Love, Loss, and Tattoos

(Note: This is my first FanFic and story that I'm posting on Wattpad so it might be crappy. Please be nice and bear with me here >~<) Sarah Bell has been through some really rough times, and she still does to this day. Her parents died when she was too young to remember and was put into many foster homes at a very young age. She ran away from her recent foster home at the age of 15. She is now 18 and lives in an old shabby apartment in New York City by herself where she struggles to survive and pay rent and can barley afford to take care of herself. But, on one fateful day, while roaming the streets of New York City, she meets a guy that will change the rest of her life forever. Good and bad. Nothing will ever be the same again for Sarah Bell. People will fall in love, hearts will be broken and tears will be shed.

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19. Chapter 19

I opened my eyes but Zayn wasn't in bed with me or anywhere in sight. The room was also dark when there should be sunlight streaming through the windows, providing natural light for me, but there wasn't. It was dark and ominous in the room and I didn't like it.

Fear and anxiety suddenly washed over me and I was about to sit up when something attached to my wrists stopped me. I tugged on my hands again but they wouldn't budge. Shit, no, not again.

They were, indeed, handcuffs. I pulled and kicked but realized that my ankles were handcuffed as well. I started to panic as I attempted to break free from my restraints but nothing was working. No matter how hard I tugged on them they wouldn't budge.

I was about to cry when a dark and sinister voice that sent chills up my spine spoke,

"There's no use in trying, babydoll. You're mine now and I'll make sure of it this time." There was no mistaking that voice that brought back a terrible memory and pain that I wish I could forget.

It was the man who raped me.

He was here and in my room. And, once again, I was helpless without Zayn to save me. I was all alone with this monster. It didn't look like escape was evident right now.

He walked out of the darkest shadows of the room and slowly and dramatically walked towards the bed. My grew wide and I tried breaking free from these cuffs but it was no use. He was already crawling up the bed until he hovered over me and all I could see was his menacing, dark evil eyes.

His hand came up to my face and stroked my cheek with the pad of his thumb, but I didn't enjoy it one bit. He disgusted me in every way but at the same time terrified me to death. In this case, all that I could feel was fear.

I pulled on the cuffs on my wrists in another attempt to free myself but it was impossible and this time both of my hands were handcuffed. What was I supposed to do?

Right now all I could think of was plead and cry. They were the only things I knew how to do lately. The tears uncontrollably streamed down my face and I struggled to speak.

"P-please don't. No. Oh, G-God please not again. Please!" I practically begged this man but he was pure evil and he wouldn't just leave me alone. He had an objective. He wanted to hurt me again. To make me feel the same pain as the other night and then leave me to suffer by myself in agony again. And I really didn't want to go through that again. Oh, God no.

Ignoring my pleads, he slammed himself inside of me and I gasped loudly as a sharp and agonizing pain shot through my body. It was terrible, horrific. I never wanted to feel this again but here it was, happening all over again.

His hands were touching my body in violent and careless ways, leaving more bruises to remind me of this painful memory. I cried out in pain as he thrusted himself even deeper and the searing pain rushing through me was unbearable. And there was nothing I could do about it.

I gripped the bed sheets tightly and grit my teeth as tears soaked my cheeks. I felt hopeless and defeated, weak. I just wanted all of this to end. I wanted Zayn to come and rescue me from this evil devilish monster.

"Zayn!" I screamed out his name. But of course he wouldn't hear me. He wasn't here. He was gone.

"Shut up!" yelled the man molesting me and his features became truly terrifying. He was furious. I knew what was coming.

He slowly lifted a hand in the air...

. . .

I woke up with a blood curdling scream and sprang up in bed. My face was stained with tears and my heart was beating out of my chest along with my fast and uncontrolled breathing. I looked around the room and noticed how dark it was and it only terrified me even more.

I screamed again. I was so shaken up and terrified and I just didn't know what to except for scream. I was crying too, and I couldn't stop. No matter how much I tried I couldn't stop crying and shaking.

"Sarah! Are you okay?! What's wrong?!"

I looked to my side but it was dark and all I could see was a dark figure laying in bed with me and my heart stopped. It was him.

I screamed again but he grabbed me by the arms and held me there in place while I screamed and cried my eyes out in horror.

"Sarah, stop it! It's me, okay? It's me!" he yelled in my face while I tried to free my arms from his grasp. I started to cry even more than before. This was it.

"Sarah!" he yelled once again in a booming voice and my whole body froze. It was like it had knocked me out of a trance.

I opened my eyes to come face to face with Zayn. It really was him this time. Without hesitating I buried my face in Zayn's chest and let the tears fall freely while he rubbed my back and cooed in my ear.

At that moment the bedroom door flew open and everyone tumbled into the room and onto the floor. I screamed on instinct and Louis screamed back at me in response. I hugged Zayn tighter but loosened my grip when I realized it was just our friends. I sighed.

"What the hell happened in hear?!" asked Liam.

"I think Sarah had a nightmare," answered Zayn.

Everyone gave me sympathetic looks filled with concern and worry.

"Don't worry, guys, I'm fine," I said shakily when I knew that it was a lie.

"Are you sure?" asked Zayn worriedly. I knew all that all they wanted to do was help me but I couldn't let them know what my nightmare was about. I couldn't let anybody know. I just couldn't.

"Yes, I'm sure," I respond a little unsure. Fuck, why can't I sound confident and persuading?

"Well, I guess since we're up we can eat now," said Niall and Jill face palmed herself while the others quietly laughed to themselves and shook their heads at Niall's comment. That boy really loves to eat.

I decided to get something to eat as well since I was starving and haven't had anything decent to eat since that night at the club and hospital food isn't really satisfying.

I slowly slid out of bed, aware of my still sore body, and carefully made my way to the door. I passed by the others and received a worried glance from Harry as I walked by. I still needed to talk to him but that could wait until after I eat.

I conquered going down the stairs, with a little help from Zayn, and entered the kitchen. I stood in front of the marble counter and put my palms on it and tapped my fingers, trying to decide what to make. I was feeling extra lazy today along with being emotionally drained and I didn't want to do anything because of my sore body too.

Cereal it is.

I grabbed a box of Reese's Puffs, which was my favorite, and a medium sized bowl. I wasn't fond of dull regular cereal. I liked my cereal with flavor and not some whole wheat shit or bran. They were for old people.

As I began to pour my cereal someone barged into the kitchen and I jumped, spilling some cereal on the counter and the floor. Shit. I had to stop being so jumpy and paranoid all the time, but I couldn't help it.

I realized it was Niall and he noticed the fallen pieces of cereal on the floor.

"Five second rule!" he exclaimed before bending down to eat the cereal from the floor. I rolled my eyes with a smile on my face. He stood back up and smiled at me with a mouth full of Reese's Puffs.

I shook my head at him and smiled to myself before continuing to pour my cereal. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Niall raiding the fridge and taking out many different foods.

God, this boy really loves food. I noticed that he took out eggs, cheese, hotdogs, bread, butter and milk. Damn.

"Goddamn, Niall, are you making a buffet?!" I exclaim with a laugh.

"Specifically omelets and French toast. Maybe some pancakes if you're lucky. You want some?" he asked. Niall Horan? Sharing food? This must be a parallel universe.

"Yeah, make me an omelet with cheese and hotdog. I'm kinda picky," I said and Niall gives me a warm smile.

"Yes, ma'am," he responds and begins cooking by turning on the electric stove. I grab a spoon from a drawer and head out to the living room where everyone is watching TV and sitting on the couch.

Zayn smiles when he sees me and pats down on an empty spot next to him. Coincidentally, Harry is sitting next to that empty spot as well. This was also the perfect opportunity to talk to Harry about his strange behavior.

I sit myself down between the two but my full attention is on Zayn as he wraps an arm around my waist and pulls me in closer against him. I take a spoonful of cereal and shove it in my mouth.

By the time I'm past halfway through my bowl of cereal I revert my attention to Harry. He looks kind of off as he stares into space and zoning out. I can tell he's spacing because of the blank expression on his face.

"Harry?" I asked and poked him in the cheek with my spoon. He snaps out of it and looks at me and I swore I could see a small hint of sadness in his eyes but it's quickly replaced with joy and a smile.

"Did you just poke me with a spoon?" he asked with a laugh.

"Maybe," I said and twirled the utensil in my hand.

"Did someone say spoons?" asked Liam in a very worried and alarmed tone.

"Catch!" I yelled and threw the spoon at Liam and he fell off of the couch while attempting to try to get away from the spoon while screaming like a little girl.

Harry and I both burst into laughter and I fell back onto Zayn's lap still in a laughing fit. He smiled down at me and stroked the hair out of my face before leaning for a long warm kiss.

"Hey, tone it down on the PDA!" screamed Louis and we both softly laughed into each others mouth. Zayn quickly pecked me on the lips before returning to watching TV.

"Here's your omelet, Sarah!" yelled Niall as he walked out of the kitchen with a "Kiss The Cook" apron on and handed me my omelet on a plate.

"Why thank you, Chef Horan," I said jokingly and tried using a fancy British accent.

"No problem, madam," he said in the same tone as I and we both started to laugh. Jill walked over and gave Niall a kiss on the cheek and the lips.

"I knew it was a good idea to wear this apron," he said with a smirk and Jill shook her head before kissing him again. They were literally the cutest thing ever.

When I looked over at Harry he wasn't looking at Jill and Niall's display of affection. Instead he looked out the window at the city.

He looked...lonely.

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