Love, Loss, and Tattoos

(Note: This is my first FanFic and story that I'm posting on Wattpad so it might be crappy. Please be nice and bear with me here >~<) Sarah Bell has been through some really rough times, and she still does to this day. Her parents died when she was too young to remember and was put into many foster homes at a very young age. She ran away from her recent foster home at the age of 15. She is now 18 and lives in an old shabby apartment in New York City by herself where she struggles to survive and pay rent and can barley afford to take care of herself. But, on one fateful day, while roaming the streets of New York City, she meets a guy that will change the rest of her life forever. Good and bad. Nothing will ever be the same again for Sarah Bell. People will fall in love, hearts will be broken and tears will be shed.

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23. Chapter 23

After a good five minutes I finally finished throwing up. My stomach felt so empty. I hated the feeling of throwing up.

 Danielle continued to rub circles on my back as I was still crouched over the toilet.

 "Are you okay?" she asked in a worried tone.

 "Yeah. I think so," I sighed and sat my butt down on the cold bathroom floor.

 "Danielle, stay here and watch Sarah. I'm gonna go make her some soup. Jill, come with me," ordered Eleanor and Jill followed her out of the bathroom.

 After throwing up a couple more times Danielle led me to my bedroom and gently laid me in bed.

 Eleanor and Jill walked in after, Eleanor carrying a bowl of what I assumed was chicken soup from the smell of it. It made my stomach churn slightly; I thought I was going to be sick again.

 "Just drink the soup it'll make you feel better," said Jill in a comforting tone.

 "Okay," I mumbled in barely a whisper. I was afraid if I opened my mouth I would throw up again.

 "Come on. Open up," said Eleanor and neared the spoon towards my mouth.

 I hesitantly opened my mouth and swallowed the soup.

 The broth trickled down my throat, warming my insides and instantly making me feel better.

 "See? I told you. But does anyone ever listen to Eleanor?"

 I let out a small chuckle and to my surprise, I didn't feel sick anymore. What a relief.

 "Feel better?" asked Jill.

 I nodded. "Yeah."

 I was almost done with the soup and set the spoon down in the bowl when I was full. I realized how much I was taking these girls for granted. They were always so nice and there for me.

 I was feeling better and about to go back to a topic that I certainly did not want to talk about anymore, but I wanted answers. I needed answers. No matter how much I didn't want to talk about it I had to know.

 "So...is Zayn really going to leave the band?" I asked, my voice cracking and tears threatening to fall, but I didn't let them. I wasn't going to show my weakness.

 Everyone's eyes looked down at the floor and their facial expressions turned to one of sorrow. Eleanor took the bowl away from my now warm lap and sighed.

 "We're not sure," she spoke quietly. "They're just rumors for now, but seeing how Zayn has been acting it seems like those rumors may be true."

 I froze. I didn't know what to say. I was in shock.

 I gripped the thin sheets covering only my legs and grit my teeth. I told myself I wouldn't, but I let one single tear escape my eye and bit my lip in an attempt to stop more from falling.

 "It's all my fault," I said in barely a whisper.

 Danielle reached out for my hand to try to comfort me.

 "Sarah-"

 "It's all my fucking fault and you guys know it!" I exclaimed much louder, snatching my hand away from Danielle rather rudely. "It's my fault Zayn is quitting the band! It's all my fucking fault!"

 I put my head in my hands and pulled at my hair, forcing the tears back. They all knew it was true. They all knew it was my fault. Zayn was leaving the band and it was all my fault.

 What if this is the end of One Direction? What if they split up after Zayn leaves and they stop making music and go their separate ways. What if we never hear of them again? What if they're just...forgotten?

 I inhaled a shaky breath, terrified at the thought.

 "Sarah, please calm down!" exclaimed Eleanor and put a hand on my arm. "Just sleep. You need rest and you need to feel better."

 She gently pushed me back into a sleeping positing while the other girls tucked me into bed, burying me in blankets. I gripped the edge of a blanket with both hands and brought it up to my face, covering it up to my nose so I could breath.

 The lights switched off and the room went dark. I heard footsteps ascend the room and the sound of a door being closed.

 Then, all was silent except for my quiet, yet faint, raspy breaths and sniffling nose.

 . . .

 I woke with a start, and just when I thought I was fully recovered from yesterday, I gripped my stomach with a sick feeling growing in my gut.

 I sprang out of bed and sprinted to the bathroom, bending over the toilet and throwing up again. I assumed the girls were gone and it was the next day because they would've been up here by now from the sound of me barfing again.

 How could I be sick again? This just didn't add up. I understood why I got sick yesterday, but this is just ridiculous. Unless...

 I ran back to my room and rummaged through the bedside drawer and finally found my mini planner. I flipped through the pages and looked at last month. And then this month.

 My period was a week late.

 That's no biggie, right? Periods can always be unpredictable at times.

 I sat on my bedroom floor staring at the small planner in my hands, tapping a finger on this months page.

 Fuck it.

 I put on some sweats and an oversized hoodie before leaving the house and heading to the nearest drug store.

 I entered the store and headed to the section where they kept the pregnancy tests and such. I made sure to pick one that I thought was right for me and took it to the front to pay for it.

 "Will that be all, miss?" asked the nice man behind the counter with a funny looking beard.

 "Yes," I said quietly and rather shyly. I could feel my face beginning to blush and turn red.

 What must he be thinking, a 17 year old girl buying a pregnancy test? He must think I'm some sort of whore or slut.

 "Have a nice day," said the man with a warm smile after I had payed for my item.

 "Thanks, you too," I responded a little louder and forced a small smile.

 I quickly made my way back home and went straight to the bathroom. I did what I had to do and cautiously waited for my result.

 I nervously tapped my foot and stared at the test in my hand.

 A small symbol started to appear. After a couple seconds it become clear.

 It was a plus sign.

 Positive.

 I gasped and placed a hand over my stomach, still staring at the positive test result in my shaking hand.

 I'm pregnant.

 . . .

 Zayn's P.O.V

 "1D! 1D! 1D! 1D!" the crowd cheered. They were frantic and screaming nonstop. It was almost giving me a headache.

 I was crouched in the fetal position backstage outside by the exit. I had no shame or dignity left so I let the tears uncontrollably stream down my face.

"Where's Zayn?!" I heard Liam yell backstage.

 The exit door flew open and the rest of the lads stood there, looking down at me with disappointed and pity.

 Louis crouched down next to me and put a hand on my shoulder.

 "Zayn, come on, buddy. We need to finish the show. Do you think you can do that?" asked Louis in a very soft and gentle tone.

 I wanted to say "Yes". The show must go on and I couldn't disappoint the fans, but the only thing I could think about was Sarah and how much I've hurt her and the insane amount of regret I feel because of it. I couldn't bring myself to say it.

 "I-I can't," I said, my voice cracking and more tears streaming down my face.

 "Alright, let's get him in the bus. We'll have to continue the show on our own again," said Liam and they all helped me up, leading me to the tour bus.

 They placed me in the lower bunk and I crawled in, wrapping myself in a blanket and curling into a ball facing the wall.

 "Poor, Zayn," I heard Niall say as they exited the bus and closed the door.

 I gripped the blanket tighter and a single tear slid down my cheek.

 "I'm sorry..."

 . . .

 I didn't like to look back on yesterday's events, or everyday for that matter. Today we were on our way to some other country that I could care less about. I stopped keeping track a long time ago.

 I was still in bed and trying to sleep because if I slept then I would forget, and if I forget then my mind will finally be at peace.

 "Hey, Zayn, how you doin', mate?" asked Liam.

 I hadn't realized he walked in until now.

 "Yeah," I responded below a whisper, but he somehow heard me when he said,

 "Alright. Just making sure, buddy."

 He then left and I was left alone again.

 "Where we heading today?" I heard Harry ask the lads. He could always be quite loud.

 "Ye old city of New York I believe," answered Louis.

 My heart stopped. Did he just say New York? But that's where...

 I scrambled out of bed and barged into the main room of the bus. I stood in the doorway and everyone stopped what they were doing to stare at me with wide eyes.

 "Did you just say New York City?" I asked, panting as if I had just ran a mile.

 "Well, look who's finally out of his bat cave," said Liam with a small smile.

 "Answer my question," I said, dismissing Liam's comment.

 "Yes, I said New York City," said Louis.

 So, I wasn't hearing things after all. We were actually going to New York City.

 Where my Sarah was.

 That's it. This was my chance. I could finally find her and apologize for everything I've done to her. I could make it up to her. God, I would do anything if it meant being with her for the rest of my life. I couldn't miss this opportunity.

 "How long until we get there?" I asked quickly.

 "This wouldn't happen to have anything to do with Sarah would it?" asked Louis with a smirk growing at the corner of his face.

 "Just tell me!" I exclaimed loudly and almost yelling.

 "Calm the fuck down, Zayn, we'll be there in an hour or so," said Liam.

 I sighed and looked out the window of the tour bus. One hour. I didn't have the patience to wait that long. I need to see Sarah.

 I need to see her now.

______________________________________

 

Ok, this is a later update, but I also have some news. First of all, thank you for over 1,000 reads, it means a lot ^_^ Also, I've been very inactive on Movellas and might stop updating on Movellas. If you want to continue reading this story then go on Wattpad and search me up (I use the same username and book titles). I've updated way more on there. Thanks again btw and keep on readin' x3

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