken and tears will be shed.

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25. Chapter 25

Zayn slammed the door on his way out, leaving me to sit alone on the couch with just my thoughts to accompany me. I stared at the door for a while, hoping he would come back to me, and never leave again.

I gently placed my hands on my stomach and caressed it.

So, this is it. I'm gonna have to raise this baby on my own. He or she is going to grow up without a father and it's partially my fault.

A single tear slid down my cheek and landed on my hand. My grip tightened on my shirt as the reality of the situation began to sink in.

Fuck!

"Sarah? Are you okay?"

I turned around to see the girls all emerge from the kitchen. I had forgotten they were still here.

"Yeah. I'm fine," I said, quickly wiping another tear away.

"Where's Zayn?" asked Jill.

"He's gone," I whispered, it hurt to even say it.

"D-did you guys work things out?" asked Danielle, rather nervous.

Before I could answer the front door flew open and, at first, I thought Zayn had returned for me, but it was just Liam and the others.

We all looked up at the sudden commotion as they all piled inside my living room. They all looked like they had seen a ghost.

"Liam, what the hell are you guys doing here?! This is not the time-"

"Zayn is in the hospital!"

. . .

The day Zayn was put into the hospital was the worst day of my life. Of course, I was in denial. I wouldn't believe it. I just sat there on the couch in a daze as everybody rushed out of the flat, except for me.

"Sarah, come on!" yelled Harry, partially breaking into my thoughts.

He grabbed me by the arm and lifted me off of the couch and I was fully aware of what was going on.

"Where's Zayn?! What the fuck happened to him?!" I yelled at Harry.

He just looked at me with wide eyes and gaping mouth, not knowing what to say.

"Sarah...just calm down and we'll take you to see him. Everything is going to be alright. Okay?"

Harry outstretched his hand out to me and I stared at it for a second before grabbing it. He pulled me through the door and into the black van where everyone else was waiting. I sat in the back with the girls where they comforted me and wiped the tears that I didn't know were falling.

"Shh, it's going to be okay," cooed Eleanor while rubbing my back.

I was freaking out and scared out of my mind. What could've happened to Zayn that made him end up in the hospital? What if he was dying?

"Liam, can you drive any faster?!" yelled Danielle, sensing my frenzied state.

Liam slammed his foot on the pedal and the van sped off faster down the road.

We finally pulled up into the hospital parking lot and I was the first to jump out of the car and run into the building.

"Zayn Malik! Is he okay?!" I yelled at the lady sitting behind the desk.

"Zayn Malik?... Ah, yes. He's in the ICU. No visitors are allowed at the moment until he's put into a room and properly taken care of," she spoke in a raspy tone, her throat probably rotten from years of smoking.

"But I need to see him now!" I screamed and ran down the hall towards the ICU.

"Hey, get back here! I said no visitors! Security!"

I suddenly felt many pairs of hands grab me from behind and pull me backwards. I expected to see a bunch of well built security men, but instead it was just the boys.

I fell to the ground with them on my hands and knees and tried to catch my breath.

"Don't worry! She's with us!" yelled Liam at the desk lady.

I could see a puddle of tears starting to form on the floor in front of my face and I let out a small whimper.

"Come here," I heard Harry murmur in a raspy tone.

I felt my body being lifted off of the ground and wrapped in Harry's arms. He carried me all the way back to the waiting room and sat me down on a random couch.

I grabbed a cushion that was resting next to me and hugged it tightly in my arms, soon drifting off into a deep sleep.

. . .

"Sarah? Hey, Sarah!"

My eyes fluttered open and I came face to face with Harry.

"Wh-what's going on?" I stuttered, the memories of before suddenly replaying in my head.

"We can see Zayn now. He's checked out of the ICU," said Eleanor in a soothing tone but I could sense some worry behind her brave façade.

"Okay," I sighed and slowly sat up on the couch, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes.

They led me down a brightly lit hallway, the fluorescent lights nearly blinding me after just waking up. I fidgeted my hands, picking the nails as I nervously followed everyone, our footsteps echoing in the empty corridor.

We finally came to a random room with a random number that I didn't pay attention to because all I was worried about was seeing Zayn and knowing he was okay. I could care less about anything right now.

"Only three people at a time," said a nurse that had just walked out of Zayn's room.

She gently closed the door and walked away, her high heels clicking against the floor.

"So, who's going in first?" asked Liam.

"Well, Sarah should obviously go in first," said Danielle, looking at me.

I didn't want to speak. I was too worried about Zayn to pay attention to anything else.

"True. I'll go in too," said Liam. "We need one more person."

"I'll go," announced Harry.

"The rest of you can figure out the next three that are going in while we're in there, okay?" said Liam, and everyone nodded.

I was the first to stand by the door. I looked down at the handle. I wasn't ready to see what was behind the door. I wasn't prepared. Not mentally nor physically.

I felt a hand rest on my shoulder and looked up to realize that it was Liam. He gave me a small reassuring smile.

"We're right behind you," he said.

I took a deep breath and reluctantly grabbed the door handle, slowly turning it and opening the door with a small creak.

I slowly walked into the room and I couldn't believe the sight that was before me.

Zayn was barely recognizable, laying on the hospital bed. His head was all bandaged up, patches of blood seeping through the cloth. His left eye was bruised and so were his lips along with several cuts on his face. There was a large patch on the right side of his chest and both his right arm and leg were broken. He was a total wreck.

I covered my mouth in shock, unable to move from where I stood. I wanted to cry on the spot, but I had to be brave for Zayn. I wasn't going to be weak this time.

I balled my hands into tight fists and slowly approached Zayn. His eyes were closed but he was breathing in very steady motions.

"Zayn?" I whispered.

I gently and carefully placed a hand on his shoulder, afraid he would break under my touch considering how fragile his state was. The others gathered around me as we watched Zayn slowly open his eyes, his gaze meeting mine.

"Sarah?" His voice came out in a weak whisper, almost trembling.

A small smile suddenly appeared on his battered face, almost bringing me to tears.

"Yes, Zayn, it's me. I'm here," I choked out in a whisper, tears stinging my eyes.

"I could've sworn you were an angel," said Zayn with a small chuckle but winced in pain, grabbing his side with the arm that wasn't broken.

I sucked in a sharp breath. Watching Zayn in pain was unbearable, he couldn't even laugh without hurting.

Zayn then looked up at Liam and Harry, finally noticing their presence.

"Liam, Louis," he said with a small smile.

"We've been worried sick about you, lad," said Liam, his eyes showing sorrow and concern for his brother.

"You guys don't have to worry anymore. I'm fine now," said Zayn.

"What the hell did you get yourself into, Malik?" asked Harry with a pinch of humor.

I wondered the same thing as well. How did all of this happen?

Zayn looked uneasy and uncomfortable, as if he were embarrassed or ashamed of the answer.

"I...um...got in an accident... With a truck," he confessed, looking down and breaking all eye contact. "I ran a red light."

We all gasped.

"For fucks sake, Zayn. I'm not mad, but you should've been more careful. You know better than that," exclaimed Liam.

You could tell how distressed and worried he was for Zayn.

"Sorry, dad," mumbled Zayn.

"Zayn, you know I care and worry about you."

"Ha ha, yeah I know."

All was silent for a moment. Neither one of us spoke. I, for one, was shocked at the news of Zayn's accident. He could've gotten killed and it terrified the hell out of me. I didn't want to live in a world without Zayn even if we couldn't be together.

"Can I talk to Sarah for a bit? In private?" asked Zayn.

I could sense a hint of worry behind his voice. Liam and Harry quietly left the room, slowly closing the door behind them with a small 'click' from the lock.

My gaze averted back to Zayn who's eyes were now closed, either he was deep in thought or tired from such an eventful night.

He looked so peaceful. I watched as his chest heaved up and down with every breath he took. He didn't deserve this, any of this. It was all my fault he was in this mess. I shouldn't have let him walk out on me. He should've stayed.

Why did he have to go?! If he would've just stayed then all of this could've been avoided and we would be home right now and I would be happy cuz Zayn wouldn't be in a damn hospital!

"Love?" called Zayn, snapping me out of my thoughts.

He motioned for me come closer with his arm stretched out towards me. I walked up to the bed and put my hand in his. His skin was rough and cold to the touch, not warm and soft like it always was.

"How are you?" he asked.

I was taken aback.

"What? How am I-? Fuck, Zayn, you're in a hospital for fucks sake! You should be worried about yourself not how I'm doing. I'm the least of your worries right now."

I was frustrated, not with myself but Zayn. Out of everything that has happened all he was worried about was me. Why? How could I be more important than the state he was in right now?

"Sarah, I care about you way more than my own well-being. Even right now all I can think about is you and if you're okay. You're all I ever think about, Sarah... I love you. So much."

I knew all of this all too well, but hearing it again while Zayn was this vulnerable was making me beyond emotional.

"I love you too," I said, close to tears.

Zayn's eyes glistened in the too-bright lights of the hospital room, a single tear running down his cheek, and his lips quivered as he spoke,

"I never thought you'd say those words to me ever again."

His grip on my hand tightened as a tear slid down my face and I held his hand back.

"Zayn...I have something to tell you."

Now was a good time to tell Zayn the big news. The outcome of Zayn's future from here was so unclear. It was now or never.

"What is it, love? You can tell me anything," said Zayn, holding my hand in both hands and looking into my eyes with deep care and understanding.

I bit my lip and nervously looked away from Zayn's intense stare as I spoke.

"I-I'm pregnant."

Zayn's face showed no emotion whatsoever as he tried to process what I had just said.

I was nervously awaiting his reaction. What would he think? What would he say? Does he even want to raise a baby with me?

A smiled suddenly spread across his face and his grip tightened around my hand, a tear rolling down his cheek.

"Pregnant?" he spoke, more tears streaming down his face. "You mean I'm going to be a dad?"

"Yes, Zayn. You're going to be a dad."

I was shocked at his response. I didn't think he was going to take it so positively and it made me ecstatic. I wasn't going to raise this baby on my own after all.

Zayn placed a weak hand on my stomach and smiled brightly at me, showing how happy he was about becoming a dad and me having a baby.

I placed my hand over Zayn's and smiled back at him. Things were finally turning out for the best.

The door suddenly burst open and the same nurse walked into the room.

"I'm afraid you have to leave now. Zayn, can't have anymore visitors at this time. His visiting hours are strictly limited because of the condition he is in," said the nurse.

My heart sunk. It hasn't even been 20 minutes. I needed more time with Zayn. I couldn't leave him just yet.

"Can't you just give us five more minutes? Please? I'll be quick I promise-"

"Ma'am, I'm sorry, but you have to leave now."

Zayn and I exchanged sorrowful glances before his hand slowly left my stomach.

"I love you," he whispered and kissed my hand, giving me a small reassuring smile.

"I love you too," I whispered back and suddenly found myself out in the hallway where everyone was waiting for me.

"How'd it go? What did he say?" asked Jill, but I ignored her and everyone else's questions.

I just wanted to be alone.

I leaned back against the wall and slid down until I hit the floor, hugging my knees until I fell asleep.

______________________________________

 

Damn, this chapter was longer than usual. Oh, and sorry for the late update. I was lazy this week /).(\ Oh, and there's three or less chapters to go! Eep! Yay! (^▽^)

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