1. A letter for the lost
Every morning I wake up and reach for you, only to be met with imprint that you left, your pillow still fragrant with that perfume you'd wear. I always make two bowls of cornflakes and sprinkle sugar over yours, eating mine in silence opposite your empty seat. I watch the news every day and pray for each soul lost and thank God for each saved, because even though I don't have a personal religion, you did and the way you cared about everything and everyone is a gift worth carrying on.
I go out every afternoon to the lake, because you'd give me a slap on the head and tell me not to be so lazy if I stayed in all day. I could never be as active as you but I try.
I found your paints the other day and now when I go to the lake, I'll paint the house boats that sail downstream because you always loved those. I always promised you that I would buy one for you one day and that we would live on the canal like Rosie and Jim, although you always had that love of pirates, the sense of adventure. I'm sorry I never bought you a boat. I have now though, actually. I sold the house and I bought a boat. You were always the spontaneous type so I thought I'd give it a go. It has a few holes but I've patched them up. I named it after you. So technically, you got your wish after all I guess....
I'm doing all the things I said we would do together. I plan to sail around the world...or the country...so far I'm only half way around the lake but that must be worth something.
I adopted that stray cat that you'd feed every time it wandered into our garden. It lives with me on the boat now, although maybe that's not such a good idea. I've had to jump in the lake three times now to rescue it. But I never get angry, because every time I jump in, I swear I can hear you laughing at me and I can't help but laugh as well.
I could never go on all the adventures we'd planned but I'm trying my hardest. I'm trying to live all the days you can't and paint all the days we lived together. Because I know now life is precious and I shouldn't have taken you for granted. My wife, my love, no matter how far I sail, I can never escape the ache that I feel every day missing you.
But for now I will sail and paint and live and love you always.