Safe Haven

In pursuit of creating the perfect human, the government has set up special schools. Each student is fallen. They are the trash of society, the whores, the beggars, the murderers, the scum. Brought up in horrific conditions, the students must become obedient and morally perfect in order to be free. However, freedom comes at a price. Each boy and girl are matched together, so that later they will produce the "perfect" child. Brought here against her own will, Kathy doesn't remember her past. She is being beaten, scorned at, bullied and mocked. All she has ever known in her life is fear and pain. When she meets the new mysterious student called James, he shows her what the school really means. (This story is rough draft and I have a mission to get it to the end so I can edit and make it decent)


13. Please Read. Important.

Okay, after spending four hours in the café today, I decided to change the plot of the story a bit. It's not a major change, but I need some opinion on this.

I think that this story has a lot of spontaneous moments that come out randomly and have  no natural flow and I can sense it going nowhere. So, I decided that instead of James being the newbie in the school, I would make Kathy be the stranger and James would have been in the school for a while before her.

I thought that it would give me more opportunity to show rather than tell, as the cliché goes, and the story would be more exciting. I could flesh it out more with new information and her first experiences of the brutal regime in the school.

Also, I wanted to change the name of the main character to Tessa, because I find Kathy too much like me (the name especially). I won't change her too much, just add a bit of fire to her character. How about it?

Don't worry, the previous characters like Willow, Poppy, Breeda and the rest will remain unchanged and their relationship with the main character would also stay the same. Wouldn't it be interesting seeing how Kathy met Poppy for the first time? Or how Kathy adapts to her new environment?

I have a big plot twist for James too, but it won't work unless I change the story like I suggest.

The key scenes as well would remain untouched and I wanted to try and switch to third person narrative to write with some detachment and hopefully, if I can, jump around into other characters' minds and write from their perspective.

I really prefer this than the old plot, because it has more action and it will be juicier. In the old version, I feel like I'm writing just for the sake of making the story go on and it's tedious and offers no plot twists or anything amazing.

So, please let me know what you think of this plan, because I have three weeks until school and it's my final year (hello, exams) and I want to write as much as I can before I torture myself with study.

Comment below as soon as possible and I'll start to write immediately or else I'll go on with this story if the majority prefer the old version.

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