Love, Loss, and Tattoos

(Note: This is my first FanFic and story that I'm posting on Wattpad so it might be crappy. Please be nice and bear with me here >~<)

Sarah Bell has been through some really rough times, and she still does to this day. Her parents died when she was too young to remember and was put into many foster homes at a very young age. She ran away from her recent foster home at the age of 15.

She is now 18 and lives in an old shabby apartment in New York City by herself where she struggles to survive and pay rent and can barley afford to take care of herself.

But, on one fateful day, while roaming the streets of New York City, she meets a guy that will change the rest of her life forever. Good and bad. Nothing will ever be the same again for Sarah Bell.

People will fall in love, hearts will be broken and tears will be shed.


20. Chapter 20

It's been a couple of days since the incident on the night at the club and I've been recovering slowly but with progress. The cuts were finally fading and so were the bruises, but my body was still sore. I've been taking the medications the doctor prescribed me but I can still feel the pain and the memories.

Because of me, the lads had to cancel a couple of shows and I felt really guilty about it but Zayn insisted that it was okay. The lads were pretty fine with it too and enjoyed a little break even though it was only for a week.

The boys were especially lazy and stayed in the house all day everyday. Us girls did the same as well but sometimes they left me alone with the boys because my body was still sore and in pain. I also didn't want to look like a freak out in public.

"So what should we watch today," said Liam as he skimmed through channels on the flat screen TV as we all sat on the couch.

"Anything but 'Toy Story'," said Louis.

"Well, shit," said Liam in defeat and Louis snatched the remote from him and tried to look for something else to watch.

Being sick wasn't fun. Having to stay inside all day and take medicine sucks. While I stayed home the girls went out shopping, watched movies and ate without me. The boys couldn't afford to be seen out in public so they stayed inside most of the time. I would've died of boredom by now.

Speaking of girls, they all left me again this morning to go shopping for clothes and stuff like that. Maybe they would bring me something, who knows.

"Did you guys find anything to watch yet?!" I yelled with exhaustion and annoyance clear in my tone. I was getting impatient and I just wanted to watch something to get my mind off this aching pain on my whole body. The painkillers were barely even working.

"You okay, babe?" whispered Zayn and rubbed my shoulder with his arm wrapped around me. I sighed and nodded, not saying a word. I didn't want to say anything offensive to him.

Just as I was starting to get comfortable and layed my head on Zayn's shoulder there was a knock at the door. I groaned as I stood up and walked over to the door to open it. I was greeted by Jill, Eleanor, and Danielle with a million bags hanging from their arms.

"Hey, guys," I said, trying to sound enthusiastic and happy to see them. The amount of bags they had overwhelmed me.

"Hey, Sarah, we got you some stuff. I know how much you love Hot Topic and Spencer's so we got you a couple things from there," said Jill and handed me three bags from Hot Topic and two from Spencer's.

"Wow. Thanks, guys," I said. I was surprised they bought so much stuff. I could never afford this much.

I reached into a Hot Topic bag and pulled out a pair of ripped jeans. There were at least three pairs of these and in the other bag a Batman beanie, bracelet and belt. Batman was my favorite superhero.

The last Hot Topic bag had some T-shirts of bands that I liked: Pierce The Veil, Black Veil Brides, Sleeping With Sirens and Consider Me Dead. But none of them could compare to my love for One Direction. There was actually a One Direction T-shirt with the Midnight Memories album design. I blushed and quickly pushed to the bottom of the bag and buried it under the other T-shirts.

The Spencer's bags had snapbacks in them. There was a Batman snapback, a creeper snapback from Minecraft, Rigby from Regular show, Finn and Jake from Adventure Time and TMNT.

They were all amazing gifts and it did make me feel better. They really knew what I liked.

"Thanks so much. I love all of it," I said and gave everyone a hug.

"Oh, wait. You didn't see this bag," said Eleanor and passed me a Spencer's bag with a mischievous grin on her face. This was a Spencer's bag and it could be anything and that scared me. They had really dirty things in that store but most of the stuff in the store was cool.

I cautiously opened the bag and reached in to find some Batman clothes. There was a plain black pajama Spaghetti strap with the Batman logo on it and the straps along with the collar were yellow. The back of the shirt had yellow lace straps that stopped halfway down the shirt. There was a pair of black underwear attached with the Batman logo on it as well. There were yellow lace straps on the sides and the rims were yellow.

I tried to hold back a laugh by covering my mouth. I was shocked.

"You did not!" I exclaimed and they all giggled at my reaction. My face was burning in embarrassment and the thought of wearing this...for Zayn.

"What are you girls laughing about?" As if on cue Zayn walked in on us and stood next to me. I quickly stuffed the lingerie in the plastic back and wrapped it up.

"Nothing," I said, trying to stop blushing but I knew he could see.

I looked back at the TV, hoping to change the subject and what I saw was definitely going to catch everybody's attention.

Louis had stopped on the news channel and they were talking about a criminal who was currently under arrest. They showed his mugshot and under his pictures there was the information of his crimes: murder, theft...and rape.

My blood went cold and my whole body froze. I gripped Zayn's hand beside me and he looked down at me.

"Sarah, are you okay?" he asked in a worried tone and followed my gaze on the TV.

"That's the guy," I said so quietly that it was barely a whisper.

"What?" asked Zayn.

"The guy!" I exclaimed a little more loudly.

"What guy?!" yelled Zayn and everyone else turned to look at us.

"The guy who raped me," I said weakly, my voice cracking a little bit and everyone gasped. Zayn tightened his grip on my hand and looked back up at the TV.

"How do you know?" he asked a little more calmly.

I reluctantly looked up at the TV and the man staring back was definitely the same man who raped me.

I remembered looking into those eyes and feeling extreme and absolute fear.

Just one look at those eyes and the memories came flooding back. The way he abused me with rough handling and smacking me and how he took advantage of my body... I shook my head and pushed the memories away. I'd never forget those evil menacing eyes.

The eyes that belonged to a monster.

"I just do," I whispered and when they switched to an interview I closed my eyes and turned away from the TV. I didn't want to hear what he had to say or hear him talk about his other victims and what he did to them. It was just too painful. I didn't want to look at him or hear his voice ever again.

"Turn it off! Change it! I don't give a shit!" I yelled and heard Louis fumble with the remote until he finally changed the channel.

It was some celebrity news channel.

Zayn ran his thumb over my hand in an attempt to comfort me and I leaned into him. I felt his body suddenly stiffen next to mine.

"Louis, turn the damn TV off," said Zayn in a very stern and irritated tone.

I looked up at the TV again to see a lady talking to the camera.

"Is Zayn Malik, former band member of the British pop sensation boy band known as One Direction, rumored to be dating two women at the same time: Perrie Edwards and Sarah Bell? Or is he cheating?"

I swear my heart stopped beating there for a second.

Is this lady telling the truth? Or is it just pointless gossip and rumors?

Zayn would never cheat on me...would he?

Either way, I needed to know.

"I said, turn the fucking damn TV off!" screamed Zayn but Louis ignored him.

"She deserves to know," said Niall, speaking up. What the hell was he talking about?

I averted my attention back at the TV.

"Our sources have given us multiple different information but one look at these pictures taken of Zayn Malik with Perrie Edwards on multiple dates pretty much proves the rumors. Is Zayn Malik a player? Will any of them ever find out? Or will Zayn keep it a secret and continue to date both women at the same time?"

"I sure feel bad for both of those girls," said the lady with a laugh, obviously mocking me.

"Louis I fucking swear-"

"Zayn, she already knows!" Liam yelled back.

Zayn looked at me while I was still dazed by the TV. They were showing multiple pictures of Zayn and Perrie together. There was one with them holding hands and smiling at each other. Another with them walking out of a club at night and so many others.

My blood went cold and my body refused to make any movement. It was like time had just stopped; along with my heart.

So it was true. Zayn really did cheat on me behind my back. He was a manipulative, cheating lying asshole.

The pictures were proof enough.

It literally broke my heart to see Zayn with someone else other than me, especially Perrie. It killed me.

"Sarah, I-"

"Is it true?" I asked, interrupting him.


"Fucking answer me!" I screamed. I was more infuriated than hurt right now.

"I-I did, okay? I cheated on you behind your back, but I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry. It was all a big mistake. Please forgive me, baby. Please."

His soothing words and use of pet names weren't going to faze me. I was still furious with him and I wasn't going to let him get the best of me.

"Sarah..." Zayn took a step towards me but I countered his action with a single step back.

"Get out," I said in a low voice, looking down at the floor.


"I said, get out!" I yelled and Zayn's expression changed from sympathetic to shocked and hurt, but I didn't want to believe he could be hurt. He brought this on himself.

"Love, please-"

"I said, get out, Zayn!" I nearly screamed, pointing to the door.

"Come on, man, let's go," said Liam and patted Zayn's back. Without another word, Zayn nodded and let Liam lead him to the door with Niall, Louis and Harry close behind.

"Bye, Sarah. Thanks for everything and I hope you feel better," said Liam and he pushed Zayn through the doorway. But before Zayn could walk through, he looked back at me with deep, forgiving sorrowful eyes but I looked away, down at the floor. I didn't want to look at him.

Once they were all out I slammed the door shut and slid down against it until I was sitting on the floor. I hugged my legs and rested my head on my knees, gritting my teeth and squinting my eyes shut in hurt and frustration.

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