Love it’s such a simple word, isn’t it? Four letters, easy to spell and write down on a sheet of paper, but so hard to understand exactly what it is. Apart from air, food and water, it probably the one thing on this planet that we all crave more than anything else. Love comes in many forms, each as intricate and bewildering as the next.


3. I Love Sinead

Like I say in those early days, neither of us had any hopes of a romance developing. We enjoyed every minute of each other’s company. Slowly however I sensed a change. I woke up thinking about her, I went to sleep thinking of her, my mental pictures playing on a carousel in my mind. I even woke in a cold sweat in the middle of the night calling out her name. I don’t know how my partner didn’t realise that something was wrong, but we were in the death rolls of the relationship as I have mentioned.

I remember vividly the moment our relationship changed from platonic to love. We were in Maccydees, why we were there I can’t remember. We sat opposite each other both eating our food talking about inane things like you do, maybe sensing something was about to happen. I reached across to wipe a little mayo off her radiant cheeks. There was a smile on her face, and a sparkle of life in those beautiful green eyes. The world seemed to stop still as we gazed into each other’s eyes. Leaning across the table, I kissed those luscious lips. They tasted of caramel and chicken, beautiful. Our mouths opened slowly as we held the kiss for what seemed like an age. Our moment was interrupted by clapping and whistling. We parted to see people around applauding our kiss. Both our faces turned scarlet with embarrassment. We quickly finished our meals and left not looking back at the restaurant. Reaching the car we let ourselves in. The silence continued as we sat contemplating what had happened. Glancing at Sinead, I saw the same apprehension and bewilderment on her face as I felt myself. She turned towards me not sure what to say, fastening her seatbelt. I started the car and we left. Conversation was patchy and stilted on the journey back. I pulled up on the end of her street so she could get out. Our eyes met again, I reached across and pulled her towards me in my arms. I met no resistance as I once again kissed those wondrous lips. This time there was nothing to disturb us and the clinch lasted until we both came up for air. Looking around in case someone had seen us, we once again came together, this time lasting longer. She eventually pulled away. ‘Love you’ I said quietly surprising myself. She smiled at me and gave me a last kiss on the lips before leaving. I sat there bewildered at what had just happened.

Over the next few weeks we snatched sweet moments with each other, usually at some roadside coffee shop far from where we lived. I’m not proud of the fact that I was still in a relationship with Sarah, but I was frightened to throw it in, afraid that the whole pack of cards would come crashing down on my head leaving me with nothing. Each tie we’d sit furtively in a corner holding hands under the table. Then we’d sit in the car catching brief moments of joy in our arms before I returned Sinead home. 

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