I hated graveyards. The idea of bodies lying beneath you, all stuck in coffins and rotting freaked me out. The thoughts of being accidentally being buried alive freaks me out even more. The Victorians had a good arrangement. They tied a bell to the person when buried. If it turns out that they were actually alive, they could ring the bell. someone would hear, and they would be dug out. The thoughts of being shuddered alive made me shuddered.
I walked into the kitchen. James stood there, endlessly swirling a teaspoon in his mug. I inwardly sighed. James wasn't my favourite person in the world, and I wasn't his. He glared in my direction, but didn't speak. I awkwardly looked away and proceeded to get my breakfast.
He suddenly put down his coffee with a thud, and I jumped and saw that he was right beside me.
"Don't hurt Hugo. I don't agree with you two dating, and that boy doesn't need to grieve over anyone else."
"I wouldn't dream of hurting him" I frowned.
"It could be easier to let go now before he gets too attached."
"He's not a dog, James. We can make our own decisions." I instantly felt terrified at standing up for myself. He stared into my eyes, chilling my soul. But then other people started to enter the room, and James adverted his gaze.
A few hours later, there we stood in front of Allison Reilly's grave. We weren't there for long before James, Lacey and mum left to go back to the car. Clodagh and Hugo started to talk, but to be honest, I just tuned off and focused on the grave, and tried to imagine what Allison looked like. I hadn't seen any pictures. I imagined her being a lot like Hugo.
"She was one of the loveliest people you could ever meet."
I looked up to a tear stained Hugo, and saw that Clodagh had left to go back to the car too.
"I miss her."
I bit my lip, and didn't know what to say. I admired him, to say the least. He was the emblem of strength. His beloved mother dead, a messed up family, step sister for a girlfriend and bullied, yet he manages to keep it together somehow.
"You would've liked mum" Hugo continued, snapping me out of my thoughts. "She was warm, caring, kind. She was very beautiful too." He cocked his head, seeming to try and get a different angle to look at the headstone.
"Sometimes... Sometimes I still expect her to come in the door. I wait for her. I sometimes feel like it never happened."
I gave him a sideways hug, being cautious of the handsome suit he was wearing, resting my head on his shoulder. He sighed and rested his head on mine.
"She would've liked you. Loved you, in fact."
"You think so?"
"I know so."
He kissed my hair.
"I think that this is enough for another year." He gulped, straightened his posture in preparation to walk away, and grabbed my hand.
"I love you mum" he whispered, and began to walk away.
"You can come more than once a year" I said softly.
"I don't want to bring my misery to her" he mumbled.
I rubbed his arm.
"Hopefully you'll be happier this year."
And then he began to sob.
I grabbed him in a hug, and he buried his head into my chest.
"She's not here Emily! And I can't ever get her back!"
I stroked his hair.
"I'm so sorry Hugo.."
"I want my mum!" he cried.
I gulped as the tears fell down my cheeks.
He sobbed harder.
"I want my mummy" came a distraught, child's voice from within my chest.