February; A month that holds a day for people who are dumb enough to believe in love. My love has found peace in a place the pastor called heaven. I don't know if i believe in life after death but if heaven is as good as it sounds i would want him to be there. The night he was taken from me was horrid. When i found him i knew he was dead. He looked so peaceful in his never ending sleep. I prayed to myself that it was just sleep, that he would wake up and come back to me. The tears came immediately and i ran over to my love. The note that was on his chest was for me it read
My love, i am so sorry i couldn't fight for you. I tried Ryan but i couldn't.. I needed release from my life. I needed release from my past and my dad. My love when you find me please do not follow me into the life of non existence. Find someone who isn't damaged. Find someone who isn't like me, a man that has his life figured out. You don't need me darling i am so sorry that i was so weak. Please forgive me
The note is still in the pocket of my jeans i wore that day. I remember screaming for him to come back to me. He was my first love and my best friend..
Living with my dad and a boy band isn't bad but it isn't all sunshine and flowers either especially since i have breast cancer. Between doctors appointments, leukemia treatments and being so weak its hard. My dad helps a lot but my best friend Harry helps the most by being there. I have a small crush on him but its hard to love him because of spencer.
"Come on Ryan you can do it." Says a raspy male voice. "I hate cancer with a burning passion." I say. Im sitting at a hair dresser getting ready to cut all of my long black hair off. Id rather cut it now than wait for it to fall out. "I know me too thats why we need to kick this bitches ass." I laugh. Thats Harrys term for fighting cancer. "Okay well here we go."
After the lady is done all my hair is gone